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I had sex with my gftwice, not suicidal but if I died I wouldnt rly care. I notice this after jerk off too. It kill my entire will to do anything. I also notice it killz my character and morals. I alrdy have little to no empathy for other human beings, even my gf (psychologists have told me it is normal for children who didnt really have nurturing figures around to fail to develop bonds associating others with care, compassion camaraderie, etc. They become distant and emotionless toward others), but I feel nothing for any1 even more. Like I could watch a family get hit by a train and wouldnt feel anything.
It makes sense evolutionarily maybe. If you've passed on your Genes you've fulfilled your destiny , mission accomplished, time to clock out forever