Quote (s0k @ Oct 3 2021 07:58am)
Im 28.
I've had a relationship that lasted 3.5 years.
I go when that inner voice feels good. The problem is that I find out I don't really know how to be alone and feel like my inner voice just wants me to find company for everyday. Yet I keep finding faults in every girl I meet and can't imagine myself long term with any of them.
Everyone has faults. It's okay to not want to be with someone because of something and dating just teaches you which faults you are willing to be with and which are dealbreakers (examples like being lied to constantly, or having money stolen from you, not trusting you for no reason, massive debt...). You have to train your mind to stop waiting for the faults to pop up as if your relationship is good
until a dealbreaker emerges. This can be difficult to break.
or you might have to drop a few things that you consider dealbreaker faults (examples : a guy from her past that shes over and has no contact with, leaving her dishes out...) or have her work on improving something like, if you become very serious you may want her to stop contact with a guy from her past.
You're 28, so time is your most valuable resource right now. You can't really afford to be wasting it with girls that you are just going to inevitably lose interest in.
Start prioritizing what
you need in a partner and look for those things, and try to minimize your list of "dealbreaker faults" down to really important big ones.... and try to find them out as soon as possible (examples: she never wants kids and you do, massive debt, addicted to hard drugs...)
Eventually the scales will balance out and the important things will outweigh smaller insignificant faults.