Didn't know where to post this but; I wrote song lyrics so here goes it:

Un-named country song.
Would like for a guy to sing this.

((Slow Beginning))
(Verse)
Its seemed like forever,
Even though it wasn't long.
We said our goodbyes.
And the love was finally gone.
I still feel the same way
that I felt those nights before.
But I don't want to talk to you,
Not about us anymore.

(Chorus)
I dont wanna talk about us anymore,
Not all the nights we had before,
Not all the love we had apart,
Not the nights we fell in love.
Not the night when you first kissed my lips,
and the spark started then.
I don't wanna talk about us anymore,
Theres nothing left there anymore.

(Verse)
It's been a long time,
since I felt the touch of your skin,
the warmest feeling I've felt,
Since the day I stopped in.
Things didn't go quite right,
And when I looked into your eyes,
They were empty again,
And that's when I knew we weren't there.

(Chorus)
I dont wanna talk about us anymore,
Not all the nights we had before,
Not all the love we had apart,
Not the night you stole my heart.
Not the night when you first kissed my lips,
and the spark started then.
I don't wanna talk about us anymore,
Theres nothing left there anymore.

(bridge)
Well I stormed out angry when it was dark outside,
the stars were up and it was snowing and I couldn't even cry.
I was too upset about the hell that you raised,
About the times you hurt me.
And I went away,
Never to see your face.

(slower)
I dont wanna talk about us anymore,
Not all the nights we had before,
Not all the love we had apart,
Not the night you stole my heart.
Not the night when you first kissed my lips,
and the spark started then.
I don't wanna talk about us anymore,
Theres nothing left there anymore.



LMK what you think, K?

Choruses are as long as verses?
So half the freaking song would be the chorus?

Nah man.

There's a lot of country out there with choruses as long as versus. The best tunes are those with choruses that blend so well (and don't repeat) that you don't recognize the chorus through the first listen.

I'm not a fan of "love" or "broken heart" or "it's over" etc. songs but I can't objectively judge lyrics this way.

I can say that if you want your chorus to make a stand three times in the song, vary the material a little bit. I guess that's just my opinion too, but to me, it's the difference between passionate artists and money hungry mainstream lookalikes. I hate the "Beat it into your brain until it's stuck there" strategy, which really isn't that strategic. It's just someone who was too lazy to put enough imagination into their work to make it interesting before releasing it.

I'm not talking about you. I'm talking about people who do this for a living. Or do you...? Different words in each chorus. Similar enough to acknowledge that it's the chorus, different enough to not be the same thing your listener(s) heard 30 seconds ago.

Chorus needs work imo. But I liked it.

Anymore used in chorus 3 times seems like a bit much, depends on who sings it maybe. But you can probably find a better line to end the chorus than "Theres nothing left there anymore"

This post was edited by MeatStick101 on Dec 2 2011 12:09am

Well haven't slept in two days lol. So it's a bit difficult to think of something when your real tired. Course, cannot sleep.
Anywho, no I do not do this for a living. I just write sometimes, especially when somethings happened. Usually makes
me feel better.

I'm a big country fan and it seems as if I've heard this song somewhere before.. But i did attempt to sing your lyric's and IMO there's way to much of repeating in your songs. If you have any video's or audio on youtube of any other country song's i would love to hear them and tell you what i think of them. You could also email a country singer or something and see what they think also. I suggest you email Brantley Gilbert he's an excellent singer he's not well known but he might even sing your song for you if he likes it. Jason Aldean sings most of the song's Brantley wrote.

This post was edited by pure619 on Dec 2 2011 01:43am

Yeah I want to kind of fix it up, change a few things. I know, it popped in my head out of no where, I have no idea where it came from. I don't always listen to country, mostly metal etc but for some reason
it just popped in my head at the perfect time. I swear I might have heard something similar before myself but I asked my friends and they said they don't think so. :\ Honestly, How on earth do you find these
things out? I searched it on google and couldn't find the lyrics of it from anyone, something similar that is like punk-ish but that's about it. Not the same words though, and a very different verse. It has kind of
a fast-ish tune to it and I hate posting myself on youtube. :\ I don't have many me things on there. It feels too weird. I do play guitar though, and from time to time other instruments as well. But mostly
guitar. Been playing for 13 years. It's really something I just enjoy doing. Nothing compared to my writing.
Im working on a book also, do you know where I would go with a sci-fi novel? I'm almost complete it, only have 3 chapters left maybe, possibly a few more chapters, but around 3-ish and I really want to get
it published in hopes someone takes it and publishes it and maybe in like 5-10 years it goes big. I would love to share my stories with the world

agreed shorten the chorus

I was in a local band for years. We sold about 2,000 copies of our cd in just our state. We recently broke up. I was the one of the lyric writers.

The best thing to do is what you did. Play the chorus and keep it stuck in people's heads.
The best feeling is when your walking around the streets and you hear someone singing a chorus to your song.

Just one major tip.
You can have more then 1 chorus.

Split it up a bit. If you want I can try and revise it and send it to you via pm.

i like the verses alot, especially how its worded.
but this song talks about how the person talks abt how he/she doesnt wanna talk abt the partner.

i think it'll be even better if in the end they still have feelings.