That's Waheed in his spare time (when he has time to shave)!

Episode 17. Magic Finding Finals Part 2

Maltatai: Do YOU ever get tired of the physically resistant zombie boss packs in Hell Blood Moor that makes you feel that you have entered an impossible difficulty level? Don’t YOU find those ghost-over-ghost-over-ghost-over-ghost mobs so obscenely annoying that it’s bordering the game-breaking? And would YOU not wish for a safe and sure way to make those Doom- and Oblivion Knight packs shut up and die a second time?

Want to be rid of everything bony and spectral from burning dead to Top Model contestants? Then Holy Bolt is the spell for you! Destroys all undead, regardless of immunities. Holy Bolt – when Sanctuary is too risky and elemental magic too expensive. Holy Bolt – a spell to trust. Holy Bolt – the sound of it will be music to your ears. Order today and you will get a discount at the Congregated Cleric Company which may be used within the next five…

Rödluvan: NOOOO! Begone foul sponsors! Marketing mischief and capitalistic conspiracy! Away with it!

Maltatai: …AAaand after that short note from our sponsors we continue with the last part of the magic finding finals! The Red Flames are positively burning to present their counter to the last thrilling show of the Blue Snow! Over to you, Rödluvan.

Rödluvan: Just a moment, I am soon done strafing every remaining advertising personnel…

Maltatai: OK, OK, no more advertising. Happy now?

Rödluvan: Oh, yes. My second wave of awesome loot begun with an odd little throwing knife stack. Nice enhancement. The gauntlets I found later were disgustingly white.

Snövit: Sounds beautiful.

Rödluvan: To the disgusting people, naturally. A big maul looked so cool with its skull-shaped head it was hardly believable. Even less believable was the enormous damage on a normal unique item. Wooow…

Maltatai: Commonly known as Bonesnap, yes.

Rödluvan: Moving through the Bloody Foothills I managed to cause a triple volcanic eruption – very nice fireworks hahahaa! A large charm I found ensured I would not accidently get burned by the flames.

Maltatai: Fat chance, with protagonist characters being constantly immune to their own spells…but nice charm.

Rödluvan: I can also proudly announce that the Amazon Collective has recently displayed tremendous care for its servant…employees. Telash is now wearing a most enlightening skull cap that improves his flashing.

Telash: Fear me!



Rödluvan: A pair of boots were great for running bosses for items but lacked resistances. Pity.

Had I been a French Paladin I would have been happier with that hammer. WHY do we get so much melee moron equipment and so little good bows?

And I am not a Barbarian or a Druid either…

A gem shrine provided light in the darkness.

The demonhide sash was ugly but useful.

Then, finally, a real Amazon weapon! Skystrike! It can drop meteors!

Maltatai: Nice, fast bow. But will it do enough damage?

Rödluvan: It is a bit weak. I have kept it for the speed and +skills to use for fire arrows or possibly quick lightning damage against physical/fire immunes. If I had more +skills from an amulet or circlet it would perhaps be worth more than now to get the extra speed. We’ll see. Such a shame it wasn’t Riphook or Kuko Shakaku.

A pair of demonhide gloves were also great but outdone by a more relevant one I already wear, which have increased attack speed.



In one other charm I found a little snake resting. It must have been a very strong and sustainable charm because the snake was more or less undisturbed – phew!

After another raid through the countess’ stores I was close to cubing a Lum rune!

And for the second time, I am no Barbarian, nor am I a Patriarch! But I liked the flawed topaz. It was almost as charming as the small lightning resistance charm I found.

The Iceblink was a little too late to be useful, yet it is a very interesting armour.

And now, look at those boots!

Maltatai: Good, now you can switch boots depending on what elements seem the most dangerous. That’s always good.

Rödluvan: And collect extra taxes, don’t forget that. Especially corporations and ice can look forward to a raise, hehehehehe!

Snövit: Over my melted arrows!

Rödluvan: You will have no chance against me! I have a large charm of cold resistance…

Snövit: 4%, ooooh I’m so scared! Not.

Rödluvan: And an Um Rune!

Maltatai: “blinks”

Snövit: “gasping for air” Not…fair…

Rödluvan: Taking advantage of the unusual peace and quiet around here, very nice indeed, I would like to add this lovely little ring here with life stealing and light resistance…I mean lightning resistance.

Once again I must note that I AM NOT A DRUID! They smell funny.

The long war bow had some stylish +skills but I found it too weak and slow. Still splendid skills focus by the bowyer.

Following the discovery of an unusually fine Shael rune…

Maltatai: Unusually fine? Aren’t they all the same?

Rödluvan: To the inattentive layman perhaps. Telash assured me that this rune, which was promptly inserted in a purchased blade in the normal shadow realm, is of supreme quality.

Maltatai: I see. How comforting to be reassured by such a knowledgeable, objective and unbiased source.

Rödluvan: Yes…now, early during the first test runs for Telashs new blade I found a great green War Belt! I AM NOT A BARBA…hrm, but it still never hurts to get a new perspective of things and be open to other cultures and styles, eh, hrm, hehe…

Maltatai: I am sure that modified perspective had absolutely nothing to do with the huge resistance and strength bonuses of the belt…

Rödluvan: Yes, strength bonuses! Would you like a demonstration? Perhaps a kick in the guts?

Maltatai: I’m no barrel. You can’t kick me.

Rödluvan: Nuts.

Maltatai: First guts, now nuts. Make up your mind!

Rödluvan: Fine, I spare you for now.

Maltatai: Look, there are the gauntlets of quarrelling!

Rödluvan: ???

Maltatai: Frostburn. The name can be associated with both of you, thus being a source of endless discussion and debate. Not that you need one.

Rödluvan: Thank you for the insightful comment. Now to fashion report: red is the colour of the season for boots, if you didn’t know. Someone who does know is Hsarus. AND I AM NOT A SMELLY, CLUMSY, FUR-BRAINED DRUIIIIID!!!



Maltatai: That concludes the Magic Finding Cup! I hope you have all enjoyed yourselves and your loot.

The hat medal goes to Rödluvan for the grand Grand Crown of Thieves, which is about the most stylish thing she could wear with it’s massive red life stealing.

The amulet medal goes to Snövit for finding Plague Torc, the rare medal with +skills and resistances.

The armour medal goes to Snövit for finding Hwanins armour – useful armours have otherwise been mysteriously absent lately.

The ring medal goes to Snövit for the Dwarf Star.

The belt medal goes to Snövit for Thundergods Vigor.

The weapon medal goes to Rödluvan for finding Skystrike.

The boot medal goes to Snövit for the War Traveller.

The glove medal goes to Rödluvan for the Demon Touch rare demonhide gloves.

The rune medal goes to Rödluvan for her obscene luck of getting both a Lem and an Um rune.

The charm (for finding charms, NOT for being charming) medal goes to Snövit for the 30% Ruby Grand charm of Greed (30% fire resistance of course. I can’t believe anyone would ask about this).

The best mercenary equipment medal goes to Rödluvan for making both a Lore hat and a Crescent Moon sword for Telash.

And the overall winner…

Snövit: Yes?

Rödluvan: Me?

Snövit: Me?

Maltatai: …seems to be Rödluvan at the moment due to her fantastic luck with the runes but the coming trials in the form of fierce battles with the evil legions of evil and the even more evil ancients will decide.

Snövit: WHAT!?

Rödluvan: And what does the winner get? All the loot of the loser, perhaps?

Maltatai: The winner…survives and will be immortalized in eternal glory.

Snövit: So the winner of the Cup is the one who succeeds in slaughtering the last of the incompetent sauerkraut-for-brains demons of Baal?

Rödluvan: HA! Easily done!

Telash: Exactly! Woohooo! Right!

Maltatai: What’s up with him?

Rödluvan: It is some sort of after effect of the overjoying experience of receiving the Crescent Moon sword. Do you know how unusual it is for an untwinked Act 3 mercenary to get such a piece of gear? Not to mention to be hired at all in the first place…Oh, I guess you do, you seem quite knowledgeable of this world despite never appearing here. Telash has been even more mad than usual ever since he got to try out that new lightning conductor.

Telash: Lightning conductor?! What?! How dare you insult my supreme weapon like that? I’ll have you know that this blade is rune-o-matic
It’s systematic
It’s hydromatic (on second thought it isn’t, water should not be mixed with lightning spells)
I conjure greased lightning!

We’ll get some overseer lifters and some four arrow strafe, oh yeah
I keep talking, whoa, keep talking
Foe intestine cutoffs and chrome plated hilt, oh yeah
I get the money, I kill to get the money
With the Ancients on the floor, loot be waiting through the door
You know from just this bit, Snowy Hag will have a fit from greased lightning
Spell spell spell spell spell spell spell spell spell spell

Rödluvan: Hahahahaha!

Snövit: Snowy Hag!?

Telash: Go greased lightning, you’re burning up the demon Baal
Greased lightning, go greased lightning
Go greased lightning, you’re flashing through the heat lap trial
Greased lightning, go greased lightning
I am supreme, the chicks’ll scream for greased lightning

Rödluvan: You have been more effective lately but don’t overdo it, ok?

Telash: I’ll get some purple royal mantle and thirty inch crown, oh yeah
Olympic mountain penthouse and dual blondie twins, oh yeah
With new arcs and bolts and shocks I can get off my rocks
You know that I ain’t bragging, on the house you’ll get your flagon
Greased lightning
Flash flash flash flash flash flash flash flash flash

Go greased lightning, you’re burning every Prime Evil
Greased lightning, go greased lightning
Go greased lightning, you’re putting Tyrael to trial
Greased lightning, go greased lightning
I am supreme, every chick dream of greased lightning
Bolt bolt bolt bolt bolt bolt bolt bolt bolt

Rödluvan: Now hold up there! I do not DREAM of your lightning spells!

Snövit: What the heck has gotten into your collective?

Maltatai: Keeping with the Greek lightning god delusions of grandeur theme I think “hubris” is the correct diagnosis. Well, you’ll have an interesting in front of you, Rödluvan. Just don’t rely too much on a stealthy approach to monsters.

Rödluvan: …

Maltatai: Just a thought. I could be wrong, of course, but I think it might be hard with that singing bird behind you.

Rödluvan: Can’t we talk about something else?

Maltatai: Like what?

Rödluvan: I don’t know. Rabbits.

Maltatai: Rabbits?

Rödluvan: Small, furry creatures with large ears.

Maltatai: I know what rabbits are! What about them?

Rödluvan: How come they manage to survive unharmed in the middle of a battlefield with bloodthirsty demons on all sides and fiery arrows flying all over the place?

Snövit: Yes, they are totally immune to magic! Even stuff that is close to the ground like miss socialist’s volcano.

Maltatai: I don’t know. Obviously some hidden power. Perhaps a bit like Khalim, whose body parts proved indestructible for the Zakarum church – just like the barbarians never manage to grill the few rabbits they manage to kill despite holding them over their fires day and night.

Rödluvan: I actually saw this rabbit superpower manifest itself once. It looked a bit like the boons from the protective shrines. Maybe it is the rabbits who have built them all?



Maltatai: I’m afraid I don’t know who this mysterious Alice is either. I shall have to look it up. I’ll ask around among cooperative rockers and dibbling vicars.


This post was edited by Maltatai on Dec 11 2016 03:58am

Episode 18. The Nightmare Ends

Maltatai: As the sounds of grumpy muttering and coffee being made fades from the retirement home on the peak two heroines and two supportive sidekicks emerge from the dust and snow of the Worldstone keep. Proudly and arrogantly swaggering through the cheering streets (all four of them) of Harrogath they relax and breathe out of relief from having saved the world from this nightmarish nightmare.

Snövit: And then the storyteller realises that they actually stand right in front of him.

Rödluvan: And that he has really made a fool of himself by making such a melodramatic scene setting when the rest of the episode will end up in a mess of bickering and banter as ususal.

Maltatai: Hey! What self-awareness, quite unexpected. You look quite happy both of you. Would you like to share the good news you have perhaps received or experienced?

Snövit: The grumpy old fossils are down and so is Baal! Now I can travel back to Lut Gholein and buy the town as well as get serious with Meshif!

Rödluvan: And I can establish a collective federation of Amazons in the now deserted northlands. The barbarians could surely use some of our enlightening public education!

Maltatai: How was the journey to this magnificent conquests? Would you like to start telling, mighty conqueror Rödluvan?

Rödluvan: In mighty but light red battle gear I went to hell (where Meshif had not told me to go, hehe) to prebuff Fade by one of the braziers in the River of Flame. Ouch, need more absorbing gear. The demons and beast fled for me and the fury burning in my eyes. The sky, or at least the cave roof, rained lightning and the earth trembled.

Maltatai: Now who’s melodramatic?

Rödluvan: Well, maybe the leaf or the conifer cone or perhaps the wind. It depends on who is the storyteller. It can be anyone, really.

Snövit: ???

Maltatai: ???

Rödluvan: Just a funny thing a Hydra Sorceress told me about once. Anyway, Madawc the Mongrel was teleporting but not very often. I guess senility has made him forget to use his powers now and then. Korlic the Coconut-head was spectral hitting. Talic the Teabags-for-Brains was extra fast so he must have finished all his tea and only had extra strong coffee to drink lately. All were old and grumpy and complaining about younger generations and their presumed ineptness. Everything was better in my time this and what has the world turned into that and the youth of today blah blah blah…

I ran down southwest to split the enemy up in a sly and cunning way. It did not work because the old-timers had some kind of obsession with crossbows. As soon as I had Langer Briser in my hands they ignored pretty much everything else and came for me. OK, I know I don’t look too shabby but hey, hit on someone of your own age! Born in the same millennium at least… The volcanic wrath of Pompeii slowed them a bit and I was never really in any great danger. Even Telash could tank Korlic for quqite some time before needing a rejuvie – the only potion spent apart from three mana potions. All in all an embarrassing fail for the retirement home.

Maltatai: Excellent!

Rödluvan: Once inside the keep I found signs of intelligent life even on this remote world. Rödluvan to the base – the explorer team has located intelligent stair planning with the stairs actually built close to each other!



Maltati: While we’re dwelling on the subject, how were the antiquities when you faced them, Snövit?

Snövit: Since I have not yet gotten a battle gear armour or hat I wore around 200% magic finding when facing them. On the way to the summit meeting it proved worthwhile when a golden Zweihander dropped (it is by the way an incorrect name: the two-handed swords were called bidenhänder rather than zweihänder in renaissance Germany)! With it in my hands I could enchant our weapons! Not much damage but lovely 100%-ish attack rating bonus! Only thing was…it turned all the weapons red.

Rödluvan: Hahahaha! I always knew you secretly wanted to be me!

Snövit: I did not and do! Korlic was obsessed with me too. I guess he was just jealous of my skill with a halberd. Man, it feels GOOD to swing away with that thing, which I had socketed and Shael:ed the same day. Korlic was stone skinned and immune to physical. Duh, big deal… Madawc had a blessed aim aura but he really would have needed a blessed intelligence one because he never managed to get in position properly to aim. Talic was extra fast now as well. He’s a real addict. Old fossiles who can’t get through the day without regular cup of coffee – is there anything more pathetic?



I also got QUITE a great map for the second level of the Worldstone keep. Beat that, Rödluvan! The third was also good. At the red basement I faced an outrageous stairtrap! Minotaurs…no sense of decency or style. Baals minions were not too much of a trouble, only the second and third wave threatened to destroy my valkyrie. I felt a bit sorry for the poor fallen ones under Colenzo, who had to endure seeing his whole pack melt. Achmel was disgusting and his poison aura seemed to linger even after he was dead. Weird. The hydras were disturbingly strong but the venom lords laughable. Demonic ice cream, anyone? The same goes for the minions of not-too-much-destruction. I’m such an artist, I create sculptures in the middle of battle!



Rödluvan: I found the minions of destruction equally pathetic, hardly even putting a dent into my valkyries armour. The venom lords and their inferno were harder on her, though. But then, it is after all a fire attack and fire is, as everyone knows, dangerous compared to cold or poison or other less important resists.

Snövit: But for the enemy it is an entirely different matter!

Rödluvan: I owned them with strafe mainly. Open wounds RUUUULE!

Maltatai: Yes, I am growing fonder of it every time I play with a wounding character.

This post was edited by Maltatai on Dec 14 2016 12:01pm

Rödluvan: Baal took some time since I lack crushing blow (must get it, red and useful) and Telash doesn’t swing his sword enough to process the static field. Eventually he passed out and away. 20+ % life stealing is REALLY nice to have. I do miss weaken charges from a Smoke armour. Hope I’ll get one in the future. Then, AFTER everything was secure, the heavenly h@x0r and completely clumsy corroded-rust-for-brains Arch-moron appeared…five and a half metres south of my location looking at the wall. How can anyone entrust even a broken paperbag to this dunghead?



Snövit: We were both, as heretical and blasphemous as it may sound, approaching Tyrael in a coordinated and cooperating manner. The dumb sod was obviously terrified of our rightful wrath but tried to hide it under his usual serene and pompous voice. We asked…

Rödluvan: Roared, I think.

Snövit:…roared how he could miss the whole damned stone that takes up the whole east side of the bridge and why he didn’t send someone more accurate if he has such aiming trouble. The fool responded that he would not entrust the sacred mission to anyone of less faith and religious incorruptibility and purity.

Rödluvan: In a shorter, more concise version: He wanted all the glory for himself.

Snövit: Precisely. We spent some more time making sure it was clear exactly what we thought of him and what we had had to go through because the idiot missed last time. Tyrael finally promised to do better this time and opened his portal into “safety”.

Rödluvan: But we did of course not use it, being created by that clot. It would probably have led right into a dark abyss or a giant barrel filled with spinach. Instead we took a town portal each back to Harrogath and then back home to the Amazon Islands.

Snövit: But first we stopped to go through the loot and demon corpses. I found myself some VERY nice BLUE gloves from Baals wardrobe. Funny how someone so disgusting keeps such stylish clothing. I had Larzuk personalize them, so they are now “Snövit’s Laying Of Hands”. Enourmously fashionable!



Rödluvan: I modified them a little…

Maltatai: What? How?

Snövit: Pfeh! She means her immature prank of pasting a piece of cloth with the words “soon to be felt by Meshif” on them.

Rödluvan: Which is totally correct.

Snövit: Be that as it may, I still think it’s ridiculous. By the way, shall we start with the Soul Killers?

Rödluvan: That will be excellent. Could you pass the sauce and the pepper, please?

Maltatai: Soul Killers? And polite requests???

Rödluvan: Ehrm, yes. We are temporarily out of jokes about each other so we have made a truce for now. And to celebrate our victory and the end of this horrible nightmare one needs a grand feast! So we thought about all those demon corpses lying around being useless. The Soul Killers which we both encountered are just the right size for being impaled on a spike – Waheed is great at that – and roasted over the fire. I will of course handle the roasting while Snövit takes care of the cool drinks and the dessert. Telash is setting up the lamps and light and lightning. It will be excellent!

Snövit: I sent Deckard Cain with an invitation to Meshif too. He should be here any time!

Maltatai: Wow, I’ve never heard of a waypoint on the Amazonian Islands!

Rödluvan: Come on, you know they’re everywhere! One can consider oneself fortunate not to discover one in ones bedroom. Those Horadrim really are one trespassing and nosy bunch of magi. Oh, look! There’s our guests!

Snövit: Aaaaah! Must get my new gloves! How does my armour look? Is the ponytail allright?

Rödluvan: I would start with checking my breathing if were you. Calm down, you look fine. Except for needing to change colours but we can talk about that later. Now to the grand fireworks of red and blue and white arrows we have prepared! We’ll set it off as soon as the Worldstone is down. Should be anytime now.

Snövit: What’s that rumbling sound?

Maltatai: It seems to come far from the north. About the direction in which Mount Arreat lies…I think it is high time to destroy that corrupted stone now…

Distant voice: Come on Tyrael, you can do it…nobody else must be allowed to get the glory…breathe out, aim and AWAY!!!

Rödluvan: There’s more rumbling! And I can hear a foul demonic voice laughing in the distance!

Distant voice: NO! Darn it, missed again! Oookay, nobody saw it. Now, I just need to find my sword and try again, where is it...I know it went down somewhere here…

Distant foul demonic voice: BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!

Snövit: It can’t be! He can’t have…

Rödluvan: The…the thing is huge! It covers your whole view! How can you…

Maltatai: It seems he…missed it again…oh dear, look at that swirling mass of black oblivion coming this way! Take cover!

Snövit: Meshif!

Rödluvan: The feast!

Maltatai: Over and out!

Episode 19. Welcome to Hell

Maltatai: Ah, hello. It’s nice to see you all here. Now, as the more perceptive of you probably realised by now, this is hell…and I am the author, good evening…but you can call me the single Malt if you like. We try to keep things informal here as well as infernal…that’s just a little joke. I tell it every time. Now, you’re all here for…eternity, oh…which I hardly need tell you is a heck of a long time. So you’ll all get to know each other pretty well by the end. But for know I’m going to have to split you up into groups – will you stop screaming! Thank you. Now, murderers…assassins over here please…thank you. Looters and pillagers – find item Barbarians – here…Thieves, if you could join them – converting Paladins – and attract/confuse Necromancers you’re in that lot too! Fornicators, if you could step forward…my goodness there are lot you! Aah, can I split you up into casters and the rest? Druids, if you could just form a line in front of that small fallen with a scimitar in the corner.

Aah, the Amazons, are you here? If you’d just like to come down here with the rogues…I’m sure you have plenty to talk about! Ok, aaahem…mercenaries, mercenaries over here please. Cleverly serving only “temporarily” “for money”…you must be feeling a right bunch of nitwit. And finally Zakarumites. Zakarumites…ah yes I’m sorry, I’m afraid the heretics were right. If you could step forth here that would be really fine. Ok, right, well, are there any questions?

Yes? No, I’m afraid we don’t have any toilets at all available here or anywhere. If you’d read your game manual you might have seen that it was damnation without relief. So if you didn’t go before you came then I’m afraid you are not going to enjoy yourself very much…but then I believe that’s the idea. Ok, well it’s over to you Diablo, and I’ll catch you all later at the barbeque. Bye.

Rödluvan: I can’t believe it! Have you defected to the foul demonic side?

Snövit: Wit is the path to the dark side. Wait a second, is it?

Maltatai: Of course not! I am myself, thank you very much, and this is the introduction to the veritable hell you two have had the misfortune to end up in. I found an inspiring text entitled “A Warm Welcome” written by someone called “Toby”. It was hidden in a small forest of rowan by the village of Atkinsington. Maybe Toby wrote the mouldy tome as well?

In any case, the situation looks as bad as it seems. And it seems as bad as it looks. The seams of your quivers looks to be unravelling too…

Rödluvan: Bah, these useless bolt quivers! A bolt is SMALLER than an arrows. How can bolt quivers be containing FEWER projectiles than arrow quivers? It doesn’t make sense.

Snövit: So this is yet another, EVEN WORSE, reversal to the starting point caused by the energies of the last Worldstone which was corrupted by Baal because Tyrael missed it?

Maltatai: Yes. And being an even worse stone – due to the first missing and the following corruption of the world turning it into a nightmare – the added corruption by the nightmarish Baal has turned the world even worse if that can be imagined.

Rödluvan: It can! Immune monsters, enemy leaders with three enhancements each, massive drops in resistance that can barely be compensated for even with full battle gear…Aaaaah!

Snövit: We encountered trouble right outside the gates of the rogue camp. I can’t believe how hardy the zombies have gotten! The poison damage and fire from the Kuko Shakaku is really handy on these occasions. As is the enchant charges from the Todesfaelle Flamme. I actually found a second such sword in the Col Plains, but with more charges which saved thousands of gold pieces for me!

Maltatai: Neat. Can you afford the cost of using that thing regularly?

Snövit: Yes! With the gold from dwarf star and occasional picking up of items for bonus cash it almost always evens out or even ends up with some profit. With three charges, repairs and buying potions and scrolls my company needs to assemble around 10 000 gold in 360 seconds. It’s quite manageable. I was a bit sceptical to all this “sustainable development” talk but there are sound economical thinking involved too after all.

Maltatai: Three charges? Did I really hear that?

Snövit: What? Oh, come on! Honestly, I’m not nearly as selfish as some may have slandered. Both Waheed and the valkyrie get their charge as well. The damage is of course pathetic but the attack rating rules.

Rödluvan: I’m impressed, Snövit. There may yet be some hope for you.

Maltatai: For someone in hell you both seem healthy. How far have you got into it and how has it worked out?

Snövit: We have rescued Cain the Senile and claimed the waypoints up to the Dark Wood and the marshes next to it. The fallen ones melt before me and my mighty gloves of demon slaying but the big hairy apes are troublesome. Since I have dropped Cleglaws I have no knockback and that is a big disadvantage when facing ape bosspacks. Waheed is sadly underequipped but the fearsome mask works decently. But I am NOT going to wear it. It lacks the resistances I need. And I would like some +skill levels too on a hat.

Rödluvan: Naturally. That is of course the whole explanation.

Maltatai: The hideous looks have obviously nothing to do with it whatsoever. How did you handle the fire immune fallen ones, Rödluvan? They must be troublesome with no corpse control.

Rödluvan: It works all right actually. My upgraded Langer Briser and venom is so powerful I can shoot them down faster than the shamans raise them up and the knockback ensures some control of the field. Because of my lack of +skills, strafe has become my main attack except against small, tightly packed mobs and physically resistant foes.

Maltatai: Why not have a full review of equipment and skills?

Rödluvan: Because it’s boring, overly technical and not really relevant before the end. And because you requested it.

Snövit: lol.

Rödluvan: But I’m still a generous one, so here it is:



Maltatai: Zzzzzz…

Rödluvan: I TOLD you it would be boring!

Maltatai: Huh? Oh, right…and how about you, Snövit?

Snövit:



Rödluvan: Zzzzzzz…

Maltatai: Yaaawn…great. Now the formalities are done and everyone will know just how dangerous the hellish path through this hell will be. The thrilling suspense will reach to the skies I am sure.

Here are some of the lucky finds Rödluvan managed to confiscate under the pretext of taxation, some of the more irritating foes and a picture of the well-known tourist attraction of Tristram:



Snövit: Speaking of Tristram, we actually told Akara straight away that we should go and rescue Cain immediately but it was like talking to a painting!

Rödluvan: The old hag did not even pretend to be listening. I guess this resetting of the world has been to much of a shock for her mind, or maybe Andariel decided to forgo the usual corruption spell and instead cast “Amplify Senility” on her.

Maltatai: Undoubtly. Surely she would have listened to good advice otherwise and been able to alter the plans. Over and out.

This post was edited by Maltatai on Dec 16 2016 09:51am

wall of text
i only check dem pix

gieb more pics, less text

Each to their own. But this isn't a wall of text, it is formatted and broken up with pictures, I'd like to point out This forum sorely need a spoiler function, though.

Expect to get the first half of what you request...

This post was edited by Maltatai on Dec 16 2016 01:24pm

one of the best WT. n1 keep going.