divorcee i didnt know anything was wrong nothing was ever said then 10 days after i was told she was done there was a man in my bed
This probably isn’t going to be very popular on here but I’m going to say it anyways.
You need to grieve and not rush things . Figure out what you want with time. If there are kids involved it gets cloudy but they will eventually understand and you can’t live unhappy . The reason nothing was said is mainly because she was probably sneaking around behind your back if a guy is in your bed that fast. She was seeking a thrill outside of the marriage and it seems to have led to more with the other guy. This is by no means a reflection of your self worth or you as a person it is a reflection of the other individual who couldn’t vow to keep their promise in a relationship. If it was in the other individuals heart and soul they would have sat you down and you both would have had a very hard emotional conversation about what to do next. If that’s still in the cards I suggest you try and have the talk without getting angry and defensive . If it was just a game so she could get a hall pass to not feel guilty and papers haven’t been drawn out. If they are in motion and it hasn’t been finalized then 10 days after is still considered infidelity because you are still legally married .The relationship could have been rocky but by no means is it justified to do what was done. No one deserves that type of treatment , it’s a rough experience and no one on here can tell you how to feel. It’s a stigma us males have to deal with about talking about feelings but I suggest you talk to a church group a marriage counselor for group sessions or a therapist to help guide you about how to deal with the emotions or it will eat you alive. All you can do is tell her how you feel from your heart, if it’s worth putting yourself through hell to save it , only you will have the answer for that hardship. If it isn’t just know there are a million other people out there that will not do this type of betrayal and fake love.
The only thing really to do is give it time , the days you want to just lay in bed because your legs and body feel like 1000 lbs is the day you need it most to get up and do things for you. Go for walks to clear your head, go hit the gym or spend time doing your favorite activity. Do Things that make you happy and see what’s important in your life and how amazing your life is and can be. It’s a tough long road and if you are religious , maybe it was an experience god had set forth not for you to feel unwanted and unloved but to build you stronger and on the path to meet your true soulmate. This type of thing takes a toll on everyone and no body can tell you how to get over it and how to feel they can just offer advice from their own situations. It’s something that hurts like hell and takes time.
I wish you the best of luck , keep your head up and start working on yourself and your own self happiness
This post was edited by xPOOTZx on Feb 10 2026 01:16pm