I have a good friend since gradeschool who went into the seminary. We argue and give each other some civil bullshit but I think it's a great learning experience and he does too, he actually applies what I argue back with to helping out troubled kids with their problems. Our lifestyles got radically different after we turned about 16 and we sort of feed each other insight and have come to some interesting conclusions over the years.

Haven't seen the guy in years, he was in town, so we went out on a Tuesday night to a bar (long story) because he's been unsuccessfully trying to convince me to give up some of my vices (heavy smoking and binge drinking) when the topic went to premarital sex because that's always been sort of a bone of contention between us. Usually we agree to disagree.

But what shocked me was that he first got really loud and started to get kind of defensive and hysterical and the few guys at this redneck bar kind of gave me a weird stare, then my friend broke down into quiet tears and told me he didn't know how to control his sexual urges anymore and has been compulsively looking to pornography for relief. I couldn't really do anything except tell him that everything was OK and leave the place awkwardly. That was over a week ago.

I don't know why he told me this, but what I thought of was that maybe he was ashamed and didn't want to ask anyone closer to him in the religious institution because he didn't want them to think badly of him or that he was indirectly confessing to breaking his vows of celibacy with God, which I think he has not done. If anything he's looking for advice and I don't know what to say. I don't want him to get kicked out of the seminary. I have mulled this over since then and still have nothing.

What's your guy's take on this? How can a young man in the seminary learn to suppress his sexual urges? Does religious history or scripture have anything?