as i embarked on my quest to enter tal rashas chamber, many feelings raced through my mind
excitement, apprehension, nervousness
but i took the leap anyway, knowing full well that something horrible was awaiting for me
i walked in to find this big son of a bitch there
look at those fuckin claws tho
i wanted to rip them off and slap that stupid grin off of his face
i began throwing axes at the cunt while pratham valiantly distracted him


pratham didn't last too long before choking and dying in the corner
so i had this big fuckin demon chasin after me with his rape claw ready to shove in my asshole
i tried to throw axes, but his holy freeze made that pretty much useless
and so, i ran
i ran around that god damn chamber for hours just trying to get rid of the freeze long enough to throw some axes
but the bastard wouldn't let up


smartly, i retreated back to town to revive pratham
and then he died again and i repeated this several times
i quickly ran through my gold doing this however, and it came to the point where i had none left
i had no other choice but to kill or be killed
and so i fought
i fought like a god damn level 25 barbarian should fight
i didn't give a shit anymore
i threw axes as fast as a fucking lumberjack who cuts down trees by throwing axes for some reason
i threw them so hard that i was sweating like a bastard and needed duriels holy freeze just to cool me down
i did not GIVE
A FUCKIS WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY
I STOOD THERE LIKE A FUCKING CHAMPION AND I CUT HIS FUCKIN HEAD OFF

This post was edited by Reginaaccchecker13 on Dec 24 2013 04:20pm

I love you. Merry Christmas

LOLOLOLOLOL

dat dramatic zoom ROFL

I have to say, I usually find this kind of writing annoying, but this is actually funny, keep going!

with duriel vanquished, i set forth into the mighty jungle of kurast
2 hours of very dull walking and killing the same things over and over, i ran into these faggots at the edge of the black marsh
lemme tell you about these little fuckers
they don't mess around
they ended prathams shit in half a second
you can see him being an idiot and just standing in the middle chillin out in front of the fire like it's nothing (jackass)
one nigga got a breath of fire on me and it did about half of my life
idk why they hurt so bad, but it wasn't long before i axed them into oblivion


look at this clusterfuck of hulking shitheads
while they were all sucking each others dick, i was standing afar axing my life away
stormtree, true to his name, doesn't fuck around and he quickly charged bolted pratham into a coma
had no other choice but to run away, turning around and throwing one axe at a time as the nigga chased me down the forest
ain't gonna lie, for a big ol wooden tree, guy is fast
but i slayed him eventually


i'd like to talk about these guys for a minute
as you can see by the picture, my aim was a little off
and my aim is never off
these little shits like to run around in circles and just leap everywhere and fuckin doin nothing of valuable to mother nature
i have wasted at least 30 axes killing a small herd of them
this post actually doesn't even illustrate the rage i feel when trying to run one of them down
FUCK YOU

jesus okay
pat vs. flayer dungeon wasn't very fun
this is the first place i've been where it's actually been dangerous
usually i'm just rolling niggas off my back and pratham is grinding away
but holy fuck
every god damn corner there was a giant mob of these cunts hiding away
and the GHOSTS
holy shit don't get me started on the ghosts
tactic use pratham as a human shield didn't even work down here
they fuckin floated right past him and came to me
i've got undead soul killers exploding in my face
i'm about to throw up because i've ate at least 2 pounds of chocolate
fuck
had to actually put health pots in my belt


just had a near fatal encounter with puke wolf
little bastard has some mad defense, i'll give him that
not to mention some uncanny swiftness to go along with that ballin as hell green leather dress
what a fuckin weird ass hippie
i dont even know


i haven't posted stats in a while, so if anyone's interested:
i'm still using the two shopped balanced axes i bought from fara
and pretty much the exact same gear i used all through a2, cos a3 hasnt dropped shit
seriously going to need some upgrades real soon cos fuck this damage


anyway
ONWARDS TO TRAVINCAL

Pat's diary: Part 38- Travincal


my skills as a throwing barbarian were finally put to the test as i strolled up travincal boulevard
i was baffled when i was greeted with a completely empty map
no monsters, no chests, no nothing
just me
and my destiny.
thunderclouds peaked from above and rain started pouring
my raggity ponytail was a blowing in the fierce winds, and my axes ready to slaughter
Mr Ismail Vilehand was the first one to meet me
i kited the fool down towards the waypoint
he thought nothing of it, just some scared barbarian running for his life
WRONG MOTHERFUCKER
i signaled to pratham to get into position, and we went to TOWN ON THIS FOOL
pratham shoved his mighty rod in his face while i stood back and unleashed the carnage
ismail didn't know what the fuck or how the fuck
neither did i
all i saw or knew at that point was rage and fury
and god damn the axes wouldn't stop flyin
i'll give him credit for casting amplify and getting a few good blows on pratham, not an easy task
but in the end, he was a joke
back to where you came from, silly creature
suck a few dicks along the way, spawn



next up was Galeb
at this point, i was as hyped up as a fuckin 20 year old on christmas whose ate 3 bags of chocolate and jerked it 4 times in the last 24 hours
i didn't give a shit about tactics
i said hell with it
fuckin charge forward, mr pratham, we're goin ham.
galeb wasn't messing around either
he went straight to the fire, engulfing us within seconds
it was at this point my colleague and i were ambushed by a normal council member out for a stroll
WHAT THE WHAT
crisis mode engaged
i was strong, but no way i could take on two of these cat like motherfuckers
pratham, understanding the direness of the situation, immediately took action
he left me to take on galeb solo, while he took care of the wannabe high council member
by the time i had put galeb to rest, pratham had finished killing the babby
and all was well.
i wiped my hair out of my eyes
and prepared to face the last, and most dangerous of them all. Toorc "I'll freeze your dick off and ram icicles into your anus" Icefist


this was it.
what i had been waiting for.
the show down.
i met with Toorc at the top of the council. he was the last one standing, and he was ready to throw fists.
with a smirk on his face, he began powering up
his power level increasing by the second
3000, 4000, 5000
holy fuck, i had no idea what was happening
the ground started shaking, the heavens began trembling
a beckoning evil laughter encompassed the entire city of travincal
i began trembling in my 19% magic find boots
i ain't afraid to admit it
and that's when pratham hatched a plan
while this council cunt was stroking his ego and going full out ham, pratham came over to me and whispered me something
something devious, something brilliant
fuckin pratham, i love you
he's getting a bonus this year
a minute later, toorc charged at me.
i raised my axes high and mighty in the air and prepared for my fate
toorc thought he had it in the bag
he thought he had won
WRONG BITCH
OUT OF NOWHERE, PRATHAM COMES SNEAKING UP FROM BEHIND, CHARGING HIS POLEAXE RIGHT AT TOORCS FUCKIN SKULL
he winked at me, and that's when i knew it was time
i began throwing axes full force
i didn't give a shit
axe after axe
i ran out after 5 seconds and started picking up pieces of dismembered council ligaments and throwing them instead
i ripped out one of those fucking sea monsters tentacles and threw that too
i didn't care
but it was pratham who delivered the final blow
a spear right through the neck
ouch, toorc
real fuckin ouch.

LOL

epic

I fuckin love you