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Member
Posts: 3,548
Joined: Mar 13 2013
Gold: 70.10
Feb 20 2020 09:47pm
Quote (Zinaga @ Feb 10 2020 08:09am)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=L5UZLWWWnhE

Take a listen and a few moments to give me some feedback and I will pay you for your time,I’m looking for honesty.

10fg for thoughtful negative and or positive
Feedback / what I could improve upon and or what you like.

I’m always trying to hone my craft.

Post here and then pm me to be paid for your time.


I like the line with the half of my heart the devil thought I traded. that was cool.
all in all I would be more than happy to talk more with you about structure / beat styles or whatever. I'm not too active with music but I am experienced let me know.
Member
Posts: 2,766
Joined: Mar 5 2018
Gold: 7.77
Feb 23 2020 07:50pm
Came in for the free FG, but that’s actually not bad.

Really like the beat, sounds like something you might hear on a radio station. Who is ever singing sounds like they are trying to create a sound, doesn’t really sound natural to my ear. Maybe just loosen up a bit and let the voice just be normal. If that makes any sense.

Really surprised at the overall quality, very nice.
Member
Posts: 4,949
Joined: Nov 4 2006
Gold: 0.00
Mar 5 2020 01:55pm
Quote (Zinaga @ 10 Feb 2020 09:09)
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=L5UZLWWWnhE

Take a listen and a few moments to give me some feedback and I will pay you for your time,I’m looking for honesty.

10fg for thoughtful negative and or positive
Feedback / what I could improve upon and or what you like.

I’m always trying to hone my craft.

Post here and then pm me to be paid for your time.


[Lyrics]

[Verse 1]

left in this body yeah im stuck in this shell
conversing with angels who trying to save me from hell
as i try to find a reason to hide myself from self
but i cant
and that's the reason they say i need help
but naw my brains freezin from their reasoning let it melt
the sodium from they forced had is saving self
plan one and two share truth...but make wealth
better yet na ill just do it for my own health
its to late he couldn't pick his fate he got shot down catch another round if he lift his face
but naw naw he cant face this metal at his teeth got em lookin like braces

and im just

living my life never folding i want the mansion on the hill with the crown molding
when they said i couldn't do it that shit only embolden
what the being in his mind had already told him
molded for greatness but reach for whats golden
or fall from potential and regress from atonement
i'm ten toes down till i get threw that moment
but i'm humble i don't need it i want it

[Verse 2]

i've fallen from grace i'm in limbo till later
digging down like an excavator
yet i'm coming up from hell in an elevator
with that half of my heart the devil thought i traded
i got two ear two eyes but one mouth
i listen to talk before i spread about
missed a sense but to see ill flood it out
get lifted in light cuz awaken from drought
not promised a purpose
thoughts changing like reasons
switching like digits
changing like seasons
we could get the vision to see it then you make it
ponder the facts ignoring that they faking
don't ask for shit/ship just take it
take
take this

[Verse 3]

sick with the shit nigga i'm a technician
but when i say it i feel like i'm fishing
cast that line and you can see what you missing
my motto is strange
music my mission
third eye open
forget my vision
bloody carcass forfeit the kitchen
fuck lytlz
what they scream while they girls gets it
she roll over like a blunt and i hit this
my metaphor is laced like a drug head hitlist
forbidden fruit on the eve ill pick this
assimilate the knowledge
my brain delicious
can you comprehend yeah get this
true poet
replay not rewind and ull get hit with
sick shit
twist it

[Verse 4]

the life of a hustler the life of a boss
my lights filled with strife and my hearts growing moss
they say they got my back
but then they all vanish
listen to my story ill lay it out with my hands which
defies who i am
the life of a man
do i cry to i ride contemplatin suicide
or do i hide
which really doesn't matter
define who i am minus the blood splatter

like a letter on a page
gorillas in a cage
no care just rage
scriptures torn from a page
burning into brains
and turning into flames

no story to my life all i felt was mad PAIN

[-LytLz]

This post was edited by Zinaga on Mar 5 2020 01:56pm
Member
Posts: 1,891
Joined: Nov 7 2009
Gold: 3.00
Mar 13 2020 08:47pm
It definetly good. The vocals are a bit low. It sounds like you may need to emphasize some words but then again it could just be that the vocals are to low. I love the beat too something original.
Member
Posts: 3,824
Joined: Mar 23 2017
Gold: 20.00
Mar 17 2020 07:04pm
It sounds great however you need to improve your vocals, but in an overall picture it's great.
Member
Posts: 4,949
Joined: Nov 4 2006
Gold: 0.00
May 10 2020 08:18pm
Quote (jrae @ 13 Mar 2020 20:47)
It definetly good. The vocals are a bit low. It sounds like you may need to emphasize some words but then again it could just be that the vocals are to low. I love the beat too something original.


Quote (Miltonelputito @ 17 Mar 2020 19:04)
It sounds great however you need to improve your vocals, but in an overall picture it's great.


thanks for the input

sending
Member
Posts: 2,391
Joined: May 1 2014
Gold: 68,877.40
May 11 2020 01:42am
ayyy this was pretty dope. agree with what's already been said about the volume/emotion on the vocals on some parts. but on other parts this shit bangs. keep up the good work
Member
Posts: 4,949
Joined: Nov 4 2006
Gold: 0.00
May 15 2020 11:33am
Quote (umbro1 @ 11 May 2020 02:42)
ayyy this was pretty dope. agree with what's already been said about the volume/emotion on the vocals on some parts. but on other parts this shit bangs. keep up the good work


sent thx for the feedback
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