I was very surprised to see myself change, and never would have expected it to happen. I would always say the same things as unbelievers, only with far more persuasive arguments than the majority. The funny thing is, I wasn't persuading anyone. I was just blinding myself further. At the time I thought I had it all figured out, I saw in myself great knowledge, or so I thought, I would go to war with the religious people before believing any of that "fantasy rubbish." I would only believe the truth, and only if it was a scientific objective truth since I am very critical minded and realistic. I grew up an only child with nature all around me, lots of time to contemplate.
I have been through alot in my life, from exploring the wilderness, to flying planes, living the party life, knives to the throat, getting jumped & beaten by gangs alot (this town is bad for that.) I have been at some deep lows, and some high highs. I saw alot in my younger years that no one needs to see. Extreme alcoholism (more than a 40oz vodka per day for many years while working.) Heavy drug dealing, guns to the head, etc... exploring entheogens/shamanic subconscious concepts, and even exploring the cosmos. Out of body experiences. I have done foolish things, I have done wise things, everything we do in life is a massive learning process.
For years I was a truth seeker, in fact all my life. I had always wished to understand the reality of existence, always looking into the shapes of galaxies, nebulas, etc, attempting to look deeper and deeper, gaining an understanding of everything on a dimensional, molecular, and cosmological level. Eternal knowledge, and the ultimate truth is what I seeked. This went on for many decades of my life.
One night long ago, everything changed, a few of us stumbled upon much of the New World Order information, as well as looking into Dubai, etc... We spent several nights intrigued by all that was happening, leading us deeper and deeper into the search for the truth. We came across things such as the 9/11 bombings, and even made a few discoveries of our own that proved it to us further. Something came upon me, as my companions faded away, eventually losing interest and going back to their worldly desires, I could not sleep, nor eat, I was bent on finding the truth of the world, bent on finding out how everything was going down, how everything worked. I was eventually led to think further outside the box, wondering upon how all the religions tied in together, I found something strange, they were all in common, and in fact, did tie in together.
This began to reveal to me that there was indeed a much higher agenda at hand, not just the NWO, but much more. I was forced to look away from earth once again, and into the cosmos. Through major contemplation over weeks and months, and designing realistic theories that came to succeed & make sense scientifically, I really began opening up and finding much more. I looked into every theory, such as Nibiru and the Annunaki's return to earth, which may have been a hoax, but it indeed led me into deeper thinking & contemplation.
A large portion of my discoveries come from uniform comparison, things tend to come together that way. I went through a strange short stage of what could be seen as paranoia/schitzophrenia regarding all the symbols I began noticing around me and many of the people who seemed to be serving that of which I will not speak, these people were somehow different from the others, they suddenly began requiring many multiple signatures, biometric information, and more. That feeling of how they are out to get you, and they know you have come out of the box. A few of you will understand what I mean, and why that occured. That part of it eventually cooled off, but I still kept with me the awareness of what I had come to notice.
I still struggled against religion, and now that I saw that they truly existed, at times while I was still contemplating, I sometimes saw Christ and his angels as "the bad guys" I was always leery of them, and thought that I had to stand against them. I began trying to inform Christians that they were decieved, failing to realize the whole time that I was wrong. It began to change alot more when I actually bought a bible, and began looking into it, I began to see that the ways of Christ were indeed right. Instead of being frightened and rebelling, I began to see the beauty and holiness in it, beginning to embrace it. And eventually, when Jesus revealed himself to me, and actually saved me.
Instead of going by the ways of my desires, I started to look at the world and humans through the eyes of a creator, and said to myself: Wait a minute, if you were going by nature, homosexuality IS actually wrong, why didn't I see that before!? Then, I thought of us humans as fallen angels, or "Demons" and began viewing everything we do through the eyes of a frightened animal. This revealed to me that we are indeed terrifying, thin hairless beings that jump around upright on two legs, full of evil & sin. I started to reveal the sin of man more and more, coupling this with the garden of eden, unlike animals, we have the knowledge of good & evil, and the ability to choose. What I began to realize was that the good & evil was different than how I saw it before. I finally realized that I was evil, falling to the wicked ways.
From that moment, I wanted to be redeemed, to come away from the wickedness my soul had been through for many lifetimes before me. I felt that I was finally being shown a way out. A way to get back to the spirit, and out of the flesh. I began to see the light, feeling it too. But this was only the beginning of the change. I was still totally addicted to so many drugs and worldly things, I was hopeless.
After another year or so, I gradually began to just quit heavy addictions cold turkey. As soon as I had the chance, I would quit. For the final "drug" addiction, I said to myself many times that I wanted to quit in my heart, but accepted that I never could physically, I had done this drug at least 3 times every single day for more than 12 years, and it had become a normal part of my life. I accepted that I was stuck with it, I had no chance.
DEC 6, 2008: There came a day where I got that chance, and I almost didn't take it. But I did. I was sitting there, I hadn't done the drug that day, and my inner conscience spoke to me for the first time, it basically seemed to say: "Je'sus Christ now gives you the chance to leave this last desire behind forever, believe in him, and clean yourself with a promise and baptism in his name." This was the biggest descision of my life, so before deciding, I sat there for a moment, my friend suddenly phoned me from the other room asking if I wanted to have some. Thoughts ran through my mind such as: "If I quit this right now, I may have to leave all my friends, because thats all we do together, we are addicts. I will not be accepted by them anymore. But then I thought to myself, what do I care more about, God or my friends? Reluctantly, I made the choice, also knowing that once I made this descision, it was something that I would never break. I thought: "I'll just quit some other time" but instead, I said to my friend: "No, thanks man, I'm good." then I got in the shower, allowing the water to run over my head I prayed out loud to the Christ, promising to him eternally, asking for him to come into me, and practically being baptised/cleansed of the final desire, in Jesus' holy name. A feeling came over me that I could never have explained until the day it happened. It was done.
My life changed forever from that day forward, in me was created a new nature, he had given me a spirit of love, fellowship, strength, compassion, and wisdom, and a sound mind. All other small fleshy desires/lusts also crumbled away just days after this divine experience. I was throwing away the last of my sin like the garbage that it was, and I didn't even have to try anymore. We will always struggle with the temptations and sin, but now Christ has shown me the way, and delivers me from it before it happens. You will notice in these past months and the coming year, its happening alot. "Many will be purified, and made white but the wicked will do wickedly, and none of the wicked will understand"
He reveals himself to everyone in different ways, whether its as simple as him coming to you in a dream, and saying: "Now you know I'm real, go and tell everyone." or as complicated as having a near-death experience and speaking to him personally, one thing is for certain, he is there for those who will come to him, and is ready to reveal himself.
Blessings to you, in the name of Jesus, the Christ.
This post was edited by Torm1 on Jan 17 2012 08:17pm