YEeeeeeeEEHaw! Upgrades all around! I stripped weapons, armors and rings off the slain bodies of my enemies: from ghastly graveyards to sinister snakes and phantom puppets.

There was a Medusa lady who dwelt in the deep recesses of a lair filled with snakes large and small. It was a perilous journey to get to her each time and a hard fight. However, she never failed to drop... Sprite? The distinctive green vial fizzled with lemon lime flavors, refreshing to the palette and livened up my legs to run faster too! But alas, just as with orange juice, I hit my upper limit on how much Sprite I could drink. Why does Oryx have to torture us so? Why can't I drink more Sprite??

The next foray was into a magical land filled with gnomes and elves and unicorns. This was a child's fantasy come true, except these magical creatures didn't spew out rainbows of joy- they spewed out rainbows of pain. There didn't seem to be an end to them either: I would walk two rooms away just to find that new creatures took the place of the old. I lost track of how much time I spent in there, though I seemed to notice that one special room seemed to hold particularly monstrous version of the otherwise cute and cuddly creatures. These dropped all sorts of beverages, from Pink Lemonade to Cola to



I had seen another squishy white bag that I had seen from the OJ farmer. This one seemed to contain ... a gigantic... piece of candy. I could not help but wonder what kind of twisted mind Oryx had to create an armor made of candy. I took a lick of the armor and it really was sweet like cotton candy. Still, it seemed to provide great protection, even beyond my armor made from the scales of dragons. This world is starting to confuse me more and more.

This post was edited by so13eit on Dec 22 2014 10:26pm

BAHAHAHAHHAHA I love this story!!!! I sure hope this great warrior stays safe so I may follow his perilous journey to the end!

I really enjoy reading this x)

Gl man on your quest

Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas! Real warriors spend the holidays with their warrior families and I did no different. I took time off slaying monsters and spent most of the time was spent in my comfy robe of Tlatoani, showing off my warrior abs and eating and drinking. It got so extreme that I began to see traces of fat bubble around that solid 6-pack and I knew that it was time to head back out.

I descended at once into a dark red portal which led me to the fiery shores of hell. The heat in this place was almost unbearable as lava bubbled all around me and demons littered the narrow halls. Demons of all shapes and forms tried to play peekaboo with me- hiding in bunches around corners and jumping with fireballs and claws as I walked by, but none stood to my sword made from the souls of dragons. There were many dead ends in this winding dungeon, but at last I made it to the stadium at the end where an archdemon and his white demons stood awaiting me. The archdemon was able to transform big and small but could not stand up my might. Upon his death, he dropped a vial of demon blood and cola, of which I made no attempt to rationalize. I had learned that these vials were meant to be drank and so I chugged both. The cola hardened my skin and the demon blood, though bitter and nasty, made my wounds heal faster. In my last trip here, I drank one last cola and felt the familiar nausea to cola as I had for OJ and Sprite in the past.

My next adventure was into a laboratory filled with scientific abominations. There were grotesque creatures big and small of all sorts of different colors. Instead of lava covering the floors, there were pools of green liquid that - MEOW MEOW MEOW. I scurried my furry paws into water and transformed back into my muscular warrior self. Though fascinating, I avoided these green pools at all cost in case the transformation would be at some point permanent. At the end was the twisted scientist himself who did nothing but run around in circles and attempt to throw some potions at me. He fell fast, and dropped a strange emblem. Could this be some kind of key?

I next descended into the icy caverns which were a welcome change from the fiery shores of hell. However, as hard as I tried I couldn't walk straight, always sliding and occasionally falling down (to my shame). Here I bought the yetis of mythical lore who apparently vomit smaller yeti and weird bat things that spat out smaller weird bat things. Weird. The boss of the liar below kept spazzing and flying around everywhere but quickly dropped a humougous golden treasure chest, in which I found a famed armor designed for the most powerful demon lords. What was it doing in a cave like this?

Lights! Camera! Action!!! I decided to take a break and go to the theater to watch a play, not knowing that it was a deathtrap. The cute little puppets, some of which resembled me weren't performing a play- they were trying to kill me! Wave after wave the little puppets fell as I hunted down the foul creature behind this. I finally found a big clown who claimed he was the puppet master sitting in a big room. He refused to give me a refund for my ticket so it was going to be a fight to the death. He was a worthy opponent, able to knit together evil puppets on the go and duplicate himself into many forms. Up until his very last breath he would not give me a refund and so I put an end to him and found another treasure chest. This one held a little jester colored hat and feeling a bit giddy, I put it above my helmet.

love this so much!

I am disgusted with myself. But first things first.

I descended into the liar of Count Dracula himself and could not help but feel a horrific chill go down my spine as I felt the ghosts of my ancestors bewailing that place. The bats that plagued the area bit hard and released a toxin in my bloodstream that made me groggy and run sideways and stumbbling for a few seconds. There were dark and shadowy wolves that barely scratched me but left wounds that bled profusely for a few seconds before they closed up. I fought my way to Dracula who transformed into swarms of bats but just floated there if I stood outside the room that he was in instead of pursuing me. Okay. Learning this, the boss fell quickly and yielded a pretty white bag with a pretty white-bound book. As hard as I tried, I couldn't understand the cryptic words in the book. I would have to try later at home with my nifty robe on.

Dragons of all colors! (Are they dragons of the rainbow?) These creatures were as fierce as the stories made them out to be and I could not help but stand in the back lines, only occasionally poking in and slashing the dragons a few times. What I found especially interesting is that my natural leadership skills endowed by my helmet allowed me to stand in the back lines and shout random battlecries which strengthened them to charge forward in a frenzy and attack the dragons. With much shouting gibberish, the dragons fell by the might of my small army, one of which dropped a spiffy blue cloth from a dragon hide that I prompted wore. I felt a bit mismatched, wearing a jesters hat and dragon skin but it would have to do.

Now to why I feel disgusted. I had already learned that these little vials were meant to be drunk no matter how weird it looked when I came across a familiar dark yellow liquid. It was urine. It stank. And I drank it. And I threw up a bit in my mouth. That's all I will say about that.

I did come across one final potion that I had never tried from one of the golden chests in the dragon liar. It had the color of the sky about it, though it was smelled so nasty that I couldn't even think about drinking it. I vowed that I would never drink this last potion, though people told me that it would give me more health. I would rather die sooner than drink that.



And finally. I was fighting the dreaded Oryx himself in his castle and had slain him yet again. He wailed that he would return, though I knew that if I went home he would miraculously respawn yet again. He always left behind a locked door as he fled and I could never figure out how to open it. In one of these raids, (since I just like slaying him so much, that jerk.), one of my companions pulled out a familiar item. It was that shiny emblem that I had found earlier! He put it into the keyhole of the door and it opened!

It was a wine cellar and things clicked in my mind. This was why this world made no sense. Oryx must have been more often than not drunk out of his mind when he put things in order, leaving vials of urine to.... nevermind, not talking about that. I rushed forward to slay his drunken fool self, though I found that when drunk, he was far more powerful than I had ever faced. He shot out a rain of shots in concentrated arcs that were devastating and spawned endless minions that were hard to put down. Luckily, my companions took to the fight with me and together we brought him down. And the bag that followed delighted me.

It was a sword bestowed by the gods and not for demons, but for humankind. The hallowed weight echoed in my hands... and I knew this would FINALLY be the end of people whispering "ppe? ppe? ppe? ppe?" in my ears as I walked by...

This post was edited by so13eit on Jan 6 2015 12:45am

luckiest kid ever

A much needed update: the 6 picture edition!



With my new sword bestowed by the gods for humankind, the slaying was quick and the loot dropped aplenty. I looted a staff with cosmic powers and a girly pink bow from the bodies of my enemies but none of these weapons suited my style (especially not the girly pink bow). From one of the horrific beastly creations, I found a unique ring that shined black and oozed with experimentation, so I decided to try it.

I also drank the last of the vials of drinks that I could stomach: cough syrup, demon blood and pink lemonade. I felt that I had achieved the greatest wisdom, healing and strength that I could possibly be and it was quite a good feeling. I was able to decipher the symbols in the white tome that was now sitting on my bookshelf and it seemed to indicate magical healing powers that could cure various sicknesses, from blindness to confusion to blood loss. Knowing this didn't even interest me as I was born to fight and inspire, not heal.

I heard of a legendary blade that was wielded by the evilest demons, capable of slaying multiple enemies with one swift blow. I learned that only the chosen archdemons of the shores of hell carried this magnificant weapon. I felt that a great warrior such as myself should weird the best of both realms: the sword bestowed on humankind as well as the Demon blade. I swore that it was only then that I would stop carrying my trusty long sword. Also... urine.

Goals:
7/8
Dblade
1381 fame (more famous than my first warrior)

Nice-to-haves:
Ubhp / Bracer
Juggernaut
Acrop

wow! very very nice progress, let me know if you ever wanna duo/run any shatters with my ppe pally! gl on dblade etc!