Quote (ChocolateCoveredGummyBears @ Oct 9 2021 04:59am)
The best soundtrack to listen to, is in the very game you're playing (Diablo 2)
Quote (Dmitriy @ Oct 21 2021 02:33pm)
based
is saying (literally) the most basic thing possible in this situation based?
or me? who they were calling "based god" before i knew what it meant
--------------> or is this thread indeed very excellent, and you're hating? <----------------
yw for this thread friends, and these wonderful musics
i hope you are enjoying them!!
i tell you plain, even though i was always this way
because i always loved The Truth, even when i didn't know His Name (i can tell you with confidence today: it is JESUS)
but i am from eastern nc, but have been around lots of places and i remember living in south long beach california when i was 15
going to woodrow wilson high school (home of the bruins ^@^)
i remember sitting in a class at the end of the day, after i had been going to that school a few months,
and as we sat down this girl said to me
"this school is like a soap opera. and everyone has their role. but you, you just do whatever you want to. you don't fit in.
i remember i just said "thank you" as we where sitting down/class was starting
she said "it wasn't a compliment."
but to me it was
random note: my teacher used to try to sit on my lap when i went there and i was 15 (hot young blond woman named Ms. Foss)
(this was about 25 years ago..)
making me stay after class to do pushups she wanted it lol
..i remember this story turning on my girl i was with when i first got out of prison when i was 21 (locked up at 18)
that same girl when i finally pushed her away after 4 years because i wasn't gonna marry her and wanted to set her free
the last thing she said to me
on a message on myspace
it was
"thank you for making me the strong, sexy, confident woman i am today. i love you."
the girl i was with when i was 17 said to me when i was older and she was drunk she wished her baby was mine
my baby's mom said to me when she was drunk "she was so sorry for what she did"
..taking him..
sorry got sidetracked there, i will continue ^^
despite being someone living a life of (mostly) lonliness and pain, but i have been blessed with Glory and Grace everywhere my heart has been all my life: with that excellence i spoke of, and God's Protection..
understand i was beat until i pissed blood when i was 5 by my own brother, i was hospitalized for it
i remember once him holding me down and brutalizing me when i was older(like 11 maybe) arms pinned behind my back up like the police do to you, he was 3 & 1/2 years older way bigger
so he could just hold me down and punch me i remember turning my head back and forth side to side to avoid being punched the in face trying to make him hit the back of my head instead it was all i could do
i know now he was a gay ped0 (as they all are) and this is why he did what i will tell you next
after hitting me knocking me down when i was young between the ages of maybe 5-7 i remember he would stomp my nuts with his barefoot (thru my shorts or w/e)
but then he would rub his foot around on my junk
at the time i thought it was just cruelty the times he did this to me: he wanted to torture me,
well, he did, those like him are literally horny to cause pain
but ya it was actually him feeling around with his bare foot also
trying to feel my junk..
i remember him jumping me with his friends once when i was young 5 or 6 and i ran off into the woods
got stung by bunch of bees stepped in hive lost one of my blue rubber boots (i had just gotten as a bday present) as i ran away
when i got home called my step mom at work she came home i remember yelled at me when i accidentally spilled kool-aid on her because my arm was shaking
i was a little kid: small body (At the time. 6'4 350lbs huge now)
i had just been stung like 22 24 times i don't remember exactly i'm sure i counted then
it was bad my mom would never have yelled at me she loved me
this woman used to beat me shrieking and hitting me with the buckle end of the belt
(maybe that's why i once went crazy and whooped my brother and his friends with the buckle of the belt when i was 5 going crazy had them all shook on that day
others used to race home and try to get inside to lock the door before they could get me..)
but this obese woman always used to restrict me from eating never let me eat outside of meals often they made gross stuff as a little kid i couldn't eat so then i couldn't eat for days if i wouldn't (couldn't..) finish it first
get punished for trying sneak anything from the fridge: to them it was "stealing"
my mom would never treat me that way.. ..she'd buy a whole thing of ice creams & i could eat almost all of them she would always say "just save me 1"
back to my brother i remember being punched in face by him straight up blatently one time when i was maybe 14 & 1/2 so he was like 18 at this time
my father saw it happen walked in
made me go outside face leaking blood on the sc reen porch concrete floor
had a nice talk with my brother .. talked for awhile
then came out and "helped" me
i remember once when i was young like 5 riding a skateboard on my belly on the golf-cart path with our 2 manchester terriers pulling me (they called them rat terriers but from the google pictures they were manchesters)
i put my face too low to the ground got it all ripped up face flesh torn up off the gravel off the path (i had been watching it fly by under my nose as the dogs pulled me)
ran home screaming crying my dad was asleep woke him up he was angry (i would never have done it without good reason i know he worked rotating shifts and was in the middle of his 'nights' sleep)
he "helped" me took me outside and sprayed me the face with the hose that was pretty much it
i remember thinking "i could have done that"
my mom whom he took me away from so he wouldn't have to pay child support would never have done that
she would have taken care of me, and gently, because she actually loved me
i remember that man telling me once, when i asked him about my mother, "she doesn't know what love is"
but now i know it's him, and most men and women, and all queer men, who do not know what it is..
but she definitely did
and shone the brilliant Light and Love of The Lord JESUS from her face at me always, reaching me in all places, even in the darkest recesses of prison 1000 miles away
but ya this same man once told me when i was out in the desert with him and my sisters whom he molested (and i think my brothers too) he told me "you wanna go skinny dipping"
we where stopped and i had just slid down a mountain got cactus in my ass
he laughed i was crying i remember saying "why are you laughing"
he said "when you're older you'll understand"
i do understand
he was a wretched dead man evil broken own child molesting queer
and i asked him "what does that mean?" (go skinny dipping)
and he said "get naked and go swimming"
and i remember saying "why can't i just keep my clothes on and swim" and he said "you can it's just fun"
..i understand plainly now as a grown man what he wanted
and could not be more disgusted
and struggled if i should even type it, because The Word says to honor your mother and father,
but i think it was appropriate for those to know who read this
to feel my truth
see i am hiding nothing
this is as real as it gets
..this is what makes me truly amazing
and contrary to the world
my faith in and the way i follow after my Lord
because by His Grace i am not just made excellent, but made to LOVE, which is true excellence
and truly desire to help
and those who are triggered by the excellence in me i just hug all the more, even as they continue stabbing..
as my Lord teaches me
i'm not perfect
but at His Command, and with His Help, by His Grace, am being made more so everyday..
and i tell you, nomatter what intelligence level you have been set to in this life
or your situation
your lack of or access to resources and opportunities
none of this means anything if you are not excellent
what can you accomplish?
you will always be medicore, and blah
just, regurgitating the same old
usually copying others, and for the worse
or you can experience brilliance and glory wherever you are
the Glory that comes from knowing The Lord, the excellence he puts onto you
you will shine at whatever you do
remember to recognize the long-suffering patient wonderful God-sent loving glow of a parent also,
if & while you are so lucky to have 1 with you
This post was edited by readTheBible on Oct 22 2021 09:07am