Feckin wimmins man wtf. So now I'm all settled in a relationship not one but TWO of my ex's have contacted me. Both have turned into amazingly awesome women who are just way too hot to be interested in me. Now BOTH of them want to go out some time for "drinks" AKA HOT DIRTY SEX THAT WILL MAKE YOU FEEL WONDERFULLY ASHAMED TO TELL PEOPLE ABOUT. DIRTY SHIT MAN..just...wrong stuff. So I'm fucking tempted ofc. because I got the penis and everything and I'm one perverted bastard man.
Then tonight to top things off I get an email from my old neighbor who I haven't seen in about 15 years when we were both younger. In elementary school I used to watch this chick undress and dress over and over trying on her clothes. I'M CRAZY ABOUT THIS GIRL HOLY SHIT. It's that one girl...the girl you grew up with that you never got with etc. because she was a goodie goodie blah blah. But now OH NOW she's open minded like wtf. Smokes pot drinks does yoga eats sushi AKA I CAN PUT IT IN HER BUTT. Anyway she emailed me and I called her just then and wow I had a good time talking to her. Now she wants to meet up with me and show me what she does
Professional Massage Therapist. I mean really do women sense when a guy is happy with a woman and feed on that shit like sharks?
Pic very relevant to massaging neighbor
Apparently she's got a black belt and does pro rock climbing. Jesus look at that smile meng.
LOLENDHOROMONERANT.