Dear Diary,
It's August 31st, and Biden is still in office. Patriots are frantically calling me asking whether the military coup will take place or not. My estranged family members have reverted to mocking me again., and now I'm forced to postpone my MAGA BBQ event this Saturday. Trump, I thought you were supposed to play chess while they play checkers. Trump, what is taking so long? Trump, when you endorsed the vaccines twice, I vehemently defended you from the naysayers on discord, but why aren't you reciprocating? I thoroughly enjoyed your MAGA rally in Louisiana and have been watching it on repeat a dozen times thus far, but it's not enough - we are all eargerly waiting for the Storm. Trump, did you receive my letters? Trump?! TRUMP!