Quote (bigbadleroybrown @ Tue, Sep 8 2009, 08:24pm)

here's a farmer lesson joker

"Late again," the third-grade teacher said to little Sammy.


"It ain't my fault this time, Miss Crabtree. You can blame this'un on my Daddy. The reason I'm three hours late is my Daddy sleeps naked!"


Now, Miss Crabtree had taught grammar school for thirty-some-odd years. Despite her mounting fears, she asked little Sammy what he meant by that.


Full of grins and mischief, and in the flower of his youth, little Sammy and trouble were old friends, but he always told her the truth.


"You see, Miss Crabtree, out at the ranch we got this here low down coyote. The last few nights, he done ate six hens and killed Ma's best milk goat. Last night, when Daddy heard a noise out in the chicken pen, he grabbed his shot gun and said to Ma, "That coyote's back again, I'm a gonna git him!''


"Stay back, he whispered to all us kids!"


"He was naked as a jaybird, no boots, no pants, no shirt! To the hen house he crawled, just like an Injun on the snoop. Then, he stuck that double barreled 12 gauge shot gun through the window of the coop."

"As he stared into the darkness, with coyotes on his mind, our old hound dog, Zeke, had done woke up and comes sneaking' up behind Daddy. Then, as we all looked on, plumb helpless, old Zeke stuck his cold nose in Daddy's crack!"

"Miss Crabtree, we all been cleanin' chickens since three o'clock this mornin'!"

Quote (nogo1109 @ Tue, Sep 8 2009, 02:29am)

thats just wrong... lol

Quote (bigbadleroybrown @ Tue, Sep 8 2009, 08:31pm)

yeah lol fuckin eh

he's a good one

Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says "Where in the hell have you been?"



He replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."

"A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?" "I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates," he said proudly.

"What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disdain.

"Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?"

"Well,

One, I like to watch my money grow,

Two, once in a while I like to play with my money,

Three, I like how money feels in my hand and

Lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."




Sounds like a good idea....

Quote (nogo1109 @ Tue, Sep 8 2009, 02:33am)

that one is nice and dirty lol

Quote (bigbadleroybrown @ Tue, Sep 8 2009, 08:36pm)

yeah will im going to sleep now enjoy the jokes guildies 

Quote (steadfast @ Tue, Sep 8 2009, 04:08am)

rofl

Quote (bigbadleroybrown @ Wed, Sep 9 2009, 08:36am)

yeah i have some nice jokes 4 all

Quote (nogo1109 @ Tue, Sep 8 2009, 10:09pm)

hehe got nemore?

Quote (bigbadleroybrown @ Wed, Sep 9 2009, 05:22pm)

here's something not to funny but till alittle bit funny

Subject: white man's system


    Indian Chief 'Two Eagles' was asked by a white U.S. government official,
    'You have observed the white man for 90 years.
    You've seen his wars and his technological advances.
    You've seen his progress, and the damage he's done.'
    The Chief nodded in agreement.
    The official continued, 'Considering all these events, in your
opinion, where did the white man go wrong?'

    The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute
and then calmly replied,
    'When white man find land, Indians running it, no taxes, no
debt, plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, clean water.
    Women did all the work, Medicine man free.
    Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex.'

    Then the chief leaned back and smiled,
    'Only white man dumb enough to think he could improve system like that.