Esteemed
Gentlemen, good evening.
It is recommended to save the best for last. In the case of this here your
Most
Honorable
Venue today, we shall make an exception.
In my rank of Cardenal Generalísimo of the nearly-defunct guild
Inner Cloister, I approach you here this very evening to debrief you on recent events one last time.
As the remnants of the
Royal Fusiliers Company C CloisterCucks of the
Inner
Cloister
Expeditionary
Force, now reduced to a few runners, a handful of non-GMO courier pigeons,
Father Jon and
yours truly approached the coast, we spotted one final opponent in the distance, another unit from the Austro-Hungarian Empire, the seasoned
Kavallerieregiment I Old Timers, of
Kaiser
Franz
Joseph's
First
Army
Legendary Melee.
Given that morale was as it lowest and we were almost out of ammunition, I climbed on my donkey and addressed the exhausted men.
Aye, fight and you may die. Run and you'll live - at least a while. And dying in your beds many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that for one chance, just one chance to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they'll never take our freedom!Our runners fled the scene instantly.
With only
Father Jon and
myself remaining, we loaded our non-GMO courier pigeons with hand grenades and instructed them to pull the pins upon reaching the target. In the ensuing chaos, we ran for our lives, arrived at the coast and sailed off towards home.
https://i.imgur.com/Toa6ZwV.png[Here goes a minute of silence for the brave non-GMO
Courier
Pigeon
Corps of
Her
Majesty, and another one for the donkey]
And now, the last extra-super-ridiculously-brief summary, for those still incapable of reading.
First round
CloisterCucks 5
Old Timers 1
Second round
CloisterCucks 5
Old Timers 1
And also, the
thank you section
-To
John,
Mike and
Chris: thanks a bunch for organizing the tournament
-To
Jon: thank you for making me join (and allowing my shenanigans)
-To
Julien,
Matt,
Andy,
Terry,
Bryan,
Blake,
Erroll and
Martin: thanks for the duels <3
EpilogueUpon our return,
Her
Majesty bestowed upon as a bronze-colored trophy (one for both, because the wartime budget of the
Empire left something to be desired), and immediately thereafter issued a decree to confiscate all our remaining vessels (as well as all still-living, able-bodied, rugged, loyal, muscular and very well tanned sailors), in order to attempt to cover the ludicrous cost of our expedition (refer to the comment regarding budget above): the
HMS Ber was converted into a casino ship, to replace the
HMS Saint Kevin lost in the Jutland Peninsula, and the
HMS Ludovico was assigned to mobile target duty, to facilitate gunnery training of recently-recruited, able-bodied, rugged, loyal, muscular, very well tanned but oh so inexperienced sailors.
Understandably outraged,
Father Jon abjured
The Forum Gold and retired to a farm in Gloucestershire, where he plans to breed Corgis.
https://i.imgur.com/A4ehYqF.pngAs for
me, I will venture back north, to Skyrim®, where I shall try to find
bezel, extract a few blood samples (for which I still carry my trusty Webley Mk VI), and clone a brand new
Altar
Boy
Ryan.
And this marks the end of the tale of the
Inner
Cloister
Expeditionary
Force. Alas.
Until the
Grace of
Saint
Paul of the
Jay
Es
Pee summons us again, that is.
May
The Paul allow you to live,
The Jay Es Pee allow you to mingle, and
The Forum Gold allow you to make a purchase or two.
Esteemed
Gentlemen, it has been a pleasure, over and out.