You are a good man sir! I will PM you a lot :)

I hope you got patience for me! :)

Thanks for the kind words, PM or post whenever you wish

i agree with this. yet dependence does not mean im giving myself up. I am giving my girl a certain power over me, as I have power over her. I find that the appropriate thing to do. I chose careful whom I grant this power over me and I can remove it IF neccessary. But I hesitate to do so.

However my main point is not whether this is better or more grown up. Im fine with whatever works for you. Im just critical if people tell others what works for them, as they cannot know.
ESPECIALLY if the guy above says: We still love each other. If this is true, then it does obviously not matter to him that much. Or he has to find out how much it matters.
Telling them excatly the opposite is imho careless. That is the point im making.

The advice is good, but that is beside the point. it is giving advice that does not limit the choices of a person that counts for me.

Advice is advice. The choice is inherent in whether you choose to follow it or not.

Disagree. It doesn't matter if they still love eachother for as long as they are in an Unhealthy relationship.

Think of love subjectively. We all love again, sometimes even way better than with our last partner. That's why you end an unhealthy relationship, that with whatever effort you made is not working into getting better.
The still loving each other part goes within my "It is what it is" statement. We love each other, but it is what it is, I got to do what I have to do to be happy/get better. And same with her.

Oh and going on the dependence thing a strong relationship consists of 2 Independent individuals that come together to enhance each others life, NOT MAKE YOU HAPPY. Only you can make yourself happy, if you can't then you are a dependent person on your partner. This can create unhealthy habits, or quite simply an unhealthy relationship.



Yes, that is the nature of advice...

Now counselling is different, it works in trying to empower someone to make their own decisions. I can do that too, but it is quite difficult online and not knowing much more about the person, etc.

This post was edited by Darkblue on Jan 19 2012 05:36pm

i agree with it. but love is a powerful motivator. If they didnt there would be no use staying. If they still love each other they have reason to change and persist. It gives you a motivation to fight for.

For sure, but I'm saying if you reach a point where things aren't working and you've tried everything you can think of + trying to take a break and it's still not working....It means that you need to seperate to grow. Perhaps in later time you'll reconnect, but for the moment it obviously isn't the right time in your lives.

Im for that. As long as people decide themselves WHEN/IF this time has come.

most of the time it has when they post here in the love line

So recently it has come to my attention that the biggest bitch of the east lives under my roof and it's stressing me out.
LIKE HOLY...ANGELINA JOLIE pissing me off. Every time I have friends over, and I do something to irritate her, she starts
rambling on in the kitchen so that I can hear it, but to my friends who don't speak my language, my mom appears to be talking
to herself. She wants everything her way, she never admits that she was wrong, she doesnt understand compassion, she's doesnt
understand the concept of socializing with her kids. She believes that if she provides food and shelter then she has fulfilled her
responsibility as a mother. In fact, I can't recall a time when we both sat down and just talked about life. WHAT DO?

This post was edited by TempoONE on Jan 22 2012 09:32am