Episode 14. Magic Finding Race 1

Maltatai: Welcome, welcome to the first rally of the Nightmare Magic Finding Cup, the well known frantic looting and cubing and gambling spree before moving on to he…more difficult challenges! First out is Rödluvan who has covered a lot of ground in Act V! Rödluvan, how goes the looting and questing?

Rödluvan: Actually, better than ever! First, I have at last found a four-socket gothic plate, those legendary farming outfits. I did of course put only three topazes in it and added a perfect ruby for the colour. Totally gorgeous! Look!



Maltatai: Stylish, stylish, I agree. It must feel great to finally get to use those gems.

Rödluvan: Later I also bought a jewellers crown with three sockets, where I have put two more topazes, with another one soon to come. Queen of magic finding and style I will be! I also have found the Grand Crown of Thieves – excellent or collectiong taxes in both coin and blood from capitalistic demons! With the new luck I raided Andariels wardrobes and cupboards back at the monastery. I found the excellent little piece of cutlery known as Spineripper and…stop drooling! What is it with you and this dagger?

Maltatai: Ignores Target Defence AND Prevent Monster Heal…in one weapon…and good damage…

Rödluvan: Yes it is rather neat. I also found an icy blue hatchet which I of course sold, as well as a white Brandistock that steals blood. White bloodsucker and leach…sounds like Snövit.

Snövit: I heard you, you miserly maniac!

Rödluvan: Speaking of the witch, and speaking of which, I also found a mask crafted exactly in resemblance of Snövit! It was almost scary to behold. It’s a stark contrast to this lovely red jewel of fervor that I am thinking of putting into my crown if I decide to have it socketed.



Snövit: I do not look like that!

Rödluva: It even has blue horns to amplify the similarity.

Snövit: There is no similarity! You must have picked up a mirror and looked into it. That would truly be a horrifying sight!

Maltatai: Think of me then, who has to watch both of you…

Rödluvan and Snövit: What!?

Maltatai: As I was just going to ask, did you do any questing, Rödluvan?

Rödluvan: Yeah, beat Shenk and freed the trapped morons and such. And Anya has STILL not learned to get proper clothes for this cold or enough politeness to stay and thank me or let me go in her portal! She’s a total brat! I have at least picked up this large and padded armour. Maybe Nihlatak wanted to save her to make a giant Bratwurst to celebrate his victory? Nilly was worrying but I managed to lure out enough minions to sneak in through a small passage at the south and got myself to a clear corner. From there he was soon toast.

Maltatai: Bratwurst, toast? Any special reason for this sudden fixation with food?

Rödluvan: Well, there just isn’t very much to eat on those vast steppes and the city supplies taste like wood. The demon meat tastes like murky, rotten wood.

Maltatai: I never knew you had eaten that. The diet of the Amazonian Islands is really fascinating.

Rödluvan: A figure of speak, of course! And once I at last found a decent restaurant it just had to be closed for the season! Aaaargh!



Maltatai: Closed for the season?

Rödluvan: Yes, it seems to only be open (or rather only serving food because it was literally open since the doors were hacked apart) during the non-siege season.

Maltatai: I see. I shall file a complaint to the heavenly travel agency.

Rödluvan: Yeah, you do that. Any reason to kick Tyraels nether parts is a good reason. I am also proud to report significant improvements in my – our – collective education and enlightment programme. Lot’s of enlightment is brought to the uneducated and unappreciating masses by Telash. There is truly an intellectual darkness obscuring these illiterate lands and underground, but not too dark for my eyes to penetrate to let me strafe down targets out of sight, muahahahaha!




This post was edited by Maltatai on Dec 3 2016 12:41pm

Maltatai: Have you gained much experience then, from all this educative (such foul words we’re using…) enlightment?

Rödluvan: Oh yes! I actually once cleared the repopulated area close to Harrogath on /players8 just to try it out. It worked all right, as I wore full battle gear. Blood for the blood goddess!



Skulls for the skull throne!



Maltatai: Indeed a worship-inspiring sight…The icy minons of Baal here must be quite good targets for your explosions. How far have you pushed into the Barbarian lands?

Rödluvan: I have claimed every waypoint up to the Ancients Way. I will probably stay to level and equip up a bit more before facing them. I have heard that Talic is especially despicable for fire-users.

Maltatai: Eugh, don’t mention his name! You are totally correct. Did you find anything useful in Act V, or have you just looted Andys storerooms?

Rödluvan: I actually took a peek in the Tower too. I have now assembled three Io runes, just a flawed topaz from having everything required to upgrade to elite weapon! Speaking of runes, a very pleasant surprise awaited me on the icy floor of the Ancients Way:



Maltatai: Nice one! Treachery beckons? And new battle gear boots I see.

Rödluvan: I think so. Another option would perhaps be Passion in a good elite bow if I could get my hands on one. The blinding and scare effect would mean terrific and terrifying crowd control with strafe. And I already have knockback too from cleglaws pincers. But that may leave me a bit short on damage against fire/physically resistant and immune enemies, which are quite common. Baals minions of destruction spring to mind.

Maltatai: Another option may be to make a melee Passion weapon and take advantage of Berserk, since you have a shield and such high Penetrate skill.

Rödluvan: Berserk? But that is…white. Never!

Maltatai: Just a thought. You already have three element so it may not be necessary. Nice ring by the way, are you thinking of using it along with Venom?

Rödluvan: I was, but Poison Dagger will only give short of three seconds duration - far too short. Maybe javelins with poison javelin charges but that isn’t really me.

Maltatai: No, don’t go there. I can’t edit the thread title so you‘ll have to stay bowazons. Will you upgrade Langer Briser when that time comes?

Rödluvan: Tricky. It IS slow, but it has open wounds and lightning damage and going crossbow-ing is something that is less common and different from Snövit. It’s a great weapon in nightmare with its magic find and I have grown attached to it. Upgraded and with Venom added it will certainly be enough for all that comes but what if I should find a better weapon?

Maltatai: The eternal question and dilemma. Or why not upgrade Spineripper?

Rödluvan: Ha! You and your precious Spiney.

Maltatai: It is cool to be a daggerzon too and you did really well against Diablo. Perhaps a path to consider if you find Goblin Toe at least? Fire from distance, physical from melee range?

Rödluvan: “clears throat” Meaning that I should go up to fire enchanted enemies and melee them?

Maltatai: Hrm, that may be a bit of a drawback…At least you have quite some levels left to find a new bow or crossbow and other stuff, being in the mid-sixties.

Rödluvan: I don’t look…like…old, do I?

Maltatai: No, not a level above 64, I promise you.

Rödluvan: Why you…

Maltatai: Relax! You look as young as when you first appeared out of nowhere in the normal Rogue Camp without even a bow.

Rödluvan: Hrm, was just wondering.

Maltatai: Next episode will be about the exploits of Snövit and the loot with which she hopes to trump Rödluvan and (other, according to her) hellish creatures.

Episode 15 Magic Finding Race 2

Maltatai: In this second part of the first round of looting we will take a look at (surprise) the progress of Snövit!

Snövit: You already said that at the end of the last episode.

Maltatai: I’m just making a suitable introduction which fits into the style of the story.

Snövit: I see. Then it’s understandable.

Maltatai: How are the northern realms?

Snövit: Bad. The bloody foothills greeted me with super-speeded foul crows with the worst oral hygiene known to humans since Fraxlus the Foul-Mothed Mojomancer!

Maltatai: Who on earth is that?

Snövit: Nobody. Just a funny name invented to underline the troublesomeness of the foul crows. In my frustration I even turned to higher powers for guidance and prayed at a gem shrine. I was rewarded with a gleaming yellow little stone. A topaz, don’t get it the wrong way. I’m not Marius. A bit further into the foothills I found a really splendid druid helm – no wonder that the alpha male or female becomes pack leader if wearing such lovely blue!



Far more useful to me was a charming charm of cold resistance. Cold, obviously the mightiest element since I specialize in it, is something you really should protect yourself from. Shenk felt the cold of my mighty arrows along with immolation arrow, which was fun to try out.

Maltatai: Still Snövit Bluefoot I see.

Snövit: Bah! But no longer! I have finally conquered a farming plate – meaning of course socketed gothic plate – and now wear the most stylish armour imaginable. Watch and be amazed by the style and grace.



Maltatai: A question spring to mind – are you now feeling blue, wearing that armour?

Snövit: Of course not! How can you feel anything else than great in such outfit?

Maltatai: Ask Rödluvan…Hmmm, how about if I should switch your armours some day, and you would wake up with a red plate…

Snövit: Don’t even think about it!

Maltatai: It’s probably no danger ‘cause my GoMule doesn’t work. Can’t seem to find out what’s wrong. But you’re going untwinked so it’s OK anyway. How about looting for your part?

Snövit: It’s been interesting but not great. I actually found the mask…

Rödluvan: Ha! I knew it! Looks just like you, doesn’t it?

Snövit: Go play in mud pool, you pig…No it didn’t suit me but Waheed wears it. The strength bonus will be nice for him and the scare effect is actually useful sometimes since he has ranged support from a certain someone. Then I raided Eldricht, with Peace equipped, and got a nice little golden ring. But not the puny little Nagelring or Manald Heal of Rödluvan, but Dwarf Star! Money, money, money!



Later I rescued some Barbarians who had a very stupid captor, having locked himself up along with his prisoners. With such stupid guards, it is a wonder they hadn’t escaped by themselves already, especially since they had the ability to cast a townportal!

Maltatai: Who knows, maybe the door was a magic seal that made it impossible to leave the rickety fence?

Snövit: Come on, how far-fetched can you get?

Maltatai: Just trying my best. You need this kind of benevolent and generous imagination if you try to write fan fiction of games. Especially ones with such shallow storytelling and quests as Diablo II.

Snövit: From one thing to another; you know about those little gateways to small hellish isles in the middle of seas of flame?

Maltatai: Yes, those are quite hard to explain too. Are they some kind of vacation programme for the demons, to warm up between the work days in the cold northlands? Like, direct lines to small vacation islands that are normally connected to the Chaos Sanctuary by boat- and airlines? Infernal Airlines – always hellish and infernally bad service?

Snövit: Maybe. Isn’t there something like that in your world, Maltatai?

Maltatai: Yes! You’re right! It’s called Ryanair. But what about these burning isles?

Snövit: I have now confirmed that Rödluvan is indeed a fiery demon and creature from hell. I have pictures to prove it!

Rödluvan: What the [where Snövit belongs] is this?

Maltatai: Let’s see then.



Rödluvan: YOU DESPICABLE FOUL FLAYERHEADED TAINTEDMOUTHED STYGIAN SUCCUBUS! LIES! SLANDER!

Maltatai: What the…must be some psychological warfare from Baal, trying to sow dissent or something among the enemy. As if more of that would be needed…

Snövit: Hahahahahahihihihihi!

Malatatai: Very funny. Do you have any more escapades to share?

Snövit: Yes, I got a shield that may be good if I have to stand too close to Rödluvan. Are the barbarians called so for having barbs? I mean Barb-arian! Or maybe it’s from Bar-barian? But they don’t deserve that name, because their tavern or restaurant when I arrived too! Boo! I’m gonna buy the place myself and show how it’s supposed to be done.



Maltatai: Nice boots. All white, and maybe enough bonuses to be viable along with the belt?

Snövit: Yeah, maybe. Resists are a little low but life stealing is really nice to have. My radar has been working so badly until I got some life stealing. And I can’t believe how anyone, even that red hag, could find this lovely axe ugly? It’s excellent. Sad I’m not an axezon.

Maltatai: Just an axe-zone, with that and Woestave next to you…

Snövit: Oh, how lame we are today, apparently. Except me, who is cool. As cool as the maxed, if unsynergised, Frozen Arrow I now have! Fear me!

Maltatai: Fear, fear, shudder, shudder. Have you got to the Ancients Way too, now?

Snövit: No. I got stuck at Pindleskin. I happen to own and rule at running him, except when the bugger spawns cold enchanted. Bloody copyright infringement!



He must think I’m a carrot-headed, shambling bearheaded clot…

Maltatai: Also known as druid, yes…

Rödluvan: But that charm is totally you – cold and poisonous. A pestilence of the world.

Maltatai: In any case, a potentially useful charm, two seconds longer duration than the poison charm you had before.

Snövit: Exactly! I have started experimenting with Multishot, it can be quite useful in open fields where enemies spread out. A few volleys now and then will help Waheed and my valkyrie tremendously by stopping enemy healing.

Maltatai: Woestave, Dwarf Star, Multishot and Magic Arrow. Inspired by someone?

Snövit: Allright, I may be a tiny bit of a fan of Livexia. So what? She’s cool.

Maltatai: And very scary to play. DO be a bit easier than that, please. Be back next time to find out if Snövit finally will get some high runes and Rödluvan another bow. Over and out.

Click on the health and mana orbs so we can see life and mana

Good progress. Will you join up for hell or keep playing separate?

It's a good idea but unfortunately the pics are taken already. But I will include a couple of lists to mention total life and mana so you will get the general idea of health. Right now it seems a bit far-fetched that the antagonists (they are not protagonists, they are antagonists because they bicker so much) would ever become friendly to one another but we shall see...

Episode 16. Magic Finding Finals Part 1

Maltatai: Aaaaandlookattheoffensivepowerandtherewecanseethenewtacticbythebluesnowteamsteamcaptainwhatapowerdisplayandtheyscoooore!

Snövit: What are you doing?

Maltatai: Just trying to adapt to all the sports commentary that abound in the outer realm, with the Olympic games going on and such.

Snövit: Meaning…talking absurdly quick in order to squeeze as much comments into the reporting as possible, resulting in a messy nonsense containing more of the reporters views and opinions than what is actually going on in the contest?

Maltatai: Precisely. You are well acquainted with the job I hear. But I suppose the archery contests should prove interesting?

Rödluvan: Yes! But, meh…What meekly challenges, just shooting without having to dodge enemy projectiles, switch between different arrows and other skills and aiming at stationary targets! Quite laughable. And boring. If that is possible at the same time, hmm?

Snövit: Ha! So much for your enlightening free mass education programme!

Maltatai: Now show how it’s supposed to be done by enlightening us about your glimmering treasure findings.

Snövit: Glimmering it is! Glimmering shimmering swimmering in jewels! But it wasn’t so good, just 10 resist all. Still, may be useful in some situation.

Rödluvan: Material girl in a material difficulty level. Meshif better watch out for that golddigger.

Maltatai: Heh, you have a point since Snövit is wearing the chance guards and has the dwarf star to add even more.

Snövit: You slandering moron! I never dig for gold. I’m a capitalist – I take over the money from the monsters that dug it up!

Rödluvan: I rest my case.

Maltatai: What else did you find?

Snövit: A large axe that had a metallic voice shouting orders to me about doing push ups and standing in useless and unpractical formations on the town squares. Weird and useless in a real battle situation.

A short blade that wouldn’t look out of place in an arena. I wonder if the Barbarians I sold it to ever will arrange some contests among themselves too once this mess is over? Olympic slayi…fencing?

Maltatai: Actually there is fencing among the Olympic games, but it is a total joke. Not even real practise swords, just metal splinters that bend as soon as they make contact. Pathetic and not entertaining. With all the protection the participants wear, they could easily manage to fence with the real practise thing!

Snövit: Halberds would be cool too. I could join with Woestave. Every opponent would surely freeze in terror once hit, hehehee! I saw a nice little suit of armour at the Chaos Sanctuary. Pretty colour, but too little protection. The name is certainly worthy of me – Heavenly Garb for a heavenly babe!

Now, some sort of weird treasure god seems to have aparticularly twisted sense of humor or just bad eyes. I am not a PALADIN!



But then, those boots! Ooooh! Sooo stylish! Hahaa, I have the ultimate economy power with them and Chance guards. Now I would just need a Lem rune to make a wealthy armour too, and a second dwarf star or Nagelring.

Maltatai: Maybe even viable as main boots, if you can manage the resistances with other gear?

Snövit: Yeah, maybe. Kuko Shakaku is certainly low on the physical damage side. A nice little charm makes me even more charming and able to resist the indoctrinating “enlightenment” of the political socialist propaganda of Rödluvan. And I am NOT a Paladin!

Picture of snövits plundering

Snövit: Moving on, I have a crushing mace to crack open cocnuts back home but not much use for it otherwise I think – I’m no weapon-and-shield girl. And more of this religious nonsense! I am NOT A FREAKING PALADIN!

Then I found the spineripper too.

Maltatai: Y…

Snövit: NO, I will not upgrade it and become a daggerzon. Any Pul I get my hands on will go to the bow I use! So keep your mouth closed.

Using a lot of trips to the normal shadow realm and back I managed to make the path down to Mephistos storerooms look much shorter than before. Wooo! And WHAT A BELT I got down there!!!

Maltatai: Ooh, pretty. Should drive the scarabs nuts. And maybe you can use the lightning attacks against particularly immune foes, but don’t overdo it. The vitality should be welcome by the way, because you are a bit low on life, below 800.

Snövit: Yes, I feel much strengthened when wearing that thing. But not quite enough to wield the interesting French maul here. It would have been nice to be able to curse Rödluvan. And the ancients, of course.

The next piece of loot gave me a bit of a dilemma. Go for a one hand slowing weapon? Shields are after all useful and you can socket shining white diamonds in them. But not, what flail could possibly rival the epic power and hot looks of an amazon with a halberd?

Maltatai: Could not have said it better myself.

Snövit: The tusk of some demon was an interesting weapon I say!

Maltatai: Yeah, that thing has a very odd collection of mods. Could be really useful, though.

Snövit: And so, the totally fabulously charming grand charm of resistance to Rödluvan!

Rödluvan: Ha! Keep dreaming. For…WE ARE THE COLLECTIVE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

Maltatai: Scary. New slogan?

Rödluvan: Slogan? Do you take us for a company? This is my – our – political motto, not some marketing phrase.

Snövit: After a particularly fierce battle of the Bloody Foothills I stumbled on a buzzing suit of scales. New suit for Waheed! Hwanins gear is supposed to be shining white but I was not impressed. Need more shine!

Oooh, the jewel! Blue fervor! Much finer than Rödluvans red worthless one.

Rödluvan: No it’s not!

Maltatai: I am actually sure they both are just as good.

Snövit: You’re so boring; you always assume the role of the neutral balanced neutral mediator. Except for when you become the sarcastic joker. A grand charm was trying to jump out of my inventory and hop against the enemy to bump into them and gore them. Really fanatic item.

Later, look – the suit of Rödluvan’s dreams! Red, bloody and thoroughly disgusting.

Rödluvan: I will not even dignify that with a comment.

Snövit: I ran into the dreaded fabled tomb vipers at Nihlatak. Scary. I almost felt poor for Nilly when he watched his whole army of corpse explosion fuel melt away. On the way to him I ran into two packs of minotaurs. One leader was fire enchanted and extra strong. The other was cursed and had the fanaticism aura.

Maltatai: “Hides under his bed shivering in terror” Almost, at least.

Snövit: Those WOULD perhaps have been trouble if I had been one of those primitive tin-heads that the loot god seemed to think I am. But I happen to be a terribly accomplished freezing archer so they ended up as the frozen dessert of the day. Still, a notably unsettling combination worthy of note.



Later, another charming charm! Cold damage is the mightiest and it’s only wise to resist it as much as possible. A small charm was creating spinach regularly. Eugh. After a while I got used to the smell and felt like no other poisons could ever harm me as much as before after this hardening experience. I scraped some spinach off it to coat my arrows in. It can replace my previous poison charm that doesn’t have a resistance along with the damage.

Lastly, look at this necklace! Resists and skills and more poison damage! Might even be useful if I bring both poison charms. And the ring! SO AWESOME! The most essential things for a bowazon in one single ring! It should be called the ring of bear necessities but then the name may attract druids and we wouldn’t want that.

And another amulet that will make me nigh immune to fire together with the dwarf star! Excellent if/when the final battle against Rödluvan takes place! And another charming charm of Rödluvan resistance! I’m swimming in loot, it fills up the whole picture! Need more storerooms!



Maltatai: A strong effort by the Blue Snow team! How will the Red Flames counter? Come back for the next episode to see how it goes.

Rödluvan: Red Flames? Blue Snow?

Maltatai: “shrugs” Adaption to sports events to attract interest. Beware, the next episode may even contain sponsors!

Rödluvan: You wouldn’t dare!

Maltatai: Over and out.

This post was edited by Maltatai on Dec 9 2016 11:10am