I'm having trouble finding some purpose in my life.

Im 18 years old and in a summer after graduating and heading into college. I work at a renaissance fair making minimum wage... im pretty smart but nothing special. But ive honestly hit a really low rut in my life...

Couple years ago i started dating girls, and lets just say these girls really lack a conscience. Ive dated several girls who werent virgins, quite a few ended up breaking up with me and going and fucking some other boy within 24 hours. makes me feel like total shit, but what can i do?

This brought on a minor form of OCD. Trichitillomania, i pull out small parts of my eyebrows when i am stressed. and lately because of above^, its been happening a lot. Now im stuck in a loop of being worried about having no eyebrows and people knowing im a freak, which in turn makes me tear the new hairs out.

Ultimately, my life right now is extremely boring. I go out, go to a few mixers (shhh) and really its the same shit different day. My parents tell me that unless i hit some major scholarships, i wont be able to finish my last 2 years of college. Some of my ex girlfriends are beginning to flirt with me, but theyre telling me lies and i know i will just end up a bigger mess.

Honestly, ive thought about just quitting, joining the marines or the army and hopefully being deployed. and living to the end of the day, not worried about the future. I wouldnt care if i had to kill or be killed, anything could be better than what i have.

Ive prayed to God, asking Him to guide me, to help me get through this. I have done this before, and been saved from some serious depression. But now, its at its worse, and I really feel forsaken. I havent felt any signs, no modivation, nothing to help me. I dont expect a shining angel to appear, but nothing to even inspire faith... I cant take this.

I dont know who to talk to. I dont regularly go to church because i live ruraly, so i cant talk to a priest, and i dont want to talk to my parents. They tend to overreact and might send me to a therapist. I dont need somebody to fix me, id rather fix myself...

So this is why i give you this wall of text, Christian Fellowship. I know some good people are on this forum who have good faith. If you arent one of those and like to post "LOL QQ FAGGOT," i honestly cannot express how much i dont give a shit what you post.

My name is Tyler, im 18, and im at an aweful point in my life...

I'm not going to tell you that you will find something or that there is hope, I'm not like those everyday people.

Take a look back at School, what subjects did you do well in? What subjects did you enjoy the most? How sporty are you?

I used to suffer from depression myself until my PRIDEsaved me. Lets steer away from all of the negative things that are going on right now. What are some great things going on in your life right now? You've gained the courage to open up and speak out and I commend you for that. I know how it feels when you have nobody to talk to. Finally when you do they just turn on you altogether, I get that.

The ultimate quest in everybody's life is to find their purpose in life. Now that is a very difficult quest that takes a lifetime to accomplish. I, myself still have no idea what I'm going to do in my ultimate job but at least I do have a job to keep me going for awile. You do as well so you are receiving income. That is a good thing.

Advice? Take initiative. Weeping and moaning and being negative won't get you anywhere. Look at your options and look at what you DO have and what you CAN do. It may take some time but in the end you will have some kind of hope instead of being hopeless. If you get lucky you may even find your destiny at the end of the road.

Several things from me:

First off, Girls. If you don't feel any sort of connection with the girls you are dating, you need to NOT continue dating them. When my wife and I went on our first date, we knew there was something special (now married 10 years next month) Being with a companion will make a difference (for good or for bad), make sure it is for good.

Second, Job. If you feel like you need to join the military, that is not a bad thing. I have known many people who have done so, and have not regretted it. Just make sure you join up into a job you will be interested in. One of my friends wanted to help in the medical field, so he is a medic and is actively delivering babies! Another friend AND my sister wanted to be in bombs and explosives, so that's where they went. You don't have to join up into a fighting position you know.

Third, Life. Life is rough for everyone as they graduate from High School, it is a HUGE transition in life. Just hang in there and stay positive, there are a couple quotes from 311 songs in my profile, they are all about staying positive, check them out.

thx for that, i to can relate to Tyler

if you cant get to a church then check this out ( http://www.psmchurch.com/templates/cuspromiseland/default.asp?id=27630 )

Its a really good chruch you should watch it LIVE next sun day, its the chruch i go and the people at promis land has helped me out a bunch =) take care and god bless you

you are looking in wrong place... every day you live, is your path, you cant follow it it guides you on his one. you waned it or not its the same, you will go where you have been given, looking forward is making you scared and i should. and pain is just something in your path that you must learn to live with. every1 in his life hade hard time. its not something you can change. But you can overcome it like everyone else in his life. if girl dumps you you eat it up, stand up, look straght forward and keep going, dont let em stop you, dont let any1 stop you, you just go as fast as you can! AND YOU MUST BELIEVE! BUT NOT IN GOD, NOT IN GIRL, NOT EVEN IN YOUR BEST FRIENDS, ITS ONLY IF YOU BELIEVE IN YOUR SELF! no1 can help you, but for the love of the lord, help your self

This post was edited by DZOKSI on Jul 14 2010 05:59pm