Quote (D34dlycardz @ Mar 10 2020 08:52am)
Reflecting on this I can see that's how we built back up to our high points, its a struggle and from what I'm hearing, this is normal for longer relationships? Maybe I'm not accepting that the honeymoon period doesn't last forever....
With your edit it's more like “she’s a good girl and I don’t want to leave/B]her.” She has been my rock to lean on since she doesn't get over emotional, which is my catch 22: I want a solid foundation but also more excitement. It might be more because I've been losing my IRL friend circle to life (kids, marriage, too busy) and don't get out like I used to.
Also depression is bullshit. So glad I don't have kids yet.
I haven’t been in a serious relationship for years, but I can tell you from some women that I’ve been with/talked to recently that the honeymoon phase does wear off quickly and then it’s rather mundane, and you move on, if neither of you are continually trying to keep it going. For me, I think the key is finding someone who’s personality matches mine, someone I want to impress. When I stop feeling like I need to try I lose interest and default to being “just regular and nice.” I stop being funny, sarcastic, trying to charm them, etc.
My best suggestion for you would be to evaluate the following things:
Do I love her?
Would I be happier without her?
What would I do without her? (Engage in more extracurriculars, etc. because you can do those regardless of her being there or not, so think about that as well)
Am I upset with myself/MY situation (work, friends, etc.) and it’s showing up as “my relationship is in shambles!” Is she actually distant and acting different, less sex/affection?
Like I said, I haven’t been in a relationship that’s super serious in a while, but these are some things I’d ask myself if I were in one before deciding to call it quits.
FWIW, my parents recently called it quits a few years back. My dad moved out, they both dated other people, and now they’re back together. Dating is hard and people have baggage. Ultimately I think it came down the old saying of, “the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.”
Hope this puts things in perspective for you a little bit! And remember, communication is key in ANY type of relationship, even friendships!