I think the biggest prob here is the grading, and even more important, the picture styles ( I´m talking canon, could be your system equivalent. I´ve learned that the PS is pretty much the most important factor when it comes to creating the basic look of your video. Because unless you are shooting cinema, you propably wont have RAW Video files, and its hard to completely change the look in post production without losing tons of quality.
Usually, that light leaking effects work really great with a rather milky and washed out morning light, which is really hard to get outdoors, especially in the afternoon. your basic look is rather contrasty and too saturated for the leaks to make an impact. also you might have overdone the amount of them.
Personally, I really really really hate direct sunlight in photography aswell as in videography. But that of course is a matter of taste. I would have chosen more shaded locations and used the available light there, maybe even grabbed a LED video light or something.
I just started to get into videography like 2 months ago for my new job, so I´m far from being an expert, but yeah, maybe those pointers help you out m8.
Quite solid work though.