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Feb 6 2023 10:36am
Not everything deserves a comment or a response.





What does then? Nothing now.
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Feb 7 2023 06:33am
I've decided to let go of it


Because it's hard for me to read the Bible when I'm on it.





Man shall not live by bread alone but by every word that comes from God shall man live.


Edit:
Yo I wanted to read about elijah and Elisha


But my brain wasn't working no more.





I wasn't running on the Holy Spirit.



I was running on my own efforts.


Even now I am thinking about ketosis and trying to phsyiologize what the body experiences during a fasting state.



That's fine but it all has to be felt out.

This post was edited by redExorcist on Feb 7 2023 06:36am
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Feb 8 2023 11:52am
I tried it for twelve hours.





Now I'm back on the original regimen.




Stomach feels odd like I had to much lactose




I'm at work again but I'm feeling a bit tweaky right now.





My right leg is bouncing and my stomach makes me wanna lie down on my stomach.


I just pooped
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Feb 9 2023 06:28pm
Tomorrow will be another day for coin

Maybe I'll be able to help someone


Today was a nice day
Member
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Feb 10 2023 07:47am
Silence

I'm here Lord

I have made so any errors as a human



I don't deserve anything




I feel low.




In the color of depravity


Dust and ashes
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Feb 15 2023 11:36am
Zerosong zero

Flat
.I've flattened it



Because the hole is closed for now.


We are in standby mode.
Member
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Feb 17 2023 08:46am
Eyes that accept


No judgment


I'm not here to resist the enemy




I don't believe in resisting


I don't believe in losing





Not with my strength



But by your love



I will escape many fires

Unscathed
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Mar 21 2023 08:11am
Remembering what God did for me in Egypt


Remembering that he brought me to the east approximately 3 years ago.


I haven't been here for that long, have I?


Chels pay anu


That was the group.





O well. Since then things have become better. I have a house, thanks be unto god.

I take care of my parents and my wife and two children.


The bills are all paid for and god is cleaning up my debt faster than a Dyson.




God has blessed me with so much.





And yet I think about what has recently happend. I'm starting to lose control aren't I?






Hey yeah I told everyone on jsp that I was losing control


And I told god that too.





Things needed to be adjusted by a small margin maybe.


But most importantly it was how I handled blessings and cursings.






Being able to identify a blessing and cursing, and being willing to ask god for healing. And to stop the behavior that is invoking said curse.






Demon of suicide.
Curse of perversion
Demon of perversion
Demon of lust

Curse of poverty



The reversal of said curse but not necessarily amounting to total sufficiency.



Not true. God is providing fully for everything. All my expenses are covered. I need to be a better servant to my lord.



Lord I am sorry for the dirty curses I have picked up over all these years. And the unclean spirits that dwell with me.



And my sins and my hardness of heart. And my incompetence and my weakness.



Have mercy upon me,
Even as Jesus had mercy upon the tax collector.
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Mar 24 2023 06:04pm
Got kinda antsy and broke down today at the smallest thing



Was gonna assemble the computer upstairs.



I did , everything went well.


But before my wife went upstairs I kinda spazzed on her





I was all like short of breath and at the verge of tears because everything was so messy. I got overwhelmed by the mess .






At 8pm we put the kids to sleep and the house is alright. We did a lot of cleaning and laundry.







What upsets me and what I told my wife was that I could hardly tolerate how messy our house as become over the winter.




That's the issue with winters. I don't get much opportunity to clean and stuff. It's hard to throw things out.




Hence "spring cleaning"



But I guess we kinda started early. It's good to express to each other our concerns and worries





With regard to the work situation and the performance plan... Like nostalgia said they might escalate to fire (which they say is the whole point of performance plans) makes sense but.


No weapon formed against me shall remain. I may feel scared but for a moment.





I am fragile. Today we hung a cross in our room. We made minor improvements based on the little resources we had.







1. I have no money so I have to keep working.
2. I don't even get days off to clean the house
3. My wife is swamped taking care of the kids




Tldr: I really wanna clean up my life physically and spiritually but it feels like I am encountering a lot of resistance.






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