well since you are sincere in this, i'll attempt to answer your questions, although the disclaimer is that i dont know everything and i never will until the day the lord returns
i will attempt to clear up some things as we go along the way
first off, love god and fear god - i wana start off by saying that God is not a human being like you and i, he's the creator of the whole universe and all things bow down to him, all should fear himn ofcourse, since he is the creator of it all
now in human relationships, do they ahve the power to do anything they want? human relationships are horizontal in teh fact that each human is equal in power and influence, in the relationship between man and god it is vertical in which god is higher, more powerful, and is the dominant party leaving you to be the subordinate
fear is also another way of saying, i respect you or i acknowledge you, if you fear god, you know of his power, you know of his capabilities, you know he is real, you know he's in control of everything, that is why in proverbs it says teh fear of god is the beginning of wisdom, this means you are beginning to become wise because you know who's in real control of the world, you realize that even if you are hurt, God will take that in account and take care of it, You are also wise because you know that if you do something bad, God will also take that into account and you decide not to do it, basically teh fear of God is knowing that he's real and that we should fear him because that's where we belong, we are created by him therefore we are truly his property
if you created something, obviously you would like to believe that it's yours, nobody can claim it to be theirs, even the thing that you created can't say i own me, since God technically owns us all then we are to fear and worship him
while this is true, God desires us all to love him, that is why he gave us all a free choice, if he didn't love us he wouldn't have given us a choice, how would he know that we love him or not unless we had free will, it's like the king who has power over his subjects but wants to know if his subjects love him, so he tells them go ahead and leave if you want to, if you want to stay then i'll know you love me and i am good to you, if you want to go then go
we can still fear him and love him
as for the matter of placement in this world having to do with affecting your choice of getting saved or not, while this is a touchy subject and even many christians debate about this all the time, from what i know there have been many examples of kids who have grown up in christian homes and even kids who have grown up as pastor's kids and have totally rejected the faith, so just by being influenced by the word of God many times does not mean that you will automatically be saved, and being in a secluded island away from all civilization doesn't excuse anyone either, because god has made it clear and revealed himself even in nature, and if someone is sincere, they will get an answer, in teh form of a missionary or someone who is willing to go out there and tell them, god promises that you will always get an answer when you ask him to reveal himself to you, like i said before i dont know everything but i have the tendency to believe that those people who are secluded dont want to believe in God or don't have a desire to see him, that's why they havent' been reached yet - but that's not for me to say because i dont know man's hearts and i dont know what they're really thinking - all i know is that God has given every man a chance otherwise because he is willing that every man should be saved
the matter where the god loving man dies - once a god loving man or "believer" has trusted on jesus christ as his personal saviour, he will never lose his salvation, no matter what he does, think about it, do you actually think we as humans can go on 5 seconds in life without sinning? ofc not, do you see us always praying for repentance? some of us prolly dont or pray once a week in church, but the point here is that a believer will never lose his salvation once he has trusted on jesus christ
the prospect of hell bothers you? it should, people are going to hell, simple as that, i dont want to sugar coat it, if they're not saved, they're going to hell, it should bother believers that others all around them are goin to hell, which should encourage bleievers to continue to tell the world about jesus instead of fearing what others have to say, you can tell someone the information, what they do with it is their business
God is not a religion, and neither should Christianity, true Christianity is a personal relationship with God, it is not what church you go to, it's not which father or priest you confess your sins to, it doesn't matter how often you pray in the day, it doesn't matter how many times you have climbed the stairs with your knees, it doesn't matter how many hail marys you have said - what matters is that you have a personal relationship with Christ
i think your friend needs a history lesson, or is really just confused as to what real christianity is about, he probably means the Catholic church which was used and is still used as a political aspect in society, not gona sugar coat this either, the Catholic church is not true christianity, if you are abiding by hail marys and how big or how fancy your church or how much indulgences you have bought
yes miracles did happen in the bible, and yes they didnt have cam corders and photographs back then, simple - if you saw a man raising people from the dead, would you have believe instantly that this man is jesus? ofcourse, then what's the use of faith? if you have proof, what's the use of faith? there would be no point at all
in this story you speak of, i believ it's the book of Job, and yes God allows you to go through difficult times, it's a part of life and it's a part of allowing you to learn, it's a part of allowing you to humble yourself, it's many things, but God will only allow you to go through what you can handle, he won't put u in a situation that you will completely and utterly reject him because you feel abandoned, another thing is, if you have never had any trouble or problems before in your life, how do you expect to ever grow up? how do you expect to ever take care of yourself if everything was given to you in a silver platter?
God could have died a quick and painless death, yes that is true. the fact of the matter is... GOD LOVES YOU, SO MUCH THAT HE WOULD SHOW HIS LOVE FOR YOU BY BEING BEATEN, WHIPPED AND CHUNKS OF HIS FLESH RIPPED OFF, WEARING THORNS ON HIS HEAD, BEING STRIPPED OF HIS CLOTHING, HAVING HIS BEARD PULLED OUT, BEING NAILED ON A TREE, if that's not vivid enough, the nails they stuck through him were through his wrists not his hands, a pain that hits a certain nerve in the body that some have said to be unbearable, but he did it ALL, just to show you how much he loved you, he could have taken a pill, he could have taken a poison and died a comfortable death in private, but instead he chose to die a publically humiliating death while everyone laughed at him the ones that he loved pounding nails into his wrists and ankles... if hta'ts not love my friend then what is?
another thing is that jesus was sinless, that means he was a clean slate, comparatively to us who are dirty and full of sin, he was the only one who can save us
i hope this answers some of your questions