Had a dream where I was teaching HS. It must have been the beginning of the school year because I was trying to do nice/cool things to win over the classroom.

In this case, the nice thing I was doing was offering to bring in some leftover seafood from last night's dinner for the classroom (which sounds like a terrible idea but 🤷‍♂️).

It was snow crab legs + fried food like shrimp and battered fish fillets, so I decided to reheat it in the faculty toaster oven. One of the students chimed in like "aren't you not supposed to reheat seafood in the faculty microwave/toaster oven?" While another student was like "are you allowed to give us lunch like that?" And I responded cavalierly "Psh, no one will care; what are they going to do, fire me?"

In actuality, I really was concerned that they might find me and I'd get in trouble, but I wanted to impress the students, so I sneaked into the faculty lounge and reheated the leftover seafood when no one was there. Then, when it was done heating, I took it out and hid the food inside a napkin bundle. There really wasn't that much food to eat, enough for 2 people—3 or 4 if they deliberately eat less—so I was definitely poised to over-promise and under-deliver.

I had to get the seafood back quick to the classroom before the fried foods turned soggy. However, while making my way back to the classroom, I turned a corner and ran into the principal. He didn't know who I was, but he recognized (either saw or smelled) that I was carrying seafood and likely giving it to students. He yelled at me to stop, so I turned around and started running. While out of sight, I shoved the bundle of seafood into a trashcan to dispose of the evidence. I knew this would cause me to fall through on my promise to the students, but it wasn't worth getting fired over.

I successfully eluded the principal and made my way back to the classroom where the students were waiting for seafood. I informed them that, unfortunately, I was not allowed to give them seafood (blaming the school for my failure). They actually took it well and went to lunch like normal, so it wasn't that bad in the end.

I really wish I could remember this dream, but all I can recollect is that Zach and I were going around town committing random acts of violence GTA-style.

Had a dream where I was part of a military force tasked with traveling into the future to investigate (and maybe intervene) in the fall of mankind, which had been covertly invaded/replaced by alien beings that could take the form of humans.

Our unit landed in my back yard. My lawn and neighbors' lawns had abandoned personal aircraft (resembling spaceships) on them, suggesting there had been a large-scale war in the past.

We investigated the aircraft, but there were no clues. The entire area was unusually quiet, and there were no signs of human life.

I eventually got tired of slowly combing through the area for clues and ran off ahead. I was dressed in a military-grade, close-fitting spacesuit and carrying a futuristic battle rifle, so I felt reasonably safe.

Eventually, I ran into some "people" where my firewood pile used to be. They were all standing in a line, shoulder to shoulder, eating pizza and exchanging small-talk... only everything they were doing was slightly off. The pizza was topped with cheddar cheese, and the pizza was eaten like a sandwich by placing two slices against each other, leaving the crust outside as bread. In addition, their small talk was very awkward and unrealistic (can't remember any specific dialogue). Furthermore, standing in a line was an unusual and impractical way of socializing, and standing in the middle of my lawn was a weird place to do it—no tables or chairs nearby.

As if all of that wasn't weird enough, one of the people had a huge glob of mozzarella cheese melted onto their face, obscuring all facial features. However, this person still looked at me as I approached as if their entire face wasn't covered with cheese, and they somehow didn't suffocate.

I asked the people some questions just to confirm the affected nature of their dialogue. Some of them were clearly alien imposters giving their awkward impression of what it was like to be human... but, ironically, I got the sense that one or two of the humans might legitimately be human, deliberately acting awkward to pass themselves off as aliens. They were trying to signal to me that they were human and in need of help without giving themselves away to the aliens.

I'm not sure how it got to this point, but later on in the dream I started blasting with my rifle. I think we were able to rescue some legitimate humans (and test them for authenticity) while killing a bunch of aliens.

This post was edited by Terps on Jan 18 2023 01:32pm

Had a dream where I got in a car accident (I don't think it was my fault though). The other person involved in the accident was some lady in her late 50s, seemed like poor white trash.

I felt bad for this person being injured, so I offered to let her stay at my house until she could go to the hospital. I thought it'd only be a few hours, but she ended up spending a day... and then multiple days living in my kitchen.

She was a trashy person, making the place messy. One thing I specifically remember was her filling my water pitcher with this cloudy water. I thanked her for filling the water while thinking to myself that I would be throwing out the entire pitcher as soon as she left. It looked like she filled it with dishwater.

Idk how it ended

Had a dream where I was a teenager again, driving age. My dad was alive, but I knew he should be dead. My dad was trying to figure out how to use the wood splitter, but because he used to be dead he was somewhat retarded and couldn't understand basic things and got confused easily. I tried to show him how to use the wood splitter, but he just wasn't getting it.

I had to drive to school, but rather than take my Civic, I decided to take one of those little battery-powered toy children's cars, like those toy Jeeps kids can sit in a steer. However, after going about halfway up the driveway, I realized with a max speed of only a few miles per hour and a very short range, this vehicle would not get me to school in time. I turned around to take the Civic.

My dad was still struggling with the wood splitter. He was in danger of hurting himself because he'd spilled motor oil and/or hydraulic fluid everywhere. Also there were nuts, bolts, and sheet-metal screws everywhere, which was a hazard.


I don't know if it was the same dream or not, but then Me, Chris, Brandon, and my dad were in the basement. The three of us were teenagers. My dad was like "check this out" as he lit a model rocket inside the house and shot it across the basement. It bounced off the ceiling and crashed into a shelf while emitting fiery sparks.

At this point, I guess the dream transitioned to where we were now in a house owned by Chris' parents, only the basement wasn't finished. Also my dad was no longer there. Without any heads-up, Chris decided to start pouring formaldehyde everywhere. Brandon and I were like "Chris wtf are you doing?!" Chris explained that he always meant to clean the basement so he could install carpet, and with Brandon and I there to help, it'd be a lot easier. Brandon and I were actually there to hang out, so this was kind of a dick move. Also, it didn't really explain why he was pouring formaldehyde all over shelves and furniture in addition to the floor.

To make it up to us, Chris made these dessert cups with thick chocolate pudding, whipped cream, and shaved chocolate. I ate mine immediately. However, at the bottom of the cup, Chris also included other random party favors like pencils, a pencil sharpener, cheap little toys, and other little items that a schoolkid would find useful. This was kind of weird, but I ate around it because the dessert was pretty tasty.

After finishing my dessert cup... I think I half-assed actually helping. I mostly just watched Chris work. I had to admit, however, that the basement looked great with carpeting. Chris did a very good job with it. It looked like Chris's parents' actual irl finished basement by the end of it.

Had a dream that was a sequel to the Matrix. I've never seen the 4th Matrix movie, so this was basically my idea for a 4th movie, which may be similar to what already happened.

It had all of the usual cool action scenes and followed the same general plot of there needing to be a chosen one to save us all because the Matrix repeats itself. However, the big change this time is that Trinity identifies as a lesbian and says she's not interested in Neo. However, this time, Neo spawned in the body of a gender-neutral person, so it turned out they were compatible after all.

That was the big hook, I guess. Otherwise, the dream was mostly the same as the trilogy. It was a surprisingly long dream with lots of action, but describing tons of explosions and car crashes just doesn't translate well to text. You'll just have to trust me that it was a cool dream.

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Had a dream where there was a bug invasion in my house. I was a teenager again, and my parents were alive.

I saw a bunch of XL mealworms in the kitchen, which made me panic because they were just out on the middle of the kitchen floor for some reason. I put on a latex glove and tossed them out the window, fistfuls at a time

Then, I realized that the sun room was overrun with stink bugs and hornets.They were getting into the house through a hole in the drywall above the sliding-glass door. I put a sheet of plexiglass over the hole and held it with my hand, but then I realized that this would only work for as long as I held the plexiglass there.

I decided to let go of the plexiglass and get a can of hornet killer spray. I rushed over and got the can (all the way in the pole barn), and when I came back hornets and stink bugs were flying into the kitchen. My dad was now there too, yelling at me for letting insects into the house.

The hole in the drywall was now gigantic, so my dad could only cover part of the hole with the plexiglass; I had to shoot the hornets that got into the house, which I did, and it was a tense process that took good aim. I eventually worked my way to where I killed all of the hornets in the house and was now ready to advance on their nest, which I eventually soaked with spray, just as the can was running out.

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Had a dream where Chris, Brandon, and I were hearing over to a friend's house. This friend wasn't Jason, but it might as well have been because their house was really dingy and messy, and I think we were going there to hang out and play D&D.

When we got there, the house was empty and seemingly no one was home, so we invited ourselves inside and explored. Initially we went to the kitchen to wait, since that's where we planned to play D&D.However, then Chris and Brandon kept exploring other parts of the house for some reason.

We made our way upstairs into the person's bedroom. Brandon picked up this elongated rubbery object because it looked unusual and he was curious what it did. He slapped it in his palm a few times, where it made a nice smacking sound. Then, after handling the object for a minute, either Chris told him or Brandon figured it out on his own that the object was a dildo, at which point he hurriedly tossed it back where he found it.

The three of us went back downstairs and then started loading up some boxes with stuff to take with us. I guess it turned out our purpose in being there was not to play games or hang out but to get some stuff and leave. The stuff was for Brandon to help him furnish his house.

Chris helped me load a small handheld toolbox with stuff to take with us. We then affixed the toolbox to the back of chris's motor scooter. Before we left, the occupant (our nameless friend) came by just in time to greet us and wish us good luck on our return trip.

I began to realize that the only way we were going to get this stuff to point B was if I precariously sat on top of the toolbox on back and rode in the bitch-seat while chris drove the motor scooter. Meanwhile, Brandon sped ahead in a motor scooter of his own because he didn't feel like waiting. Brandon was precariously trying to hold a tall clothes dresser with his left hand and steer with the right hand. Chris and I yelled at him to stop because it looked really dangerous. Chris and I started our motor scooter to follow him, but we only made it like 100ft down the street before we watched Brandon veer off the shoulder and down into a gutter because he couldn't see at all with the dresser in front of him, occupying his view.

I'm almost certain the dream was inspired by watching this video right before going to bed: https://old.reddit.com/r/Whatcouldgowrong/comments/10fzrd9/moving_a_cabinet_by_bike/

Had a dream where I was a kid again, back in daycare.

It was 8pm on christmas day. The daycare personnel were all getting dressed up to go to their family christmas dinner, but they couldn't leave until my parents came to pick me up. I felt really bad because, even though the situation was out of my hands, it was my family's fault, and I knew they were mad at me/us. To top things off, Brittney and this other bitch I went to HS with were there, and they were both making shitty comments about me and my family as if I couldn't hear them.

Eventually my parents arrived. They had been in some kind of heated argument, which greatly delayed their arrival. They were still mad at each other, even in the daycare with me right there next to them. So now I felt bad about them being late + them arguing and being mad at each other.

In real life, my folks only had like 1 really bad argument that I can remember, so it's not like this was a part of my childhood. Not sure why I had this dream.

Had a dream where I was randomly at an old friend's house (Jared from FNM). For context, I probably haven't seen Jared in about a year, and even then, it's not like we were more than just good acquaintances, though he did try to get me a job once and offered career advice at one point.

In any case, I was over at his house to hang out with his teenage son Jack and his son's friend Elliott while Jared was gone, which sounds pretty creepy when you think about it. Jared came home while me and his son were hanging, and before Jared could even say anything, I was like "oops, my bad, should have texted you I was coming over to hang /w your son," hoping that by acknowledging that right off the bat he'd be less angry... but he was no less angry. In a calm but stern voice, he was like, "yes, you should have, now GTFO of my house."

I tried to leave, but it was kind of awkward because he also was leaving at that moment with his son, so we were both going the same direction for a bit while he was being pissed off at me.

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Had a dream where I was at work for a team-building seminar (which is weird because I've never actually physically had to go to the office).

The event was actually being held at a location outside of the office. I was having a hard time finding it with Google Maps because some roads were shutdown. I ended up awkwardly driving on someone's lawn to bypass a shutdown road, but then I realized their lawn had a terrace I couldn't dive over, so I had to back out, causing me to fuck up their lawn even more.Also I started following some cars that I thought were also headed to work-retreat, but it turned out they were just going somewhere else.

Anyway, after getting lost, I eventually showed up late, leaving a terrible first impression.

The seminar venue was weird: the head boss of the local office was at a podium, and before the podium, everyone was supposed to sit on a giant mattress (no fitted sheet, literally just an uncovered mattress that was not new) that was dozens of feet long+wide. It was awkward to be on a mattress with employees. Also weird: this one girl who was kind of cute kept leaning up against me without even acknowledging my existence. I'd try to move away, since I didn't know if she did it by accident, and then she'd adjust to keep leaning on me.

Anyway, while all this was going on, my boss stopped his speech to ask me if I had a problem, since I guess my movements were distracting him and interrupting his speech. I apologized and remained still for the rest of it. I felt like, at this point, between arriving late and being a distraction, I was probably going to get fired.

I just had the most fucking bullshit dream. Literally was just my wake-up alarm sound… 44 minutes early

Had a dream where I was on some kind of field trip in like middle school. We went to the Conowingo Dam to explore the water from the shore.

Somehow or another, Brandon and I jumped onto this island in the middle of the Susquehanna, but then the tide started rising and we were stranded.

Amid the rising tide and increasing flow of water, I accidentally dropped my Dell XPS 13 (within its case, so it floated for a second) into the water. I had a split-second decision to make to either jump in after it or lose it forever. Instead, I looked around for a stick, but by then the PC case was too far away to retrieve without jumping in after it. And then it eventually sank and disappeared.

Obviously I blamed myself for being clumsy and for not immediately jumping in after it, but I was also a little mad at Brandon for not jumping in after my laptop either. Seemed like he could have tried, too.

A minute later, some other classmates came to help, which made me feel bad because I didn't want to trouble them. A couple of girls went diving in the upper-level above the dam, which 1) seemed gross because there's all kinds of flotsam/trash in the water above the dam, 2) is extremely dangerous, as they could get sucked into the turbines, 3) seemed hopeless because you'd only be able to feel around with your hands because the visibility in the water there is zero, and 4) was utterly pointless because the laptop was bricked by this point anyway. I didn’t say anything though because I didn’t want to invalidate their efforts

This post was edited by Terps on Mar 4 2023 01:43am