So few days ago I watched this movie "The Nortman" and while my expectations for a movie based on vikings and/or viking culture were high, they were not met at all.

We have had vikings and last kingdom among other things (norsemen on the funny side of things)

I stopped watching vikings when they decided to go with unproven and speculative stories about that time and basically copied it like they would copy a comic and then make a film of it.

It is not at all proven how Ragnar Lodbrok died. Many things about his sons are also entirely speculative.

long story short, stopped watching somewhere in the middle I think. Did not watch the new vikings show yet.

But I really liked how they showed the viking life in the first few seasons of "vikings".


I was hoping that "the northman" would be a good movie and the ratings suggested the same.

everybody is entitled to their own opinion and so am I:


the movie fcking sucks.

I thought it had a slow start but the whole movie is slow (does not pick up any pace). The whole revenge arc is terrible, the whole "accept the slave-life to be close to your enemy" is fcking stupid because he had so SO many opportunities to "get even" and straight up murder them all in their sleep or anything else.

Characters were terrible (like how cringe he was as a boy and the whole howling like a wolf or barking like a dog thing omfg please be more cringe)

--> what the fuck was that in the beginning with the burping and farting... man those are not sounds that prove that you are a wolf or a warrior...those are sounds that prove that you are a moron, high on mushroom stew

--> I think I stopped watching 3/4 in (2h20 movie so after 90+ minutes) and just started skipping scenes to get to the end but even lost motivation for that and just closed it.


tldr:

vikings (First few seasons) good
last kingdom (in the beginning) good but meh over time
norsemen (funny all the way through but too short)


"The northman" - ridiculously trashy shit on a stick movie that is filled with cringe and boredom and could not bring myself to sit through it's entirety.

I cringed even harder when I read some of the reviews on rotten tomatoes and how people still try to praise that garbage.






final thoughts:
you can never EVER go by movie reviews especially by those on rotten tomatoes or wherever else.


some of the best movies I ever watched, had scores on imdb in the range of 5 - 6 (out of 10 afaik) while some really REALLY trashy movies had much higher scores.

Imo, it wasn’t too bad. It’s one of those weird movies. Vikings were brutal fucks that dominated Europe for a while. The movie did well in that regard.

I really enjoyed it. It was a true film & a nice change of pace from the marvel-style movies. It was like The Green Knight meets Braveheart. The raid scene was phenomenal. The Skarsgard bro & Ethan Hawk absolutely killed it. Yeah, I thought it was pretty dope.

Just because a movie deviates from that formula doesn't mean it's good ;P

That being said I thought it was meh as well. After Ethan Hawke it went downhill too lol.

What is your definition of a Movie vs a Documentary? ... one is bullshit and the other is based on some form of fact or hypothesis right? (unless the movie states: Based on True events).

True, I agree with your opinion is based on your interpretation, I however disagree that you actually know what is historically correct when you are only judging things based on what YOU were TAUGHT or CHOSE to look into.

Here is a fun fact... some historians believe that Norseman (Vikings) traveled all the way to New Zealand by ship ... basically the South Pole before New Zealand was chartered by Able Tasman and before James Cook (recorded as the first European) to physically land on NZ soil. The funniest thing though, these Historians make claims because they found Arrow heads, where the vikings use to use... did you ever see in the Viking shows you watched where Vikings used a Bow and Arrow?

Hey, just my opinion, it is just a movie right... it isn't factual... and you only watch it based on your interpretation of entertainment you want to get from it... thus your post is 100% correct for YOU... I haven't seen it, I personally don't care if I do or don't.. and I am 50% Danish. Ouch, my ancestors are livid with me right now...

I posted for a laugh, not a preach... think on it more as you get older.

Could've told you from just the name of the director that someone like you wouldn't enjoy the movie. Just wait for the next MCU movie you attention span lacking brainless child.

Arthouse and the unique style of Robert Eggers isn't for everyone. I personally loved The Norseman, just like I loved his other 2 full-length movies. In fact, I think he's one of the most interesting directors working today. To each their own, of course.

Comparing the movie to other Viking Age inspired movies and shows feels a bit pointless to me, when each respective creative vision is completely different.
But, similar to the Vikings History Channel show, a lot of creative liberties in the form of altering/dramatizing history have been taken in the name of creative expression (in layman's terms: to make it less dry and more accessible).
I don't see this a problem, though. After all this is art, not a Viking Age Ph.D.thesis/dissertation aiming for 100% historical accuracy.

But again, to each their own.

I'm gonna watch it tonight.

It's more of an artistic movie rather then make any sense. The story is so dumb and simplistic. Revenge, kill kill kill no after thought about anything. Too many plot holes where he could of killed his enemies yet didn't.
I personally didn't enjoy it but I have friend who loves these kind of movies, shrug...