Quote (G fOr GoSu @ Dec 27 2015 09:26pm)
Hi all
I have very bad anxiety... my mind will choose any threat I currently perceive, whether it be in the long or short term, and work on it non stop for hours at a time... thinking of all of the potential implications, ways I could get around it, how it could hurt me, etc. etc. but generally viewing the threat from a negative mindset that the worst case scenario is coming my way.
This can be from a genuine threat to my job or my health, such as if I have an argument with my manager at work, then I would come home and end up spending the night making plan's for when I become homeless... then usually I get in the next day and my manager has forgot that we even argued in the first place.
Or the anxiety can come from a less genuine threat, such as if I walk down an alley and I see a used needle, I know in all reality I have not stepped on it, but would promptly spend the next 10 hours googling needle stick injuries and checking out my shoes to see how flimsy they are.
Usually I concentrate on one issue at a time, or I have a few threats I perceive that I switch back and forth from, but if I spent 5-12pm in my room, at least 80% of this time would be spent on whatever threats I currently percieve
I also do my very best to avoid confrontation. I am 6ft 3 and 190lbs of muscle, you could argue this is a tool I use to do just that.
Right now things are just getting worse, my stomach fills up with air and bloats and cramps from the anxiety. I am really struggling to get a hold on it.
I am a lot worse on days like today - spent too much time on my own in the house - some of my fear's I could explain and you would understand why I worry - some are just ridiculous - either way I spend 90% of my energy thinking about it.
I fully understand the concept that my quality of life is worse now because of the time I spend worrying, than it would be if half of my worries actually come true... I just cannot put such thoughts into action.
na kire emlekeztet?