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Apr 15 2024 01:23pm
Quote (thesnipa @ Apr 15 2024 12:14pm)
pre-internet people had 2 choices, find a way to start a family or in your 30s be alone. the internet gives people a false hope that they can be in a social network without in person direct family connections, or at the least a spouse.

i think it's acted as a safety net to inhibit people from forcing themselves to settle down and put down roots. in a general sense.

and obviously its a complex spiderweb of venn diagrams and causality correlation crossover. people cant afford houses, online dating and social media make people jaded and less faithful, mental health is under attack generally from unrealistic social media comparisons, etc.

still the people i know who found their way to wives/husbands and families are starting to come out ahead. when i was 25 i wouldnt have said that. the unattached non parents were thriving, bars on the weekends, spending whatever they wanted. now in our mid 30s they're all pretty much depressed and lonely. begging us to find babysitters to relive the glory days, unaware we're going home at 8 even if we do.


I think we agree more than we disagree, which my initial reply wasn't great at conveying. Definitely people who have family connection fair much better, by large virtue that we are social creatures that need and seek connection.

Where my initial reply was mostly geared towards is the idea that people are coming up in the world with a "I don't need anyone / I like my independence" mindset. I haven't seen this much, personally (which isn't to say that it's not true). Rather, I have seen the opposite where people are desperate for connection but they simply have no idea on how to meet people or make friends.
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Apr 15 2024 01:31pm
Quote (Handcuffs @ Apr 15 2024 01:23pm)
I think we agree more than we disagree, which my initial reply wasn't great at conveying. Definitely people who have family connection fair much better, by large virtue that we are social creatures that need and seek connection.

Where my initial reply was mostly geared towards is the idea that people are coming up in the world with a "I don't need anyone / I like my independence" mindset. I haven't seen this much, personally (which isn't to say that it's not true). Rather, I have seen the opposite where people are desperate for connection but they simply have no idea on how to meet people or make friends.


yeah i get where you're coming from then for sure. id only add i think its an evolution. ive seen a lot of "i really value my independence" people, applied to not having kids or a spouse, flip 180 in their early to mid 30s when they feel the creeping loneliness set in which that results in. guys and girls. its just so appealing in your early to mid 20s when that first real job money hits, you see the highschool sweethearts sleeping at 9 and burning their checks on diapers and say "never gonna be me". then in your 30s you become one of the only ones left and you're playing catch up.
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Apr 15 2024 01:32pm
Quote (thesnipa @ Apr 15 2024 12:31pm)
yeah i get where you're coming from then for sure. id only add i think its an evolution. ive seen a lot of "i really value my independence" people, applied to not having kids or a spouse, flip 180 in their early to mid 30s when they feel the creeping loneliness set in which that results in. guys and girls. its just so appealing in your early to mid 20s when that first real job money hits, you see the highschool sweethearts sleeping at 9 and burning their checks on diapers and say "never gonna be me". then in your 30s you become one of the only ones left and you're playing catch up.


It seems like birth rates and family starting times are on the decline in large part because people don't see a viable financial ability to afford to do so though.

This post was edited by Handcuffs on Apr 15 2024 01:32pm
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Apr 15 2024 01:44pm
Quote (Handcuffs @ Apr 15 2024 01:32pm)
It seems like birth rates and family starting times are on the decline in large part because people don't see a viable financial ability to afford to do so though.


the snake eats itself. people flocked to urban areas which become increasingly less advantageous places to live. meanwhile the country bumpkins by me can still live out close to a 1960s lifestyle. i know dozens of 1 worker households who live in 3 bedroom homes. its of course getting worse slowly, but nothing like in milwaukee or madison. ive seen 400-500k houses i wouldnt even trade for with my 130k house which has ballooned to 250k value.
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