Apathy and Grief.
The feelings of apathy, grief, depression, sorrow, self-pity, the blues, hopelessness, and helplessness
come from the inner program of “I can’t.” Their purpose is to elicit sympathy, to win back, to gain
support, to make others sorry, and to summon help. What is the effect of these feelings on another
person? Although there may be an initial attempt to help, eventually this is replaced by pity and finally
avoidance. Why avoidance? The avoidance is because of the huge energy demand that we are making on
the other person. It is an attempt to drain them by throwing ourselves on their doorstep. This results in
the common saying, which sounds hard-hearted but is unfortunately so often true: “When you laugh,
the world laughs with you; but when you cry, you cry alone.”
Constant grief will drive others away. They begin to resent it unless they are in a very high place
themselves and capable of effortless compassion. Chronic grief brings premature aging, a tiredness and
weariness about the person, and it can only be overcome when we have the courage to allow it to come
up under appropriate conditions and have the willingness to surrender to it and let it go.
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