So I get home last night, internet isn't working (I have a shitty wireless USB I use for it). So I shutdown my computer. Bad idea. I hit the power button, it turns on (red light is lit) and then it goes *beep beep beep beep beep* and the monitor won't turn on. Computer stays on, keyboard is lit up, mouse is lit up,

I unplugged everything, replugged it, but like wtf do I do? Is it fucked? Scrap metal? Chalklines on the concrete?

Then this is probably coming from the monitor, you should check the cables of the monitor if you haven't the ones at the back.

It's not the cords. I switched the monitor cords in with another monitors cords I had laying around... Monitor and tower were working just fine before I shut down and tried to reboot...

Check your graphic card.
How many beeps is coming and are they short or long and what motherboard do you have?

9 beeps first 2 are some what slower than the others. I'm not sure about motherboard/graphics card.

Disconnect all but the power cable from your computer and start it up. If it starts up simply plug everything back in.

It does start even with everything plugged in... Just nothing on monitor.

Seems like graphic card failure.
If you are familiar with things inside your computer, you could try to remove graphic card and try to clean contacts which goes in motherboard socket. However, if you are not familiar - don't do it, ask for professional help

I'm not familiar with anything on the inside, I watched it get put together almost a year ago now, i might have the grounding cord maybe. But I will hopefully find a professional soon.

Oh man, maybe your comp is full of dust.. It did that to me.. its like overheating with all my controls on exept for monitor.. Open the comp and watch your fans and shits..