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very sick hook on attention
thats the positive
negative is your fluctuation when you rhyme
It won't take you much time to fix that since you already have the solid lyrics
2pac is probably the best example of what I'm talking about here

btw, nice beats. who made em?

Don Coda made attention, the other two were random beats we picked up throughout Youtube.
Thank you though, all criticism is welcome.
Im the fist verse in both Till I Die and Damn It Feels Good; Attention I'm the last verse.

*edit*
Accidentally hit quote twice.

This post was edited by Zuron on Aug 19 2012 09:44am

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sounds good! check my mate out
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xz_MN9momYs&feature=player_embedded


His name's Levi. Shot in Boston Massachusetts. Let me know what you think and please comment!

checked out
it was dope

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oooh, that's changes things. your fluctuation is good. I thought you were the 1st guy.
good stuff, i'd like to hear more soon.
lmk if you need some beats of your own

This post was edited by Outlawed87 on Aug 21 2012 09:38pm