I just thought of something that happened to me about a year ago, and this is terrifying to me. I play lacrosse, and I also have a lot of leg problems. I was practicing in the back yard doing a lot of dodges (AKA jukes) and I kept feeling this sharp pain in my weakest foot. I'm stubborn, so I kept pushing. I didn't stop, and injured my foot. I remember asking god why I had to end up with bad feet? Why all this happened to me? Why me? At one point, I ended up saying fuck you god in my head. Never actually spoke it, but still. I'm terrified. From that day, I prayed for 2+ months every day saying how sorry I felt, on my knees, crying at one point. I'm terrified.
Mark 3:28-29
28 Verily I say unto you, All sins shall be forgiven unto the sons of men, and blasphemies wherewith soever they shall blaspheme:
29 But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation
Matthew 12:31
31 Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men.
What do I do?