Greetings plebes. I - the great doctor woke have returned to do what I do best: remind you that I am better than you because I vote democrat and I’m super super woke. I wanted to just take a moment to remind you of a few fundamental American ideals.
1. America is evil so never mind all that, I’ll give you my ideals because what I believe transcends American values - which are terrible.
2. If I have to wrestle each and every one of you down, jab a needle in your arm and force a synthetic substance into your arm for the good of my moral virtue I will - also the right to do what I choose to do with my body is absolute and has no limits.
3. The rights of women everywhere are now in danger. Especially the rights of unborn women - wait no they don’t count, they don’t deserve even the right to live . . . Because F ‘em. Look someone has to arbitrarily decide which women should get to have the right to live, so might as well be me.
4. I’ll warn you now that places like Texas and Florida are going to be really sad when all the proud brave liberals escape to the utopian paradises of LA and New York City!!
I bet all you Trump supporters feel quite silly now that I’ve let you have it!!