imagine living it, now you might understand why those in kink communities are so put off by finding out about the kink/trauma relationship when they're in it purely for the kink.

Bigger oof. The issue I have with that is that their legitimate kink is now being highlighted as a problem by some vanilla random as "bad" due to what they figure is an outlier.

As you said, no black and white. Even if that's not entirely true, from their perspective, you'd be demonizing them, no?

my contention is that it's no outlier, and that as i said before a large number in the community flock to it with traumatic baggage. ive seen some surveys, although im not going to research them up on my work computer lol, that indicate the percentile of them compared to general population is fairly telling. shortly, many people in the kink community are there because of trauma, and to those that arent this becomes a harsh reality. same goes for the professionals, dominatrixes and the like. many end up having a hard stop on any personal stories with clients because even when paid they cant in good conscious continue as their dom.

Okay. What studies and numbers do you have that they're not the outlier?

Seems based on simple pornhub stats that there's a huge body of evidence that these "kinks" are pretty mainstream, no?

like i said im not going to enact my google-fu while at work. lol.

but also we'd have to draw a line between kink consumption in porn and kink participation in real life. big difference. although in a tangential discussion many people are turned off to find out that pornstars are equally traumatized during filming of scenes. in fact i read a study that when documentaries started to come out about abuse on porn sets "amateur" porn started to rise, as people thought this was more consensual. only to find out many sex tapes are released without 1 or both people's consent, and abuse in amateur tapes is also rampant.

Of course I would never encourage you to do something unacceptable at work. That being said, my point is still pretty firm. You wish to make a point regarding what people fap to vs what they'd honestly participate in. I say, there's a reason you don't make the example of the man being choked by the woman.

thats the exact example im referencing actually, in a way. i just didnt say it outright. many men who go to and pay female doms were abused as children. a higher percent by count than general population. there's a correlation in almost every kink.

Men choked to death by women are a statistically speaking non-existent sample. This is kind of the thing. I never expected you to fall into that point. It's a bad one to make.

men choked by self because he doesnt want to pay woman any more, or she leaves his service she she finds out his motivation tho? david carradine being an example of kink gone wrong there. as with many kinks men find it hard to find women or even gay men or trans women willing to dive into their kinks as deeply as they desire. self gratification can be the most dangerous, partners provide not only safety in telling them when its gotten too severe but also someone to dial 911 if it gets over the line. sexually linked drug overdoses are another topic this ties into.

Right, but then you delve into the discussion of actual suicide there, and then it's completely out of the realm of "kink". Remember, Robin Williams only had to stand up, and he'd still be around.

You're talking about a willful choice. And as owners of their own person, I cannot argue their choice. Their life belongs to them alone, no?