this some rough shit homie, thats just horrible..

Well, we have been talking here and there the past month.
I got super lucky to find out she didn't have the money to hire an attorney and file against me.
I convinced her not to file and that we can just write our own parenting plan and not get the state involved.
Sucks but I have to play nice. Luckily I never blew up on her and made my situation worse even though no one has ever hurt me this bad in my entire life.
I have my kid on saturdays and give him back on sunday afternoons. That's all until I get onto dayshift which obviously i'm going to try for.
I agreed to do a monthly child support payment and we came to a reasonable amount. I don't want to abandon my child by any means, I just didn't need the state telling me some ridiculous amount that would halt my life.

The only problem now is that since it's not going through the state I am basically leaving my child unprotected if she goes batshit, but I have no choice unless I want to lose my house.
But if I did take it to the state then I would just get even more fucked, men are dogshit and women are perfection in their eyes.
As long as I can see him then fuck it.

Before we started working on the parenting plan I told her I had to get some shit off my chest
Told her that she hurt me more than anyone else ever has and that I would have done anything to try and make it work including professional help, but I am finally letting go of her.
She basically told me she didn't give a fuck and she is completely emotionally detached from me.
I asked her if she was ever actually happy with me the 10 years we were together and she says she had "happy moments".
She said she is sorry for how everything happened and that it was wrong, but in the same sentence said that she doesn't consider herself a cheater. lmao.
I left it there. Shit boggles my mind.

How can she NOT consider herself a cheater lmfao??? Sending spread eagle pics on my bed in my house that I pay for while I'm also paying for our wedding. If the dude lived in our state she would have been fucking him this whole time no doubt.
If she's not a cheater, then what does she have to be sorry for? If she's not then what was "wrong about the way it happened"?
Literally in denial because her dad cheated on her mom twice and is now marrying the woman he cheated with.
She always talked shit about both of them growing up. Her grandpa did the same to her grandmother and she even talked mad shit about him too.

I'm just going to keep my mouth shut and find solace in the fact that she is in denial that she has become exactly what hurts her the most throughout her life and one day her veil is going to drop and she's going to have to face herself for all of her fucked up decisions.
I hope it kills her to look at our son and realize all the pain and confusion he's going to be feeling is 100% her fault.
It just sucks that a person like that gets primary custody of my innocent son. What kind of morals and values is this moron going to be teaching my son? What kind of morals or values CAN an idiot like that teach a child?
Fuck. At least I have my house and I can still be there for him even though everything is fucked beyond belief.

Thanks for the support everyone.

This post was edited by UmadLoL on Jan 12 2022 04:27pm

Stay strong my guy.

Dont know the Rules over in ur state but better keep everythink you paid for the Kid. Wouldnt be cool it she decide one day to tell you never paid anything and wants it.

Paying her through PayPal so I have records and I am labeling it as child support.

Feel bad man just hope you learned from it. Never get back with a girl you have been with before and never take a "break". You deserve to find the one for you. I would just focus on myself for a while. Consider yourself lucky now you can go find the one you love just forget about the money.

Typically I wouldn’t have tried to rekindle something with a girl, but it was pretty formative years that we were separated etc, we both felt like we grew from where we previously were. But nah I got you man I’m never doing that shit again. Just gonna focus on my drumming and bass and let my anger out that way, more important than trying to rebound haha

I don't know what state you line in but in my home state most of the judges are elected. These judges have to disclose who donates to their campaign just like any other elected official and you can look it up. When going to court you can look up what lawyers donated the most to this judges campaign and HIRE THOSE LAWYERS. Since you were never married she is going to have a hard time taking your house (at lease in my state) but will probably get some child support IF she gets placement. On the bright side you got an AMAZING SON out of this whole ordeal! You'll be better off in the long run. It may seem ultra shitty at the moment but you'll be better off in the long run. She won't be able to dig in your pocket forever and I know plenty of women who just want a guy who goes to work and comes home that doesn't cheat, abuse, or use drugs. Best of luck to you sir. I used to work in a giant factory and 2-3 guys were always getting divorced. I've seen and heard all of the horror stories and you'll be ok as long as you remember that tomorrow is always a new day and a fresh start. One day at a time man.

Your state does not recognize common-law partnership? Where I live, its treated pretty much the same as marriage. Common law partners get all the benefits as well as penalties that come with married couples.

Common law marriage, or cohabitation, was abolished by Wisconsin state law in 1917 and as such is not recognized in Wisconsin. It does not matter how long the couple has lived together, and the circumstances surrounding the cohabitation do not matter either. A common law marriage is not considered a legal marriage.