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dude_927
#1 Nov 29 2019 08:36am
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New girl im seeing went out bar hopping with her lady friends last night, she was texting me the whole time and i have nothing to be jealous over but my ex wife messed me up kinda bad about this stuff. I dont want to be some controlling dude but i cant help but think about all the bullshit my ex wife would be doing if it were the same situation. How to calm myself and stop being paranoid all the time? I didnt used to be this guy :(
stokley
#2 Nov 29 2019 08:52am
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how new is the relationship?
did u know her proir to relationship?
do you have mutual friends together?

im one of those people that have trust issues with everything and everyone because of personal exp but in a relationship they are not going to control me so i wouldnt attempt to control them
with that said if its new new relationship dont be all clingy it will push her away imo .. if she likes going out with friends i would suggest you do the same untill things get a little more serious
also peoples demeanor / attitude says alot you need to pay attention to see if she changes at all
dude_927
#3 Nov 29 2019 09:17am
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Quote (stokley @ Nov 29 2019 09:52am)
how new is the relationship?
did u know her proir to relationship?
do you have mutual friends together?

im one of those people that have trust issues with everything and everyone because of personal exp but in a relationship they are not going to control me so i wouldnt attempt to control them
with that said if its new new relationship dont be all clingy it will push her away imo .. if she likes going out with friends i would suggest you do the same untill things get a little more serious
also peoples demeanor / attitude says alot you need to pay attention to see if she changes at all


Non existant new, like i have absolutely no place to tell her what to do at all kinda new.
When we were kids, so no.
Yes but its a kind of "ya i know that guy but im not like that anymore" for both of us kind of thing.

Its got nothing to do with her, we arent exclusive atm, shes welcome to go to the bar and bang dudes if she wants, it has everything to do with me. I didnt used to care about shit like this. I used to hope she was going around getting it out of her system so i dont have to do shit all the time. My ex would have one sip of booze and i wouldnt see her for three days. How do i just get over it and move on?
stokley
#4 Nov 29 2019 09:34am
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Quote (dude_927 @ Nov 29 2019 10:17am)
Non existant new, like i have absolutely no place to tell her what to do at all kinda new.
When we were kids, so no.
Yes but its a kind of "ya i know that guy but im not like that anymore" for both of us kind of thing.

Its got nothing to do with her, we arent exclusive atm, shes welcome to go to the bar and bang dudes if she wants, it has everything to do with me. I didnt used to care about shit like this. I used to hope she was going around getting it out of her system so i dont have to do shit all the time. My ex would have one sip of booze and i wouldnt see her for three days. How do i just get over it and move on?


well its easier said then done trust me i know... like i said i dont trust anyone so i get where u are coming from..but everyone is different..it sounds like your ex is either alcoholic/addict, immature, or flat out didnt want to be in the relationship anymore. or she could just be slutty af but dont let that girl dictate all of them act that way because they really dont.

i was once heard trust is like a blank peice of paper but if u ball that paper up and flatten it back out it will never be the same

imo give it a little time and see if she is constantly going out and wanting to be with friends/bar more then you also at some point talk to her
find out where you both stand now and where you plan/hope for this relationship to go

how old are you guys?
either with kids?
dude_927
#5 Nov 29 2019 10:10am
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Quote (stokley @ Nov 29 2019 10:34am)
well its easier said then done trust me i know... like i said i dont trust anyone so i get where u are coming from..but everyone is different..it sounds like your ex is either alcoholic/addict, immature, or flat out didnt want to be in the relationship anymore. or she could just be slutty af but dont let that girl dictate all of them act that way because they really dont.

i was once heard trust is like a blank peice of paper but if u ball that paper up and flatten it back out it will never be the same

imo give it a little time and see if she is constantly going out and wanting to be with friends/bar more then you also at some point talk to her
find out where you both stand now and where you plan/hope for this relationship to go

how old are you guys?
either with kids?


Yes ex was recovering alcoholic, addict and probably immature. It wasnt that she didnt want to be in a relationship, she was just a pathological liar, she would do stupid shit like hide/dump out the milk so she could get a coffee on the way to get more so she wouldnt have to directly ask for coffee.
She not constantly going to the bar, we stand nowhere, and nobody knows where its going.
30+
Both have kids
stokley
#6 Nov 29 2019 11:11am
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Quote (dude_927 @ Nov 29 2019 11:10am)
Yes ex was recovering alcoholic, addict and probably immature. It wasnt that she didnt want to be in a relationship, she was just a pathological liar, she would do stupid shit like hide/dump out the milk so she could get a coffee on the way to get more so she wouldnt have to directly ask for coffee.
She not constantly going to the bar, we stand nowhere, and nobody knows where its going.
30+
Both have kids


being that i use to have a problem with drugs what it sounds like is that girl was no longer recovering she was in active addiction but thats the past dont worry about that .. dont let that situation guide your current and future relationships

with this girl now its not that i would be careful but i would find out what shes looking for is she looking to eventually possibly move into something serious or is this just a pass time get fucked type thing and you need to know what your getting into so you dont get hurt for going into this relationship wanting/expecting different things .. the reason i say this is because everyone is diff i dont know the girls life story but you guys are adults and have children ( not together) but at this stage in life she shouldnt have like the time to be going to the bar all the time .. jobs / kids / girlfriends or boyfriends dont leave much room to run the town but at the same time everyone should get breaks from real life/responsibilities and see old friends and have fun here and there but not constantly

if it were me .. i would let it rock out for a lil while to see how things go and pay attention to her and her attitude towards you its so early on your right you have no room to say shit about shit if you guys arent really together yet
after a little time passes see if you feel like trust is building or if your starting to really not trust her lol
A1RES
#7 Dec 4 2019 08:13pm
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It'll take time for sure.. just be patient and continue doing your best to prove it all. all the best :)
GuZ
#8 Dec 6 2019 03:30am
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Has she given you any actual reason to suspect she is looking for an opportunity to cheat on you?
If not, you should remember that she has chosen to be your partner and ignore all of those irrational doubts. Those are your own personal insecurities that you must deal with.

Suspicion of infidelity can ruin just as many relationships as the actual cheating. Do whatever you have to in order to get over the past. Therapy. Meditation. Personal development to boost confidence.

Other men are going to come into her life no matter what you do. Men will hit on her, men will befriend her. The only thing you can do is be a solid partner and know your own worth and trust in her to deal properly with any unwanted attention.
Why would she be looking to cheat on you? You are a fucking catch and you are improving everyday. That's the kind of mentality you need to have.
Portmouth
#9 Feb 1 2020 05:25pm
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aint your fault my man, your bullshit ex wife did it too you.

you just gotta have a bit of trust with your new girl - always hard when your coming out of a shit relationship
neooo
#10 Feb 1 2020 09:24pm
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get gf to download diablo 2 then join a trust 4 trust game
if she puts her merc outside of wall and hostiles you, you can tell she does not trust you
file for devorce
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