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TheBadGuy
#31 Feb 4 2020 07:06pm
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that dudes drilling ur gf LOL
Forg0tten
#32 Feb 5 2020 04:02am
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Quote (TheBadGuy @ Feb 5 2020 02:06am)
that dudes drilling ur gf LOL


That's just sensation seeking in the subforum mate, I can't take that seriously :)
@#30 I guess you have a point there, I'd just hate to end up leaving only to realize later on that she was speaking the truth about it all along.
Either way, she's coming to talk in a few hours from now. It'll be the talk of whether or not we want to continue. She's serious about being with me all right. I was the one looking for that next step up until 2 weeks ago, from which point she expressed an interest in that next step. Now I'm just trying to pospone while she's pushing for 'going official'.
I don't see us rise above this issue but I hope she and I can prove me wrong. Time will tell.
Corsinoxcore
#33 Feb 5 2020 08:13am
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Quote (Forg0tten @ Feb 5 2020 05:02am)
That's just sensation seeking in the subforum mate, I can't take that seriously :)
@#30 I guess you have a point there, I'd just hate to end up leaving only to realize later on that she was speaking the truth about it all along.
Either way, she's coming to talk in a few hours from now. It'll be the talk of whether or not we want to continue. She's serious about being with me all right. I was the one looking for that next step up until 2 weeks ago, from which point she expressed an interest in that next step. Now I'm just trying to pospone while she's pushing for 'going official'.
I don't see us rise above this issue but I hope she and I can prove me wrong. Time will tell.


If she's pushing for going official with you, she needs to recognize that this other guy needs to be out of the picture.
She's just being selfish otherwise. As the saying goes, she can't have her cake and eat it too.

Gl
Forg0tten
#34 Feb 6 2020 05:52am
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Quote (Corsinoxcore @ Feb 5 2020 03:13pm)
If she's pushing for going official with you, she needs to recognize that this other guy needs to be out of the picture.
She's just being selfish otherwise. As the saying goes, she can't have her cake and eat it too.

Gl


We talked about it, had elaborate hugging sessions (giggity), and called 5th of Februari our starting point. When she first arrived at my place the first thing she said was that she stopped all contact with him and she (finally) said that if he ever hit on her she'd point him away for obvious reasons. Me being the derp that I am said that that meant a lot to me and since she will inevitably run into him at scouts parties anyway I'd rather she stays on good terms with him.
I guess now that she knows what she wants and doesnt want from that guy I'm a lot more comfortable with it, though I did say that I will probably sometimes poke a stick at the subject and she understood :P
Corsinoxcore
#35 Feb 6 2020 10:13am
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Quote (Forg0tten @ Feb 6 2020 06:52am)
We talked about it, had elaborate hugging sessions (giggity), and called 5th of Februari our starting point. When she first arrived at my place the first thing she said was that she stopped all contact with him and she (finally) said that if he ever hit on her she'd point him away for obvious reasons. Me being the derp that I am said that that meant a lot to me and since she will inevitably run into him at scouts parties anyway I'd rather she stays on good terms with him.
I guess now that she knows what she wants and doesnt want from that guy I'm a lot more comfortable with it, though I did say that I will probably sometimes poke a stick at the subject and she understood :P


Congrats bruh!
PinkLipstick
#36 Feb 6 2020 10:50am
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I stay happy with the end of the story and that everything is good, but let me tell you from a woman side, i would never be going out with guys not even only friends, im married for 4 beautyful years and wouldnt change nothing, not even friendship for it, hope she see that she have someone that truly loves her :wub:

This post was edited by PinkLipstick on Feb 6 2020 10:50am
Forg0tten
#37 Feb 6 2020 05:40pm
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Quote (PinkLipstick @ Feb 6 2020 05:50pm)
I stay happy with the end of the story and that everything is good, but let me tell you from a woman side, i would never be going out with guys not even only friends, im married for 4 beautyful years and wouldnt change nothing, not even friendship for it, hope she see that she have someone that truly loves her :wub:


One of my best mates was in a similar position where his new GF basically demanded (she's not very nuanced) that he would stop contact with his ex that he was still "OK-ish" with. He did so and admitted to me yday that it wasn't until later that he realized she was very right to ask that of him, so he understood my opinion quite well =P
GodSmiter
#38 Feb 6 2020 10:35pm
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Glad things worked out and I think you did the mature thing by not controlling her.
Drakwen
#39 Feb 9 2020 06:46am
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Quote (Forg0tten @ Jan 25 2020 08:36am)
Haha never thought I'd start a thread here myself :D

So I'm dating someone since early November and it's going rather well.
She's in the scouts where she has a lot of friends, one of which was her fwb until she met me. She had feelings for him for a long time and he always just used that for the physical part, until the point (somewhere during the summer) where she realized that it wouldn't ever work out so then she just kept seeing him for the physical part.
Even when we started dating she went to his place to watch a movie - which was not about watching the movie. He had intentions, but she went there to inform him that she wanted to stop doing all that because she was dating someone.
She did stay over to sleep (because it was already late (big bed)) but nothing happened. I believe her.

At NY eve, he texted her that he regretted the fact that things ended there and that he never gave it a shot to develop into something real.
She replied that she waited long enough, admits that she still really enjoys him but that he missed the boat. She sent me screenshots and all that because she doesn't want me to get any surprises.

Couple of weeks later he starts texting about arbitrary things again. She convinces me time and again that it's just a friendship and that she would never opt for the guy over me and all that, she doesn't actually meet up with him but she does run into him at the scouts.
She literally asked me for permission if it's OK to text with him again. And I said as much as, "I find it very weird that if he was just a fwb you would not throw him overboard when you've found something more that you actually wanted, it's like you're trying to keep a reserve line intact. But I'm not your dad, you don't need my permission"

Now, I see this guy as someone who abused her emotionally for his own physical satisfaction because she was actually in love until the last 2 months or so. And yet their friendship happily continues now that she's dating me. I've never had good relationships with someone I have dated in the past, so I find this rather weird. All my friends tell me not to worry and it's fine as long as she's open about it etc, but turns out I'm paranoid AF.

It's something we talk about very often and every answer just gives me two more questions and it's a growing problem on my side. She still has regular contact with another ex of hers, but that's a closed chapter. This fwb thing feels like a book with an open end and I find it very difficult that she still wants to hang out with him. Thoughts about this has smothered me for a long time and I'm increasingly wanting to break up, but I know full well I'd be throwing away gold. She really trusts me with things that she's never told anyone before and I believe that she's genuine with her intentions. I would never ever have her choose between one or the other.



Do I need to give it a rest? Do I need to keep talking about it with her? Or is my being paranoid here justified?



Imo if she keeps up the friendship with the fwb the benefits are inevitably going to happen again, if she wants to be with you she needs to dump him.
RoddyRicch
#40 Feb 10 2020 04:52pm
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sounds like a selfish prick to me

immature at best and that is not someone you want to be in a relationship with

This post was edited by RoddyRicch on Feb 10 2020 04:52pm
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