Spamming in a spam topic seems appropriate.

8. Deuteronomy 23:1
ESV


Make sure your cock and balls are in good order for heaven because god likes cock and balls.

This post was edited by lithfkn on Dec 16 2009 07:43pm

http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Deuteronomy_23

Here iz soem lawz from Moses Cat 4 u
Rulez for who cant goe insied teh Ceiling Cat's houz.

1 Soz, leik, if u haz goed to teh vet and been neutered or if u haz has crushed harbls then u can't go in The Ceiling Cat's house.2 Nowun begatten of, leik, a forbidden marriage, nor his bebes nor his bebe's bebes all the wai to ten bebes away can enter The Ceiling Cat's house.3 A Ammonite or Moabite, or hiz bebes or hiz bebe's bebes all the wai to ten bebes away noen of dem iz can evir go inside teh Ceiling Cat's houz. Srsly!14 Why? I iz tell u why! Iz becuz dem diddent meet u with cheeseburgerz and watter when u wuz leevin Ejipt. An also becuz dem wuz had thair buddy Balaam, who'z dad wuz Beor who hunged owt in Mesopotamia, to put a nasti curse on u5 But luckey 4 u Ceiling Cat diddent listen to Balaam, an maed teh curse into a big piel of cheezburgrz 4 u becuz Ceiling Cat tinks u iz da bomb.6 So u shud nevir be niec to dem or evir gif dem cheezburgrz or anythin ever.7 U iz cant haet doods from Edom cuz dey iz ur bros, k? An u cant be mean 2 Ejiptians cuz u wuz once an undokumented worker in thair land an dey evin let u hav driverz licensez.

This post was edited by infinitesimal on Dec 16 2009 07:41pm

Jesus cursed a fig tree because he was hungry and it was empty

Matthew 21

18Early in the morning, as he was on his way back to the city, he was hungry.
19Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, "May you never bear fruit again!" Immediately the tree withered.

Hah, awesome.

This post was edited by lithfkn on Dec 16 2009 07:47pm

Jezus lieks fruits...

Poor tree, I wonder if it went to heaven?

33 When an alien lives with you in your land, do not mistreat it. 34 The alien living with you must be treated as one of your native-born. Love it as yourself, for you were aliens in Egypt. I am the LORD your God.

This post was edited by Crazyday on Dec 16 2009 07:53pm

This isn't one word, dumbfuck