Team ezpk vs The Slow Burners
5-3
2-5
5-2 i think.
Gds!

Esteemed Gentlemen, good afternoon.
Today I address you in this here Most Honorable Venue, as Puppet Intermediary of the Department of Birthdays and Funerals of the Holy Church of the Inner Cloister, to report the tragic demise of team Alpha Beta Omega.

It would appear that Altar Boy Ryan mistook a cannister of mustard gas for Earl Grey tea and decided to have some after lunch: we found him dead on the spot, his tiny baby hand still grasping the fine chinese porcelain cup.
Archangel Gabriel was still in his bed, immobile, with a sliver of breath, probably struggling for air. I put him down myself, my gas mask goggles foggy from the tears, after uttering an improvised "esta te la debo, hermano", using my trusty Webley Mk VI sidearm.

Mmm.

Maybe he was asleep.


Well,
oopse?


Anywho, the Holy Church of the Inner Cloister will continue to spread the Gospel of Saint Paul of the Jay Es Pee, and as such, I have dispatched our Grand Fleet CloisterCucks, including dreadnoughts HMS Ludovico and HMS Ber, under the command of Rear Admiral Father Jon, to meet up with TM's Hochseeflotte Girlfriend Experience, somewhere in the North Sea.

May our deepest condolences reach all parties involved: blessings of Paul be with you.
Esteemed Gentlemen, thank you kindly, and enjoy your fish and chips.

dd

please gentlemen arrange you're matches for round 2.

Esteemed Gentlemen, good evening.
Here we are again, reporting live (or as close to it as possible, in reality, because these tldr posts sure as shit don't write themselves) from the front, to debrief this here your Most Honorable Venue about our most recent engagement, close to the Jutland Peninsula.

And so it happened, our Grand Fleet CloisterCucks, under the command of Rear Admiral Father Jon, clashed against TM's Hochseeflotte Girlfriend Experience, guided by Großadmiral Andy and Generaldmiral Terry.

What started as a favorable encounter for CloisterCucks, with dreadnought HMS Ludovico starting most encounters and HMS Ber moping up anything that dared walk, swim, crawl or fly with its 12-inch Mk X guns (if you're thinking what I think you're thinking, then think again) became convoluted (quite frankly unexpectedly), and almost sphincter-tightening near the end, when a swift change in tactics, aided by a communications blackout, a true masterpiece of the Kriegsmarine, allowed a momentary turn of events in favor of Girlfriend Experience.
In the aftermath, however, Girlfriend Experience, despite a most gallant effort, lost this fierce battle of attrition.
The Holy Church of the Inner Cloister didn't come out unscathed either (which, let's face it, has become a habit), with losses including three battlecruisers, three armored cruisers, seven destroyers and one casino ship, the HMS Saint Kevin (debate is still ongoing on reporting such an attack to a non-combat vessel to the Geneva Convention), plus substantial damage to the HMS Ludovico, which included an initial and ridiculously gratuitous broadside from the HMS Ber (wtf Jon, like wtf).
Also worth mentioning is the loss of 6,784 able-bodied, rugged, loyal, muscular and very well tanned sailors of Her Majesty's Navy. Our deepest condolences to their next of kin.

Now for the super-extra-brief-summary here.
First round:
CloisterCucks 5
Girlfriend Experience 0
Second round:
CloisterCucks 5
Girlfriend Experience 1

The Grand Fleet will be disembarking troops in Antwerp, and will continue marching south(ish) towards the Ardennes, where it will probably meet it's next challenge.

May the The Holy Trinity of The Paul, The Jay Es Pee and The Forum Gold guide our path, and more generic blessings of Saint Paul for the rest of you.
Esteemed Gentlemen, thank you very much, sleep tight.

Lol, reminds me of DMXS Radio Stories of motocross riders but it fits the theme
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MR4sKB5oaiM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O_86rh_DCCE

no sympathy vs ezpk

4-5 ez pk
4-5 ezpk

gds guys close ones