you raped the shit out of the sharpen tool, yo

it's oversharpened and too chaotic.
I see the focal, but there is a too much going on in the tag.
The text is drawing me away from the focal. I can't really comprehend where this tag is going.

Focal should never be centered with a render like that. Not unless you have the skills to compliment it with a decent background... There are so many things wrong with this tag though... I don't want to be mean but I think you need to go look at some tutorials etc.

Practice makes perfect though - keep trying and looking at tutorials - good luck.