This just in! A plane crashed into a hotel that was hosting a pop-music convention. Over 67 casualties have been reported. Among the dead are Katy Perry, Lil Wayne, Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Britney Spears, Niki Minaj, Wiz Khalifa, Beyonce, Drake, Eminem, Adele, Kesha, and all of those Disney people too. Tragic, just tragic.
Coincidentally, reports of suicide are shooting through the roof! However, these incidents are believed to wane and fall to an all time low!
On another note, the average American IQ is on the rise! Scientists and statisticians alike are baffled as to the cause.