By the way bg is made by me not just some space render

I'd like to see it B/W (no green)..I think it might look better that way.

yes... either pure b/w... or add some AMAZING colors

Focal in bottom right corner.

- New one.

too bright
over sharpened, the pixels are showing its so sharp
really shotty job at blending
red thing by left is distracting
colours need work as well
border doesnt make sense

they both look vicious, mine is still better though.

This one is really distracting to look at, mainly due to my eyes being drawn to so many locations.

First of all, typography is supposed to add to a piece, not distract ones eyes away from the focal, as it does here. When there is two colours contrasting greatly, or two shades next to each other, one light and one dark, it creates a contrast that naturally draws ones eyes. Hence, there is a large distraction on the left hand side of the piece, which can be fairly easily fixed, maybe just just simply removing the text, and then maybe making less of a contrast. Here is a basic example of how light contrast achieves drawing the attention: http://i281.photobucket.com/albums/kk203/NaitoTheSage/Uccurseddino.png

Secondly, sharpness and blurring are key to creating depth of field, and placing emphasis on certain points. In your sig, it is sharp in the top left corner on the moon/wing thing, on the skull face thing bottom right, and then again finally on the main girl. This makes the whole piece very chaotic, which can sometimes be a good thing, however in this case is it not. Work on making a single focal with both shading and sharpness. Again with the lighting on top of the skull there is a very bright spot which draws attention away.

Thirdly, the use of colour in a black and white piece is going to be make or break if you want to do it, therefore you have to get it right. You cannot put two focal points in like that, it just doesn't work. The colour needs to be the centrepiece of the work, not just an added feature.

Finally there is such a thing known as 'flow' in the graphics community, that generally is translated to how nicely the signature directs your attention. Yours seems to contradict the natural flow of the render. This is better explained in this tutorial: http://fc01.deviantart.net/fs18/f/2007/130/7/7/Full_Signature_Tutorial_by_Senthrax.jpg

In fact most of what ive already said is in that tutorial, covering all the bases.

Hope that helps a bit

- Tried not over sharpening and working on text placement, I feel like the text is not taking attention away from the focal in this one.

white strips are stupid
too bright again