Quote (IceWarrior @ 28 Jan 2010 02:37)
made a post i j/d of few jokes iv had via text recently lol
o'neill, fergie, benetez and wenger out on beer, o'neill gets them in, then fergie, then benetez, then wenger. then o'neill goes to the bar and gets just a pint for himself. the other shout hey whats the score here then? this is the 5th round says o'neill ur not in it!
a young boy goes into his parents room and sees them having sex, the dad looks at his son, laughs and tells him 2 bugger off. later on the dad walks into the boys room and sees him fucking his nan. the boy looks at his dad and says 'not so funny when its your mom is it'
bruce the australian millionaire is having a bbq around his pool. all his m8s are there plus abdul the local shop keeper. after a few beers, bruce shows them his 15ft crocodile he keeps in a pool and bets 1million dolloars to anyone who can beat it in a fight. next thing, abduls in the pool wrestling, biting, gouging, the lot... kills it and climbs out 'wow' bruce says 'i owe u a million' 'dont want it' says abdul 'a car then? a rolex?' 'no' he replies 'well what do you want?' ' i want the name of the cunt that pushed me in....!'
i know how those poor buggers in hati feel last time i had 30 aftershocks i couldnt find my house either
simon cowel has just released the charity song for hati 'lets get ready to rumble'
i was asked to do a 10 mile 'fun run'. i said 'piss off' they said 'cmon its for spastics and blind kids' then i thought fuck it, i could win this!
2 men in australia draggin a pakki out of the sea with a rope tied around his wrist. a vicar walks past and says 'thats what i like to see, man helping fellow man' when the vicar leaves the one guy turns to the other and says 'he might be a vicar and well respected, but he knows fuck all about shark fishing'
2 preists in a bucking bronco contect. one preist manages to stay on for 10 minutes. his mate says 'fuck me how u manage that?' he replies ' easy one of the altar boys is epileptic'
so i was round my new girlfriends house. we were in the kitchen doing dinner when she asked me to turn on the veg. apparantly fingering her diabled sister whos wheelchair bound was not the right move...
young copper on his first beat turn a corner to see a pakki dancing on the roof of his car. 'control, come in' he screams in2 his radio. 'theres a fucking great nigger dancing on the roof of my squad car!' 'you cant talk like that over the radio, please use the correct police language' says the operator. 'sorry' the young copper replies 'ZULU TANGO SIERRA'
be careful driving conditions are bad 2day, iv just come off the road and hit a muslim. it took me 10 mins 2 fields and a golf course but i got the fucker
when i was putting my xmas lights up this year i wasnt sure if it would offend my non christian neighbours... so to be sure i painted 'allah is a cunt' on my garge door.
the pakis prayer:
our father, who art in leicester,
patel be thy name,
thy curry come,
thy stinging bum,
on earth as it is in bradford,
give us this day our daily naan,
and forgive us our smell,
and help those that hold our smell against us,
and lead us not into employment,
but deliver us all our benefits,
for thine is the prayer mat,
the nissan almera,
forever and ever, AHMED
whats the difference between a woman and a washing machine? a washing machine doesnt follow u around for a week after you've dumped ur laod in it.
i found a young homeless girl hidden out by the bins the other night. she was dirty and didnt smell 2 good but underneeth the grime i could see she was pretty and had a nice body. i brought her inside and gave her a bath. as i was toweling off her naked body i became aroused and 1 thing lead to another. before i knew it i was making passionate love to her, i was banging her so hard that a couple of time you'd have sworne she was alive.
what do u call a pointless race that spans 2200 miles over france...?
ty for the lol's xD