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There is this guy at work, we will call him Mark. He seemed weird, but I try to be nice to everyone.
So, last Friday Mark came up to me during lunch and asked me if I had any plans that night. Thinking it was just small talk, I said "Nah, I'll probably just sit around my place." He let out a "WEWW! Well it looks like you and I are going to be playing some laser tag tonight." I was really caught off guard because what grown ass man would ask another grown ass man to go play laser tag? But it was too late, he knew I wasn't doing anything and he had me in his trap.
I met him at the laser tag place dressed in what a normal human being would wear. I see Mark from across the parking lot and he is decked out in black tactical gear. He yelled "YOU WILL BE DEAD IN NO TIME PUSSY. I BROUGHT SOME STUFF SO YOU CAN TAC UP." Mind you, this is a family establishment meant for young kids and I am getting all kinds of death stares from parents getting out of their cars. I didn't want to be an ass so agreed to put on his absurd clothing. We walk up to the counter and he you can tell that everyone knows who Mark is. They had the "God damnit, he didn't die this week." look on their faces. We are put into groups with other people and we are probably 20 years older than the next oldest player. We get sent into a room to get our gear and Mark runs and pushes through the little kids to get a gun. He grabs one and yells "DIBS, THIS ONE IS MINE. IT'S GOT SUPERIOR RANGE AND ACCURACY, YALL DON'T STAND A CHANCE." He then started laughing to himself. I was so embarrassed to be seen with this guy. He was like an angry 12 year old in a grown man's body.
We get into the main room and it has all kinds of structures to hid in. Black lights are the only thing lighting the place so it's pretty hard to see. The second we game starts, Mark takes off into the darkness like he is some sort of special forces solider with the United Autism Army. I am walking around, trying to stay hidden and then I hear Mark scream "GOD DAMNIT, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! YOU CAN'T SHOOT ME AND THEN STAND THERE AS I RECHARGE, YOU LITTLE SHIT." Then I hear the one of the employees start yelling "HEY! CALM DOWN! NEXT TIME, YOU ARE DONE." Mark yells back, "SHUT UP ALEX, YOU ARE THE WORST EMPLOYEE HERE." The yelling between them continues and then all of the lights come on. I hurry and get Mark so we can get out of there but the Dad of the kid he was yelling at comes up and starts screaming at me. Before I can explain that it wasn't me, his wife throws her drink at me. Mark calmly looks at me and says, "Dude, what did you do?" I wanted to explode, but I didn't. There is no way that Mark is mentally sound and I didn't want to set him off. I gave him all of his shit back and walked away. I heard him say to the guy beside him "Some people just can't handle LT."
Fucking Mark.