Quote (Hooo @ Jan 3 2012 03:27am)

i agree with this. Maybe I have just a better memory, but I can still remember the holes in my heart clearly.
However what he says in dealing with it is the right way.
And which is exactly what I wrote - rewritten.
You have to accept and love yourself again.

Quote (Hooo @ Jan 3 2012 03:48am)

Not everything what I write is true. I think of writing it in such ways that the OP believes me and is better of afterwards.

Quote (irimi @ Jan 3 2012 04:15am)

I'm trolling your thread because I think it's ridiculously self-serving and narcissistic for anyone to make this thread like you did.  It's not like this forum doesn't have enough people making new threads almost daily with the problems they're having.

But no.  They have to come to your thread to ask questions because somehow you're just that much better than everyone.  Instead of it being about them and their problems, which is what it really should be, you're turning this into something about you.  The "I'll give advice for free" bit - as if anyone here expects to pay or be paid for advice - as well as the fact that you colored your thread title is just icing on the cake.

Also, I love the "I like." after the "Well said."  As if it should matter whether you like it or not.  And again, turning something that isn't about you into something that is.

Quote (Darkblue @ Jan 3 2012 09:28am)

wow...I dont know where you gather this opinion. i take it that it strikes you as selfish towards others wanting to help--such as yourself--by creating a single thread to help, but you really got it all twisted lol...so hostile out of nowhere.

Quote (Darkblue @ Jan 3 2012 09:28am)

to add on, ive had quite a few people PM, and really appreciated that they could ask or vent in PRIVACY to a confident.

Quote (Darkblue @ Jan 3 2012 09:28am)

And you are just being a jerk quite frankly.

Quote (Darkblue @ Jan 3 2012 09:28am)

i made a thread volunteering my help without any cost (therapy, IRL it can cost a lot of money so there goes your charge bit)

Quote (Darkblue @ Dec 20 2011 11:58pm)

Please don't offer advice here. I made a thread to personally help people, if you want the same make your own thread.

Quote (irimi @ Jan 3 2012 01:00am)

2 months isn't very long.  But take this opportunity to work on yourself.  Don't try to avoid or numb the pain, and definitely do *NOT* focus on looking for another girl to chase after.

I disagree with the comment saying that the pain and sorrow never disappears, or that you need to love or be loved again (by someone else) in order to bury the feelings.  You don't need to bury your feelings or to be loved by anyone - you just need to learn to love yourself.

One of the things I started learning to do back when I went through some rough times was to learn to accept pain and sorrow - to sit with it, to observe myself with it, and to let it go.  This sounds ridiculously abstract, but it's definitely something worth trying.  When you feel the pain hitting you, don't avoid it - let it flow through you and sit with it.  Learn to step out of yourself, to observe yourself as the human being as you are, and then to realize that even in your pain and sorrow, you are worthy of love and respect.

Another thing you can do is to find people who you can talk to about it.  I remember reading somewhere once that grieving needs to be seen.  Respect that it does, and find ways to make it happen with people you trust.

Last but not least - one thing I've always done in the past to deal with breakups and rejection is this: I look at it as a challenge.  The challenge is to get something out of the entire experience - to work on something inside me that I can carry on to my next experiences.  In some cases, it meant something as simple as, "I'm going to start working out again to build my health and self-confidence."  In other cases, it meant using the extra time that I had to go do things that I always wanted to do but never had time to do.  And most recently (and most importantly and beneficial of all), I used it as an opportunity to study myself and to study the idea of happiness - which included learning to accept and sit with my feelings, to accept myself, and to love myself.  It's actually thanks to those experiences - as heartbreaking as they were at the time - that I feel that I've earned the kind of wisdom that many people may never even know.