A 13 year old boy came home all happy.
His mom asked, "what did you do at school today hunny?"
"Oh i had sex with my teacher," he said calmly.
The mother began to scream and yell and sent him to his room till his father got home.
When the father came home the mother said distroutly and close to tears, "Go talk to your son...he had sex with his teacher today!!!!!!!!!"
The dad with the BIG grin on his face walked upstairs.
He asked his son what happened at school and the son told him.
The dad said, "son im so proud of u im going to get you that bike you have wanted."
They go out and buy the bike and the dad asked him if he wanted to ride it home and the son replied,
"Nah dad my bum is still sore."
so a guy is out for lunch one day, and is craving chilli. he goes to his favorite chilli spot and goes to order. well aparently they were out and had sold the last bowl to a gentleman sitting just a few feet away. he was sitting there staring at the chilli, not touchin it. so the man walks up and offers him double what he paid for it. the man happily agrees and slides him the bowl. the man devours it, bite after bite not payin attention to n e thing but the taste of victory in his mouth. about halfway through the bowl the man looks down and notices a giant black rat lying in the bowl. the man proceeds to throw all the contents of his stomache back into the bowl. the man he had bought the bowl from looks over, "yea, thats about as far as i got too"
little boy walks in on his mom and dad doing it
runs out of the room just a screaming
dad says
maybe i should go check on him
goes to the boys room
the boy is fucking his grandma
dad says
son wht the hell is worng with you
not so funny when its your mom is it dad
A policeman was patrolling a local parking spot overlooking a golf course. He drove by a car and saw a couple inside with the dome light on. There was a young man in the driver's seat reading a computer magazine and a young lady in the back seat knitting. He stopped to investigate. He walked up to the driver's window and knocked. The young man looked up, cranked the window down, and said, "Yes Officer?"
"What are you doing?" the policeman asked. "What does it look like?" answered the young man. "I'm reading this magazine." Pointing towards the young lady in the back seat, the officer then asked, "And what is she doing?" The young man looked over his shoulder and replied, "What does it look like? She's knitting."
"And how old are you?" the officer then asked the young man. "I'm nineteen," he replied. "And how old is she?" asked the officer. The young man looked at his watch and said, "Well, in about twelve minutes she'll be eighteen."
guy come home from work
tells his wife Hun tomorrow me you and the dog are all going fishing
next day comes
she says i don't want to go fishing
he says
fine ill give u three options
1: go fishing
2: give me a blow job
3: take it anal
he says im going to go out to the garage get everything ready be back in 20 minutes
20 minutes he returns
wife says
i going to give u a blow job
he says fine
couple seconds into the blow job she stops and says
Ur dick taste like shit
husband says i know
the dog didn't wanna go fishing either
A horny husband helps his wife setup a password for a computer. he typed "mypenis". she fell on the floor laughing when it said *error:not long enough.