Quote (IchBinDaddy @ Aug 5 2019 06:00pm)
What the actual fuck
-- What does being plural really mean? What's it like?
This section is gonna be kind of rambly. Brains are weird and it's hard to describe experiences that come from within them in ways that make sense externally.
Being plural is sort of like just being with someone else all the time, except you also share the same brain and body. Learning to communicate between ourselves has been, and continues to be, rather difficult. We can only really do it effectively when we have total privacy and are in the right state of mind, but as time has gone on the past few weeks we've been getting better. When this all started, we couldn't communicate at all! Then, we could, but it was terse and emotionless, but now we can have real human-like conversations!
Plurality is sort of like multiple people having a remote to control the same RC car, wherein the car is your body and the people are headmates:
"Your body is an RC car that everyone in-system can control remotely. You can be talking and screwing around in the mindscape while the body pours a drink, or changes channels on the TV. Sometimes, for more intensive tasks, whoever has the controller at the moment will have to focus more than usual on what the body is up to, and sometimes they will be less occupied."
[quote from "Your Body is an RC Car – Watcher" at https://tulpa.io/possession-and-cofronting-tips-and-articles]
In a sense (and with some limitations), plurality is really just a significantly more dramatic form of compartmentalization - if you've ever said "one part of me wants x, but another wants y," that's sort of the deal!
Plurality isn't always smooth sailing. As with seperate people, headmates can be in conflict. A major part of the reason we haven't been streaming much in the back half of 2018 (besides school) is that we're struggling to decide /how/ to stream. Proto wants the fancy layouts, graphics, alerts, cameras, all the big bang production, while alexis wants exactly precisely none of that, and struggles deeply with feeling like our stream in its current state is "dishonest" of who she really is.
Before we knew we were plural, that "internal divide" seemed completely insurmountable. Now, however, it's not so scary - just like in physical friendships, we can communicate, express our feelings, wants, and needs to each other, and make compromises, and so we can work out our different streaming goals! Or, at least, we will. We're still working on that. i (-a) still have a lot of trouble giving up control, especially when it comes to our stream, which has been an issue. In the future, you might see us do our own individual streams now that we're out as plural. Or something. Just like in physical friendships, making compromises and agreements over polarizing issues is difficult.
The past month has been full of unique and interesting experiences. Talking to each other, learning to switch who's in front (aka controlling the body), trying to figure out who we are, and finding out in all sorts of little ways what being plural is like.
For example, last night, alexis tweeted about making a magnemite gijinka cosplay. A few minutes later, Proto took the front (we've found that Proto will often just jump into the front when alexis thinks about xir. we can't fully control switching yet. -a), and saw this tweet, and "I" (that is, the front) had a moment of "wait, what, I didn't write this tweet!"
We consider our plural relationship to be one of working together. Each of us have skills, strengths, and weaknesses that compliment each other. It's kind of like one of the big two-person mechs from Pacific Rim, except not really, but sort of.
Hopefully that gives you something of an idea of what our brain is like. Trust me (-P), we don't get it either.