ur all crackbabies

I was walkin by this blonde and brunette ,i had a little dandruf, embarasing.. I overheard the brunette whisper to the blonde that i needed head and shoulders, the blonde said, how do u give shoulders?

A man was at the country club for his weekly round of golf. He began his round with an eagle on the first hole and a birdie on the second.

On the third hole he had just scored his first ever hole-in-one when his cell phone rang.

It was a doctor notifying him that his wife had just been in a terrible accident and was in critical condition and in the ICU.

The man told the doctor to inform his wife where he was and that the he'd be there as soon as possible. As he hung up he realized he was leaving what was shaping up to be his best ever round of golf. He decided to get in a couple of more holes before heading to the hospital.

He ended up playing all eighteen, finishing his round shooting a personal best 61, shattering the club record by five strokes and beating his previous best game by more than 10. He was jubilant.... Then he remembered his wife.

Feeling guilty he dashed to the hospital. He saw the doctor in the corridor and asked about his wife's condition.

The doctor glared at him and shouted, "You went ahead and finished your round of golf didn't you!

"I hope you're proud of yourself! While you were out for the past Four hours enjoying yourself at the country club your wife has been languishing in the ICU! It's just as well you went ahead and finished that round because it will be more than likely your last!" "For the rest of her life she will require 'round the clock care. And you'll be her care giver!"

The man was feeling so guilty he broke down and sobbed .

The doctor snickered and said, "Just fucking with you. She's dead. What'd you shoot?"

GAYYYYYYYYYY

guy:" walks in to resturaunt and is seated"
waiter: sir would you like a moment to figure what you would like?
Guy: sure
Guy:" notices forks in back pockets of all waiters"
waiter:"returns"
Guy: why do all the waiters have forks in there back pockets?
Waiter: forks are the most common droped utensile if we have one with us we dont have to go back to the kitchen
Guy: "places orde rbut also notices strings comming from there pants zipper"
waiter:" returns with food"
Guy: why do all the waiters have strings comming from pants zippers?
waiter: there tied to our dicks so we dont have to wash our hands when we pee
Guy: ohh but how do you get it back in?
waiter: i dont know how the others do it but i just use the fork

that was shit

ahahahahhaaa

hehe nice one restaurant