Nascar driver and part time actor Bubba "Smollett" Wallace was reportedly the victim of a hate crime apparently involving a miniature noose that doubles as a garage door rope.
Its the latest in a long line of imaginary hate crimes committed against the extended Smollett family.
We have a picture from the scene of the crime:
There are two competing and equally likely theories so far:
1) Some vicious and conniving white supremacist must have put the 'noose' there years in advance to torment our brave social justice warrior of color.
2) The perpetrator is thought to be invisible as he has evaded all security and camera footage so far. Who knows where he could (not) appear next?
Fortunately most of the nascar family supported him and he could share his experience on many talk shows and news appearances.
Quote
"A source with Richard Petty Motorsports told CNN that Wallace never saw the noose. A member of his team discovered it and immediately brought it to NASCAR’s attention, the source said."
Shocking, yet heartwarming. Few in history have been subjected to such evil.
NASCAR president Steve Phelps was asked whether or not the noose in question was in fact a garage door handle.
"I am not sure. I have no information on that."
They have so far refused to release any evidence because obviously its not needed in the current year.
Any presumed racists who might be skeptical of this hate crime should note that Wallace is "Offended" and he thinks you are "Simple-minded" and "afraid of change".
Got em.