First of all, I just want to say that I don't mean to offend anyone if I say anything wrong, but here is my situation.

I have always been interested in learning about Christianity for the past 3 years, but I never had the strength to go alone to church until I met a girl whose recently became Christian (maybe for the last year or 2). We started seeing each other and began to date and I've been going to church with her for the last 5 months and opening up to it, learning about it. I do believe God exists and that Jesus died for our sins, but I just don't feel that my faith is very strong, that I just can't rely on God like a true Christian would. Just yesterday after Girls Conference, she broke up with me talking about this passage. Her and I have had troubles in the beginning of our relationship (In the first month), but she said it wasn't a problem for her anymore until suddenly yesterday.

This is the passage

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?" (2 Cor. 6:14, KJV).

Can anybody explain to me this passage more clearly? I was always told at church that God loves everybody, and Love thy Neighbor as thyself. I was also told that God loves you the same whether you're a believe or not and you still go to church.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm assuming the passage is basically saying don't date non-Christians?

If what I have been told at church is true, then why does God not allow dating a non-Christian?

This post was edited by dwarf1579 on May 8 2011 01:45pm

Have you realized you're a sinner and fall short of the glory of God,

Repented of your sin,

Trusted Jesus Christ as your personal savior?

What it's saying is, Don't hang out with a bunch of unbelievers. It is not bad to talk to unbelievers and chat with them here and there. But God doesn't want you to hang out with them like they are your best friend or something.

The reason behind this is because unbelievers will typically slow down your purpose in life, anytime you mention God they will reject it and usually get into some argument about it.

Hanging out with the people often will bring your life to a slow crawl or even sometimes a hold until you can break free of them and get into an envirement where people are serving God and living for him.

I have had experience with this sort of thing and it makes sense 100%. When I was hanging out with unbelievers, my life was actually going backwards instead of moving in a good forward direction.
Its best to just understand that if you hangout with these type of people, they won't move you toward your purpose in life serving God but pull you away from it.

1 cor 7 12 To the rest I say this (I, not the Lord): If any brother has a wife who is not a believer and she is willing to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And if a woman has a husband who is not a believer and he is willing to live with her, she must not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.

This refers primarily to someone who becomes saved after marriage, but even so Paul says that the covenant of marriage supersedes the differences in faith in that case.

I'm in a similar situation as I'm dating someone who's not religious in any way. Yours is different in that you seem to be willing to learn about and accept Christ. Take a look at Romans 14:

1 Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. 2 One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables. 3 The one who eats everything must not treat with contempt the one who does not, and the one who does not eat everything must not judge the one who does, for God has accepted them. 4 Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To their own master, servants stand or fall. And they will stand, for the Lord is able to make them stand.

The strength of one's faith is inapplicable to that 2 cor verse if indeed you do believe in Jesus' gift of salvation through His sacrifice on the cross. We've all fallen short of the glory of God. I believe the verse you're talking about is primarily a warning against partnership with the wicked. Trying to make a romantic relationship work between a believer and unbeliever is certainly difficult. Any relationship has enough pitfalls without having to deal with differences in something as fundamental as spiritual beliefs.

Two things to consider (both by yourself and with her): Are there other issues that are big enough to make her wary of your relationship? You've had problems in the past; are you two still struggling in other areas? I wouldn't discount the fact that she may be uncomfortable in a relationship because of your other problems and is looking for a way to create distance. Secondly, a relationship where the two parties hold different religious views can be detrimental to one's faith. Walking two different paths for a couple together can put additional strain on both of you. If you're truly looking to learn more about Christ and the bible make that known to her.



"true Christian" is a term that, I believe, encompasses fewer people than you might imagine. Growing in your faith is a lifelong process. Someone is not a better Christian simply because they're well versed in scripture or pray and worship more often. Don't let another person's judgement of your growth inhibit your own walk. "You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things."

To be honest I'm at a sort of crossroads of my own on this topic because I know of no place where Jesus expressly forbids marrying someone who's not a Christian, but at the same time the bible warns against such a union because of the fundamental difficulties. I would advise you to reiterate to her your desire to be open to God no matter what stage your faith is at now. Let her know that this is something you'd want to learn about with her. Make sure that the issue is truly one of faith and not other relational problems. If nothing else, offer to continue attending church and learning alongside her if you're both willing. I understand the awkwardness that might arise, but if God and the bible is her passion, offering to support one another in that area is a good idea to show your commitment.

This post was edited by Durance Of Love on May 8 2011 04:42pm

Paul is saying that those who are weak in faith have been accepted by God just the same as those who are surer in their belief. It is only up to God to judge believers, not man. I'm saying that I don't believe a person who is weaker in faith (i.e. you) is unrighteous or wicked and the verse in 2 Cor doesn't apply to such people. Christians who are weak in faith do not drag others down, nor should they be treated any differently than someone who believes fully. If you believe in salvation through Jesus Christ and are encouraging to others' walk with Christ, you are not one of the type of people that verse applies to. That verse is meant as caution for believers so that they aren't lead wrong by those who don't believe.

This post was edited by Durance Of Love on May 8 2011 06:52pm

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?" (2 Cor. 6:14, KJV).

What does unequally yoked mean?

In partnership or linked together. A couple things I've considered that make me think this passage isn't a prohibition of marrying an unbeliever; he was speaking to the church in Corinth and the context is speaking more about the brotherhood of the church "3 We put no stumbling block in anyone’s path, so that our ministry will not be discredited. 4 Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses;"

The Greek word that the King James version draws on is specific about that yoke (or partnership) being unequal. That qualifier suggests to me that it's possible to have an equal yoke, or a co-existing with unbelievers. Certainly it's nearly unavoidable to avoid working or partnering with people who don't believe in God.

An unequal yoke on a pair of animals (which is where the term yoke is most often used) that binds them together would have them pulling in different directions or creating discord. So, too, would an unequal yoke in a partnership of believers and non-believers result in disagreement.

This is merely my interpretation of the passage as I've not studied the original text, but from the writings of others that have I see no place where the bible forbids marrying a non-believer although the risks are, on the whole, not worth the effort.

There are many different interpretations of the bible are there not? If there are so many, how are we suppose to know which one is the correct one? You may say that

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness?" (2 Cor. 6:14, KJV).

Does not mean don't marry an unbeliever, but the next person who posts may say that it says exactly that. How is mankind / womenkind suppose to know what is right?

This post was edited by dwarf1579 on May 8 2011 08:14pm

It's difficult to be dogmatic about many things in the bible; it's why there are so many sects of religion and sections misconstrued as contradictions. Understanding scripture involves understanding the context of not only the words, but also of the culture and law of the time, the meaning of the words in their original language, etc.

It's said in the Psalms, "6The words of the LORD are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. 7Thou shalt keep them, O LORD, thou shalt preserve them from this generation for ever." It's why as Christians we work our whole lives to not only comprehend what the bible says, but to then apply them in our own lives. Studying the word can yield its own rewards beyond simple understanding of the passages. I would encourage you to bring that up to the woman in question and let her know that you're willing to at least be there with her for that. Faith is often strengthened when we see application of God's word in our own lives.

This post was edited by Durance Of Love on May 8 2011 08:40pm