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Jan 30 2018 02:18pm
11/18/17

Had a dream that was a lot like the movie National Treasure with Nick Cage. Me, Nick Cage, and a few other people decided that we had to find and then steal some flute made by da Vinci. To do this, we first deceived some airport into letting us into where the airplanes are, and we borrowed/stole a private jet. Also, at the airport, they had those boosters like in F-Zero X, so when we were driving our golf cart to the private jet we were going to steal, the golf cart kept hitting those boost things and it was going uncomfortably fast, almost hitting other people.

Eventually, we made it to the museum (The Smithsonian, probably). We went on a guided tour of the museum and pretended to listen. At some point, they did like a thing where they passed around some books to read and had a discussion. I read some 15th-century text, which I was writing in with pen, and eventually had this ah-ha moment where I figured out where the flute is.

So then we all broke into teams, since I had to steal the flute, and other people had to disable the security system. The other group did their thing, and I went into the archival storage area and eventually found the flute... although it wasn't the real flute; it was meant to trick people into thinking it was the real flute. What I had to do next (which I had figured out from reading the book) was insert the flute into the asshole of this marble statue. It didn't seem possible, but I slid the mouth end of the flute into the guy's marble asshole, and it gave way like flesh. After it was halfway in there, I turned it clockwise like a key, and a secret door opened. Behind it was the real flute, which was a clarinet with chunky 24k gold buttons and shit, real nice. Amazing, since da Vinci had apparently invented the clarinet centuries before anyone else.

So I took the clarinet, but we weren't out of the woods yet. The security people were onto us. They asked to check my bag, but I had discretely handed off the clarinet to someone else in our party. We kept discretely handing it off until eventually I got it back, and I went home with it. Weird part was that I lived in like a McMansion now, and my parents were some random upper-class people I had never met. Anyway, I hid the clarinet in this crawlspace beneath the porch and figured it was safe. Wanted to wait a week or so for the heat to die down. But then like a day or two later the government crashed the place because my asshole rich father had told the government on me (I was trying to keep my illicit activities a secret from my family). Apparently he found the clarinet and thought telling the government on me was the right thing to do. So I adeptly swiped the clarinet and fled the place and met back up with Nicholas Cage and the gang, and they congratulated me on stealing the clarinet and high-fived and stuff.

This post was edited by Terps on Jan 30 2018 02:19pm
Member
Posts: 35,677
Joined: Jan 19 2004
Gold: 79,366.46
Jan 30 2018 02:18pm
11/19/17

Had a dream where I fell in with a bad crowd who went around stealing things. We lived in an early 00s Ford Explorer.

I went on a spree of stealing pizzas, like right as the customers were leaving /w their pizzas in hand. It was fine on a small scale because I had Chris on the inside to coerce other officers into not pursuing me, but after the scale got too large Chris said it wasn't worth him risking his job for me. I wanted to be mad at him for betraying me, but I understood; would have done the same in his shoes, most likely.

Eventually I got caught, and there were like a dozen cops chasing me. We were listening to the chase on the radio, and the radio announcer suggested some kind of technicality where if we successfully lost them, we'd be off the hook (GTA style, I guess). I thought maybe we could evade them, so I told the driver to go off-road.

Eventually the dream kind of shifted, and we wound up in this cave full of resistance fighters, kind of like the post-apocalyptic future in the Matrix or Terminator movies. We just left the Explorer and tried to blend in. The police slowly and carefully questioned everyone in the cave (probably around 200 people). I was one of the last ones in for questioning. I realized that it was more like an interrogation, where they put this shock helmet on you (which was rigged with post-apocalyptic leftover parts), and when you lie, you get electrocuted, like bad. So it was clear this polygraph was going to oust me, I'd get arrested or killed, and the dream would end, so I just woke up instead.
Member
Posts: 35,677
Joined: Jan 19 2004
Gold: 79,366.46
Jan 30 2018 02:20pm
12/7/17

Had a dream where Brandon got a new Jeep with really fat tires. He was driving on the road, looping back and forth to show us what it could do (as if no one else uses the road). Eventually he lost control and slammed into an embankment. He was unconscious, but the car was still being revved full-throttle into the dirt, going nowhere. The fat tires of his Jeep were getting really hot and wearing down into nothing. I went inside and called 911. Then Chris followed in with Brandon, who was still unconscious, wrapped up in some kind of blanket in his arms (like a baby I guess). He was doing absolutely nothing to support his neck, which was craned back as far as it could go. Then Chris kind of ham-fistedly tossed Brandon onto my bed, which I didn’t really like because it meant I had to burn my old mattress and find somewhere else to sleep.
Member
Posts: 35,677
Joined: Jan 19 2004
Gold: 79,366.46
Jan 30 2018 02:21pm
12/12/17

Had a dream where chris surprised me by bringing his baby over. He had a salt and pepper-colored scruffy beard. And he kept trying to talk, but it sounded like someone with a severe stutter. And I made fun of him for being barely able to walk (inb4irony).

Also had a dream where there was some kind of professional meeting at the school. All of the professors had to come up with a new learning activity, and we went around in groups to try each other's activities. The activity I came up with was where one person would get shackled by the wrists from a chain above the ceiling, and then everyone else would pelt their kidneys as hard as they could with baseballs. The scientific reasoning behind the activity was to have your body piss out the old, polluted blood, which would make your body cleaner.
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Posts: 35,677
Joined: Jan 19 2004
Gold: 79,366.46
Jan 30 2018 02:21pm
12/28/17

Had a dream where we were playing dnd, but dnd was real life. We all made characters, but I had to do something at work (teaching or whatever), so you guys all went on ahead without me while I had to work, which kind of ticked me off.

After I was done whatever I had to do at work, you all were ahead by varying degrees. Brandon (basically like level 19), was power-gaming and end-game soloing elder dragons and shit, clearly no desire to wait up, not even mad because I expected nothing less. Zach was completely MIA, doing his own thing because he was on his own weird work schedule, plus he forgot to add our account names, so he was disconnected from the party (like lvl 8 or something). Again, not surprised. Chris was sort of close to my level (like level 3) and not real far into the story (which was linear), but he refused to wait up for me, which pissed me off way more than Brandon and Zach going on ahead because, wtf, if you just wait like a few minutes we can play together.

You all were doing all of these cool battles, slaying monsters and shit (really cool cinematics in my mind, like Chris was fighting an IRL Shenk the Overseer in the dark, desolated ruins of New York), actually having fun playing the game, while I had to power-level just to catch up. I had to level up on my own by doing bicycle wheelies in the porch over and over again. Also there was a grizzly bear in the room, but after a while the bear settled down and we established a rapport. I was pretty much playing the game out of spite, just doing wheelies over and over again all by myself just to catch up, not having any fun whatsoever. You fuckers ruined the game.
Member
Posts: 35,677
Joined: Jan 19 2004
Gold: 79,366.46
Jan 30 2018 02:22pm
1/18/18

Had a dream where I was driving the Nissan 300zx I had back in HS, only it was unrealistically fast and the brakes didn't really work. Unsurprisingly, I went out of control and drove into a snowy field. Some cops saw me, so then I tried to evade them, going out of control even more. Eventually the officer caught me, so he pulled me over. He asked why I was in such a hurry. I told him my Playstation wasn't working. He replied "Boy, you'd better not be lying to me," and then let me off the hook with a warning.

Also had a dream where I somehow got talked into going to a Christmas party with all of Chris's family, which I really didn't want to go to. The party was held in some shitty little trailer home, and I was self-conscious about where to sit, since I brought this big bouncy ball to sit on (like what we had in daycare), but there wasn't much room for it. It was a metaphor for real life, since I get self-conscious about where I'm sitting /w my wheelchair sometimes, especially at gatherings.
Member
Posts: 35,677
Joined: Jan 19 2004
Gold: 79,366.46
Jan 30 2018 02:22pm
1/25/18

Had a dream where I was cleaning out my room. I kept finding old boxes of cereal that I had forgotten about. There were several all over the place, but specifically I remember finding an old box of frosted mini wheats from 2007 and thinking "wow, I had forgotten all about this," and an unopened box of cinnamon toast crunch from about the same era, thinking "wow, this might be worth something" (because unopened). Then I cleaned out an old toy chest that I haven't had in my room since I was a kid, and there were sticky pieces of captain crunch at the bottom and dried peas, which I thought was gross.

Also had a dream last night, where real-life worked kind of like modding Skyrim or Oblivion (I was reading how to mod Oblivion before going to sleep). I specifically remember installing a mod that gave me a wrist watch, which I thought looked poorly-rendered so I uninstalled it. I also installed a mod that gave me a new fluffy white dog (kind of like Barney, but fluffier). Also I bet d2jsp forum gold on the Eagles, but forum gold was like real, tangible gold, but still digital I guess--like it somehow felt digital and it was nearly weightless.
Member
Posts: 35,677
Joined: Jan 19 2004
Gold: 79,366.46
Jan 30 2018 02:23pm
1/30/18

Had a dream where I was driving home from UMD. For some reason, 95 was shut down by a republican convention of some sort. All traffic had to go to BWI, where I had to pay for a plane to take me home. It was one of the GOP's usual schemes to pay back one of their big campaign backers (airline industry I guess), and all of the big names were there from Washington, notably Mitch McConnell and Rick Santorum, who were there directing traffic and handing out campaign flyers. Rick Santorum was very nice in helping me fill out the correct form for entry into the airport.

I was navigating through BWI, which was totally different from the way it is IRL. I didn't know where anything was, so I was just rolling through the huge sprawl looking for the ticket booth. About an hour into my search, I realized that I wouldn't be able to get my car home, and that I should just drive around the stretch of 95 that was shut down. So I turned around and started heading back to where my car was parked.

At some point in my journey, my foot fell off of the footplate on my wheelchair. However, I didn't notice it until I was almost back at my car, so my foot was worn down to the bone like an old pencil eraser. I didn't feel comfortable rolling around like that, so I reasoned that I should probably get medical help, even if I couldn't feel it anyway. I went looking for an ambulance (kind of like how you hail a cab), but couldn't find one. At some point during this search, because I was favoring my other leg, I tore my right bicep (yes, I meant to say bicep). So at this point, with injuries mounting, I figured I should just call 911 and have them handle it.

After calling 911, I then decided to wait in the food court area, where I tried to take some napkins to absorb the blood coming out of my foot, but they had a very strict policy on their napkins, so I could only take a couple after much negotiation with some random cashier. At the food court, I ran into some old friends from auto shop class (Bobby, Sean, Tony) and we caught up on things. Bobby and Tony were living normal lives, but Sean had become a drug addict who was big into the music scene. We also talked some shit. Sean thought it'd be a funny joke to pour hot sauce in my eyes, which added another injury to the ever-growing list.

Finally medevac arrived, but instead of a helicopter, it was a jet plane. I thought this was absurd at first, but I talked myself into believing it made sense, since we were at an airport (idk how it eventually landed on the roof of the hospital though). They put me on a stretcher and loaded me into the plane in a very rough fashion. I was uncomfortably close to being vertical and falling out as they loaded me on. Also, they brought my wheelchair, but I didn't like how they didn't put the brakes on, so the wheelchair was just rolling around loose on the floor. Also, the door was open while we were flying, so my wheelchair could have just rolled right out of the plane, which further concerned me.

Eventually I made it to the hospital, where the surgeon give me some emergency eye-wash for my hot-sauce eyes, bandaged up my foot, and sutured up my bicep.
Member
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Joined: Jan 19 2004
Gold: 79,366.46
Feb 2 2018 02:04pm
Had a dream where my wife died of a heart attack. She fell to the floor and made that unrealistic rag-doll effect like in an Elder Scolls game. I don't have a wife.
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Joined: Jan 19 2004
Gold: 79,366.46
Feb 4 2018 12:38pm
Had a dream where Trish's family and friends (the people who do the quarter auctions) were hosting some kind of giant get-together where everyone played Clue. I kind of didn't want to go, but I forced myself to mingle and socialize.

When I got there, it was a giant room with like 100's of people inside from various walks of life, a very random mix of people all dressed to different standards (some wearing white trash attire, others wearing formal business suits, everyone socializing all the same). I gathered with several strangers around a shitty plastic table with a game board and little plastic game pieces. I was shocked and delighted to get to play as Colonel Mustard for once, since Chris wasn't there.

The game of Clue wasn't really true to the game. Instead, everyone had to scavenge irl for human body parts that were hidden and scattered throughout the Delta/Cardiff area. I clearly remember finding a human ribcage in a rocky fence next to the sidewalk. Also the murderers were real people. For one game, the murderer was some guy who worked at the car garage in Delta; for another game, the murderer was some obscure former Raven special teams player.

Two rounds of Clue were held, and then there was an optional third game, which was hosted by Chris's parents at their old home in Cardiff in the evening. I went to that too, although I don't remember the rest of the dream. I think it might have ended with a car chase through Cardiff.

This post was edited by Terps on Feb 4 2018 12:59pm
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