I obviously disagree with every single thing you just wrote, but assuming that the bolded part were true - shouldn't it cut both ways, shouldn't married men also be influenced by their wives' more liberal politics and "mellow out"?

This post was edited by Black XistenZ on Feb 1 2024 09:44pm

If the ideologies were neutral with regards to gender, like taste in food, yes you would expect some spillover to happen. However, what we are talking about is not neutral with regards to gender.

Conservatism, particularly of the religious variety, teaches women to be subservient to their husbands. Not the other way around. The ideal conservative family is the nuclear family where the woman never speaks out and the hierarchy is respected. So no, it wouldn't be expected to cut both ways because the ideology specifically says women don't need to be listened to.

How likely is it that a liberal woman marries a guy of this hardcore traditionalist variety, a guy who expects his wife to run the house and birth his children, but to otherwise shut the fuck up? Sorry, but in this day and age, the vast majority of women who end up as "TradWives" do so because they are explicitly looking for such an arrangement and are traditionalist and conservative to begin with.

Also, not every woman looking for such a traditional arrangement (where she doesn't have a job and fully focuses on the household and the children) is also looking for a strong hierarchy or willing to put up with a husband who doesn't value her opinion. A traditional gender role doesn't necessarily imply a lack of emancipation.

This post was edited by Black XistenZ on Feb 1 2024 10:00pm

It is not required that the man be hardcore. These things are baked into the culture. TONS of women will date then marry a guy who's politics they don't like and then assume part of his personality. It's extremely common.

Hell it happened to my sister. She was pretty liberal, decided it was time to settle down, and I'm watching the transition to being more conservative every year at our family get togethers.

If you don't think this is insanely common you are just very very very out of touch.

And to be honest, I think you are very out of touch. I don't think you realize how much you know about politics and how much your bias impacts your worldview. Most people don't pay much attention to politics if they can avoid it. Yes, even today that is the default mode of existence if an issue isn't pressing for them personally.

Getting married and settling down automatically lends itself to becoming more conservative than during one's years as a young, uncommitted, unbound single. Dito for home ownership or having children. Yes, I'm well aware that this process is insanely common. But it is a natural process which makes perfect logical sense; we don't need to assume some intricate "corrupting influence of asymmetric gender roles" to explain it.

By the looks of it, you're in the middle of this process yourself. I might misremember, but didn't you write just 1-2 years ago that you and your wife are in agreement about never wanting children? Well, seems like you guys changed your mind. (Interesting how having a good and stable income changes the mind, isn't it? ) Well, good for you, I'm honestly happy for you! Just know this: you will become a selfish nimby in no time once you have kids, someone who prioritizes the well-being of his own little family over political or ideological ideals.



And again: who says that guys don't marry girls who's politics they don't like, only to eventually assume part of her personality? Your entire argument hinges on the chauvinistic and sexist assumption that women are more malleable, docile and weak-willed than men and therefore meet their husband's politics not at the middle point, but somewhere far beyond.

This post was edited by Black XistenZ on Feb 2 2024 12:42am

longwided way of saying a democrat becomes a republican once he starts paying taxes

The idea that getting more conservative as you age has been debunked six ways to Sunday. That it's incredibly common for women to date a conservative guy and take on his ideology largely to keep the relationship together is an observation first and an explanation second.

As for my personal situation, wife's brother had a kid and so she wants one now. I'm indifferent except that we just dropped like 20k on home improvements we will be paying off over the next year. I heard about women getting their "biological clock" and turning on a dime but didn't believe it until it happened.

And no, not gonna be a NIMBY. That shit ruins kids and is fundamentally selfish. Parents try to play it off as being selfless and wanting to keep their kids safe, but in reality it's the parents soothing their own anxieties at the cost of their kids well-being.

This post was edited by Thor123422 on Feb 2 2024 01:14am

becoming conservative with age is far from a "natural" process lmao, peoples' political ideology generally stays the same throughout their life. the old people that do become conservative are usually vulnerable and scared so its understandable

It's about far more than just paying taxes. People become more conservative the more things they have in their life that are actually worth conserving. Likewise, the more a person has settled, the more he or she is set on a specific life trajectory, the less importance personal freedom and keeping choices open will have, hence the appeal of liberalism diminishes.



I didn't say people get more conservative with age, I said they get more conservative once they settle down, marry, have children, buy a house, have a stable job that they don't intend to change soon, etc.





Funnily enough, I know a couple of guys who got in a relationship with girls more leftist than them and then started toning down their own politics to appease their partner and keep the relationship together.

Maybe our differing experiences in this regard are a function of our social environment. I've been living in a large urban center (population over 2m in the metro) for almost two decades, myself as well as the bulk of my friends, family and peers are college-educated, many of them professionals. My family was never particularly conservative or religious. And the cultural/political contrast between rurals and cities, while big, is not nearly as gigantic here in Germany as it is in the US. Your political worldview seems to be shaped by the stark contrast between growing up in (I think?!) rural Missouri and the environment you experienced in grad school/your current job.

This post was edited by Black XistenZ on Feb 2 2024 02:21am

you are getting it

women typically take on the beliefs and interests of the guy they are truly into